Tell me again why I shouldn't get pregnant...

I know it is not safe, and I am pretty much being good.

I am 7 weeks out, I have lots 100 lbs, I am feeling good.  I get around 600 calories a day, but I could add in another 300-500 in shakes if I tried hard.  

I have had infertility issues all my life... me and my ex (his sperm count was crazy low).

My new boyfriend does not have that problem, and it is likely that my fertility is increasing (I have PCOS)... it is SO tempting to play with fire...

Why again is is bad if I get pregnant???  I know it can compromise my weight loss... I'm more worried about the risks to the baby.

I need to get it in my head so that i will be a good girl................. I know they say wait at least a year...

This is just my opinion, but I think that's a little of what you are looking for to be able to roll comments and ideas around for yourself?

I don't have a medical reason for you, that's a question for your doctor.  But why not give yourself the year to live yourself.  It's a new life already that you have to baby, coddle and help become the new grown up you all over again. 

Wait until you can give full attention to a new baby since right now, you are still having to re-learn and maintain how to take care of yourself. 

A baby is such a gift, you will want to be able to fully attend to it's needs rather than shared with your own.

Good luck in what ever you do, babies are such a special gift but so is the chance you've been given to reclaim and live your own life.

Congrats on your weight loss too, that is awesome.

It's all about nutrition and making sure you have adequate nutrition stores for you and a baby.  Pregnancy really takes a tremendous toll on your system.  I think it is a really good idea to wait a year for your health and the baby's health number 1 and number 2, I think you do need to give yourself time to adjust on all levels to your new body.

I hear ya. My son is four, and by the time I will be allowed to be preggo...he will be 5 which makes him 6 when he has a sibling, so I often think about this.

From my understanding, the main issues is that the baby will not get enough nutrition, and at this stage you should be doing very high protein and low carbs. The ketosis is not viable to pregnancy, and could cause a miscarriage. You need carbs during pregnancy. Also, you are still overweight/ possibly obese (not sure of your BMI) and that in and of itself is a problem and you could have preeclampsia, gestational diabetes...ect. I was overweight with my little man, and had preeclampsia.

Anyway- if this is something you really want to do, at least wait till the 6 month mark to be safe. Now is way too soon.

Thanks... I know you are all right.

And my daughter is 4.5, so I am in the same boat about her being so old by the time I have a baby (if I even get to...).

Sigh.

There is a pregnancy board on this site and I'm sure you can get more info from the people who post there.  It's a big decision, good luck.  http://www.obesityhelp.com/forums/postop_pregnancy/

Thank you as always, and I know you are right.  I am not even divorced yet, dating, loosing weight, my entire world is changing so fast, and my overwhelming feeling is that I am bored.

I don't know what to do with all of my extra emotional energy now that I don't have all of the foster care/adoption/ ass hole ex bull to deal with.  I AM focusing on me... counseling and everything, but there is only so much focusing to do, ya know?

I'm trying to stay engaed in the support network in my program... I've even been asked to speak at a pre op group... I'm spending time with friends and family, focusing on my daughter (she has special needs and takes a lot of focus... plus I'm researching new services for her now that she's older)... desperatly trying to develop a transfer addiction to cleaning (NOT happening)....

BUT I am down right bored.  I have emotional energy and not enough "stuff" to spend it on.  Hell, I even dabbled in emotional eating for a week or so... it sucked me in, but it didn't have the same pull... it was SO much easier to kick, and I'm back on track.

I just don't know where to go from here.  Life is just, well, boring.

sigh.

Kanga forgive me if I'm wrong, but aren't you the one who just ended an abusive relationship, and only recently started dating this new boy friend?  If that is you I need to be real with you and say slam on the breaks and buy a costco sized box of condoms!!  We all love babies but take care of you and get used to your new life for a little while before you think of another big life change.  No matter how happy you are with this new guy you can't be sure of the longevity of the relationship yet.  Single mom of 2 is not 2 times as hard as single mom of one, it's got to be MUCH harder.  How would the new BF feel about being a sperm donor?  Does he want the responsibility of fatherhood now?  Have you discussed it?  I'd love to start dating again, but I'm looking at it like AA.  It's a bad idea to start a relationship when you are in your first year of sobriety.  The first year after this surgery has got to be like that- huge changes and hormone shifts playing with your emotions. Then think about the stress of the pregnancy and worrying if the baby is getting enough nutrients to be healthy and you getting enough to remain healthy?  What about your daughter and all of the changes she is going through with mommy changing so much and falling in love with a new man who is really a stranger to her?  Would a new baby add to that stress?  I love children, but to have one because you want to and now you can I not always the best choice.  I know you are probably pretty angry with me by now but I really do wish you only the best.  If this new relationship is as good as it feels, you will be just as happy getting pregnant a year from now.

Nope, not angry... grateful for the reality check!

I guess I just really need to write it all out.  And the kicker?  The relationship isn't amazing or anything... it has potential, but we're moving kind of slow... I JUST introduced him to my daughter after 3 months of knowing eachother... we are SO not at the baby phase, but we've not been as careful as we should be a few times... he'd be bummed if I got pregnant now but he's a great guy and very responsible... he knows full well the risks... I guess it would kinda be a sperm doner kind of thing.

And you're right... I wasn't thinking about my daughter, other than giving her a sibling... but she needs me right now.

And I need to put more distance between my relationship with my abusive ex before I bring someone else into it...

But, like I said above, i am bored... I just don't know where to put all of my energy.  And this is the closest I have ever been to actually being able to have my own biological baby... it is tempting....

I am MESSED UP!!!

Thanks for reeling me in!