Negative issues

 I know I'm doing this for me... my health... my life... my husband is being SO supportive... He is wonderful.  But, and you knew this was coming, he's the only one.  My sisters are so concerned and negative, if I don't manage my emotions before and after the procedure, if one thing goes wrong it will all be thrown in my face.  I need to be strong... do you hear me quivering inside?

How do you or did you deal with negative family issues or everyone telling you stories about how everything went wrong... horror stories...?  My surgery is 12/5... I shouldn't have told anyone until 12/4... live and learn...

I've learned so much in reading these posts and feel 'virtual' support from you, for which I am truly grateful!

Daisy,
I am in the same boat. There are plenty of loved ones who support me, and plenty who don't..Some I just chose not to tell. Our emotions are scattered everywhere as it is. Thank goodness we can come here and share with each other. I think due to the stress, most people think I have gone nuts...nope, it's just a lot to take in all at once...Hugs!

 Thanks for the wise words - Hugs back to you too!   I've kept it pretty much news to just those closest to  me, and, well.  it is interesting.  You are right, emotions are everywhere and I just need to keep moving forward daily.  Thanks for the support!

I waited a really long time to tell most of my family - because they are all thin and don't understand what I was going through.  They can see I have been loosing weight - saw them for labor day....but I can't wait for Thanksgiving when there is even a more drastic difference - then if they ask I will tell them.   Pre-surgery people were on a need to know basis - I was afraid that too many people would know and then if I chickened out at the last minute I would have to explain myself.  Obviously I didn't chicken out and now I don't care who knows - I would scream it from the rooftops if I could! LOL   Remember YOUR opinion is the only one that matters - this is YOUR decision to make - they should know that you are smart and have done all the research and are doing what is best for YOU!   Good luck!

 Oh yeah.  l've posted about this before.  What l'm doing is 'wrong', and why can't l just do it with eatting less?..  The latest one is 'prove us wrong'.  Yeah.  lnsulting, isn't it? Don't they realize that they're not helping one single bit, only being hurtful?

Please keep talking to people in this forum - they've been there, done that and are very supportive.

Good luck to you!!!

I'm a bit of a smartass. . . If you've read around here much you've probably noticed this about me. So, this might not work for you and your family, but it worked lovely for me.

My reply was: "When you have graduated medical school, earned the M.D. behind your name, have 5-10 years of bariatric surgery under your belt, and my insurance company agrees, or I deem my hard-earned money to be spent toward your fees(if you're a self-pay patient), then and ONLY then will I heed your advice, opinions, and/or suggestions. Thanks and I appreciate your concern, but I don't need nor want to hear your negative comments at this point. My doctor, and I know what is BEST for me and my future health."

 I appreciate the 'smartass' approach!   Thanks!!

I didn't tell *anybody* until the Thursday before my surgery on Monday.  Just my partner, and paid professionals.  I decided I needed to tell my family beforehand because I feared being one of those old people who won't tell their kids about going into the hospital.  They were great.  It was a big shock to my dad.  My brother shrugged.  My sister had reservations, you could tell, but she didn't say anything because it was clearly too late.  I think that worked out okay ffor me.

 My husband, my children and my neighbor (who had a RNY 5 years ago and is sort of my sponsor), those are the only people who will know.  Everyone else can kiss my butt.  Of course I don't see anyone as I live 500 miles from my mom (morbidly obese) and 3000 miles from my Aunt.  It'll probably be at least a year past my surgery that either of them will see me.  There are plusses to living all over the world.

My mother and children wre against me having the surgery and I told them all. "While I apperciate your concerns, I'm doing this for me." and i did and have never looked back.