Thoughts on telling people

 I told everyone.

I'm very open about my life and the choices I make. They're mine to make and if people have a problem with it, they can eat a d*ck.

Seriously.

I'm also very transparent in my journey because I know it's inspiring for others. In fact, a close friend ended up having the same surgery by my surgeon and I felt good being able to encourage her. Other people have said they've been inspired and feel more comfortable seeking WLS as an option.

That makes me happy. what's going on at your job is not WLS related. Your boss is a ***** I'd be all and down the HR offices with complaints were I in your shoes. 

i understand why some people want to keep it a secret, but I can't relate. I don't feel like lying about the choices I make for MY body. If other people can't deal with it, eff em.

I like your approach!

uhm OP ..... do you work at the same school as me lol????  you have just described my principal to a T!  and i have not told anyone at work about my surgury either.  i know the rumor mill will fly and people will try to find out what is "wrong" ....not their damm business. 

good luck!

 The small town rumor mill in my neck of the woods is insane.  One year I was pink slipped when I walked into work.  My husband who works as a teacher 40 miles away from my job knew before lunch, and not from me.  Another teacher emailed a teacher who happened to know the teacher who worked across the hall from him and she told him.  Unbelievable.  The one thing I am VERY good at is shutting people down when they start to pry, no worries about that.  I don't care what they say, but I do care if they are upset/concerned that it is cancer when it really isn't.  That can be a drain on the building and morale in and of itself. I already have a few people afraid to talk to me about anything other than very routine stuff, they must think it is contagious!

People are going to notice and comment about the weight loss ad nauseum regardless of whether they know it's from the surgery. Just brace yourself. And some may worry about cancer or an eating disorder.

I feel the same way you do. I don't want to have to talk about it a lot. I'd rather lose slowly so that people didn't notice. I don't want a lot of attention. I just want to get healthy.

DH knows, my parents, sister, and two friends know.

I'm thinking that at work I'll send out an email saying something like this.
"I'm going to be out for a couple of weeks. I'm having weight loss surgery. I don't necessarily want to talk about it a lot, but I don't mind people knowing. It's not a secret and you can tell people if it comes up in conversation. I'll lose weight rapidly after and I don't want people to be alarmed. Thanks in advance for your support well wishes."

I'll send that to my team at work. I'll probably do similar on FB.

 Never thought about a blanket email, i will have to think about that.  I usually do not put anything like that in writing... 

I'm a high school music teacher and pretty close with most of my students. I am opting not to tell my students anything, "I'm just going to disappear for a week before Christmas break" The only reason I am not yelling about this amazing tool to my students from the roof top is... At the end of Oct, one of my student's parents passed away unexpectedly from a Pulmonary Embolism (PE) from routine knee surgery. To say this was a hard experience is putting it lightly. Many of the students in all of my choirs went to the wake and even sang a song we sang last year at the funeral. At the last minute when the students' family couldn't find someone to sing the mass, I stepped in. Anyway a majority of my students are now freaked out from even the topic of surgery not to mention that most of them know I am a survivor of a PE.

So anyway, long story short I'm keeping my lips sealed for now because I don't want to freak out any of my students. As far as my coworkers, I've told two people (one my best friend and another I'm close too) that I'm having weight loss surgery. My best friend has been amazing. She's the beautiful girl who wears a size six that had me be a bridesmaid in her wedding in the summer even though I wore a size 22 dress in it! She's stood behind me with everything. My husband is deployed right now, if he doesn't make it home before the surgery she's offered to move in with me for a week to help out with my six year old daughter. And she's helped me pick out little rewards along the way AND we have committed to taking a trip together once I reach my goal! I've also told two of my principals that I was going to have some 'personal' surgery. I really think the principal that i'm really close too figured it out but he's keeping quite.

I've told some parents that I'm really close too just as a heads up when I 'disappear' . I've also told some close friends about the surgery. All of them say, "You don't need it you look great!" That really annoys me when people say that. I'm tired of hearing I have a pretty face and a great heart. Over the years I've been a Yo-Yo dieter. I've dropped 90 lbs one time and 65 lbs another. I'm ashamed of what I look like right now. I'm embarrassed to go back to my gym because people there knew how hard I worked before. I was in the gym 6 days a week for HOURS. So I brought a treadmill and put it in my bedroom so I can start losing a little before I go back to the gym. I'm going back to the gym, there is nothing like lifting weights are kick boxing especially after dealing with cranky and emotional teenagers all day.

Sorry for the rant but this is the first time I've admitted this to anyone besides my mom and best friend. I'm being very selective on who I tell before the surgery. But knowing me, I'm going to tell everyone after the first month or two. I know how ashamed I am to be at this weight. I know there are others out there who feel the same way. If I can inspire one person, I would do it in a heartbeat. If you've taken the time to read all of this thank you. It feels good being able to admit it and to put it in writing for all to see!

God Bless!

 I am not sure my prinicpal would keep it quiet.  When I first had to go to him about the cancer I had to tell him I needed to go out on a short medical leave for surgery, but I didntt know when.  I asked the boss not to tell the superintended (he asked for permission) because I just didn't know enough and wanted to wait until I had a little more concrete information.  I am on a committee with all of the adminstrators, superintended included, and at the next meeting they approached me about it.  The principal didn't know because he ran late that day, but I was PISSED!  Loss of trust to say the least.

On a separate note, because a second opinion said it could be terminal if it got into the eye socket I had to have the surgery done during the school year.  I had a group of students for two years, and one student just had his father pass away from cancer.  It was a real quandary for me- tell the truth to the kids because I would be gone and when I returned I would be bandaged/scarred on the face or make something up.  In the end I decided to contact the mom, explain the situation, and then tell the kids.  If this group of students sees me lose a ton of weight (and they will see me, they constantly come back to visit) they may think that it is also the cancer- especially the one student as his father slowly lost a huge amount of weight.  Ugh, being a teacher can be very complicated!  

 Oh, duh.  And I think it is very cool that you felt like you can share!  I would much rather tell my kids that I am missing a week of school before Xmas because of a vacation, that would be so much easier...!  :And I so can't sing, but that is a very cool thing you did for your student's family.

I'm sorry to hear that your boss is a jerk. I can relate with not telling very many people. I don't work but I'm a full time college student. I have about three people that I associate with outside of school, they won't be told. I am telling my mother because she had rny six years ago. My grandmother, because she's my prayer "warrior". My fiance, because he supports my decision. I also told my baby sister and sister- in-law. One of my best friends knows and he fully supports me. My other best friend ( who is overweight also ) doesn't know. She is very negative about WLS and believes only pepple who are in her words " like 500 lbs" should have it. My father knows that it may be an option but he is unaware that my mind is already made up. I have a huge family on both sides and i will not tell any of them. If you are like me you just don't want to hear the negativity. I want people who are going to support me or keep their opinions to themselves. I have been researching since I was 17 yrs old. I am now 24.