Guilt and plastic surgery

Hi guys -

I know this question would be more appropriate for the general forum, but honestly, I find a few folks there a bit contrite and mean, so I just want to ask the VSG folks.

So, I'm starting to near my goal... and recently, I keep thinking about plastic surgery.  I've never thought about having cosmetic surgery before in my life.  Here's my deal.  I'm a guy, and my body is all wonky-shaped.  I've got a weird, hourglass shape going on.  So.  The middle of my torso, is slim.  I mean, I can see a couple ribs - how is that possible?  Ok, moving up from the slim torso I've got extra padding and a small dose of dreaded man-boobs.  Ugh.  They aren't horrible, but they do exist, and they stick out more than any belly I have does.  Now, moving south from my mid-torso is my belly.  This is the real problem - it's still big.  It's the hold out.  And it's got extra skin to boot. 

The belly is a problem, because it screws up where my natural waist would be.  I have a 'new' waist, and it's below where the real waist would be.  So pants are a big problem - they are always falling down, the belly pushing it down.  Belts are no help - I started having to wear suspenders.  These suck - they are always coming off.  I wear them under my shirts because they cut into my belly and show off my lose skin if they're on the outside.  Ugh.  

So... my partner and I got bills like we all do, right?  I can invest future money into our bills, or vacations ... or my body.  And my fiance/partner is very supportive of using our money for future plastic surgery, but it's hard for me to shake the guilt trip I'm giving myself about it.  I dunno - I just can't shake dumping 5K, 10K, 15K into reshaping my body, even though it seems to mean a lot to me.  It would be so great to bill out some loans with that money.

Anyone else experience this, and how did you get past it, or did you give up?

 I hear you for sure.  I had many of the same thoughts.

In the end?  I had plastics.  I went after insurance to get as much paid for as I could.  And I worked a second job to earn "extra" money so that my family didn't really see a decrease in our standard of living with what I spent.  And I focused on my biggest "issue" areas. 

One thing to think about - even with plastics, your body will never be perfect.  If you think you're going to be GQ hot after plastics, that just isn't realistic.  So you need to think about what kinds of things most affect your life.  For me this was tummy and arms.  Tummy because I run, and the rubbing and slapping really impacted my ability to exercise comfortably.  And my arms because it affected the kinds of clothes I could buy - my flappy arms were also LARGE compared to the rest of my body and many shirts just wouldn't fit over them.  I eventually had my breasts done - but only because my PS got them completely covered ...so it didn't cost me anything.  I would have left them otherwise.  They needed work - but didn't really affect my everyday life.

Lots to think about - keep talking and check out before and after pics on the plastics forum and online to see what you can realistically expect...

Thanks for this.

I don't want to be GQ-hot or anything, but I want to be able to tuck my shirt in and wear a belt, and not have man-boobs.  Those two things along would make me supremely happy.

 I've been thinking a lot about this lately. I have two small kids and I wonder all the time if it's fair for me to buy a new ass when I should be putting money into a college fund. The answer is that I honestly don't know. I'm going to have to get some quotes from a few surgeons and find out exactly how much I'd be on the hook for when it's all said and done.  There's a world of difference between $5K and $25K, you know?

I like to think I'm worth it, but right now I just don't know. I need a grand total to be able to decide. It's also going to depend on what my body looks like when I get to goal. Do I want to cry when I look in the mirror? Can I control it with shape wear? Do my clothes fit correctly? There are just too many variables for me to decide right now.  Good luck with your decision. I really understand how hard it can be.

I think we share a similiar viewpoint. 

Another thing I didn't mention above is that I feel ... ugly for my partner.  I mean, he's so supportive, and is so positive and encouraging, but I remember how I look in the mirror, and feel like I'm disappointing him with my body even though he's never said a word to support that.  I know it's all in me.  

Clothes fit... oddly.  If the top part of a shirt fits, then the bottom is too tight.  If the bottom is ok, then the shoulders and chest are too big.  The only pants I can really wear are low-cut because of my waist issue.  And belts don't function.

Thanks for writing.

I think Erica's made really good points.  The extra skin really does effect quality of life and there's nothing wrong with wanting to remove it.  Do your best to get insurance to cover it, and if you can take another job, that would be awesome.  I plan on having plastics if I am paying for it for the next 20 years!  Good luck and congrats on getting to goal so quickly!

Wow....

That's great.  But how did you get to feeling comfortable to paying off your plastics for so many years?

I decided that I am 46 and looked like crap for 1/2 of my life so far.  When I get to goal my insurance will  pay whatever I can get them to pay (good to know about that Cali law, I'm in LA), and I'll pay for the rest with whatever it takes, even if it's my sky miles American Express.  I want to love what I see in the mirror after all of this work.  I also want to turn 50 looking the best I can and never be tempted to hide at home because I hate how I look.  I'm single, no kids and I work hard and it's OK to make me a priority.  I've put far more ridiculous things on a credit card and spent years paying it off.  I don't spend money crazy- the car is a 2002, I deserve this, right?  You do too. 

Thanks for this.

I never thought I would have plastic srgery and now i'm considering alot of it.  it's weird, but i think that the happier i am with myself, the happier i can be with someone else.  i am looking at dr. saucedo, which there is a support group on here for.  check it out and good luck!!