OT... dating advice please... am I out of line?

Red Flags and Gut, never ignore them They give you all the information and when we ignore them, we get invested in something and it's harder.

I've currently gone on two dates with a guy who broke up with someone a few months ago. I've got him on such a long arm right now because I am sensing he's still in rebound mode. Moving in too fast and getting way too caught up with me too soon.

So before I let myself get invested, I have to sort through these things in my gut

You deserve better. There are people out there who have kids with an ex, can have a relationship with them but not have boundary issues. My rule with my boys' dad is "he's my problem not yours, I'm the buffer between". Meaning anyone I date will have minimal interaction with him. And no, he will NEVER sleep in my house again LOL nor the reverse.

You said they split in October (2 months ago) and you've been together for 2 months.... It's more than obvious that they aren't done and I can guarantee that they have not been platonic. You are going to end up being hurt my dear. He isn't being considerate of your feelings and he isn't even trying to pretend to be... cut your losses... seriously. He's a jerk. Too much baggage.

I also agree... as a parent, your kids come first.  Period.  I expect to be a DISTANT 2nd to any mans children, as they are to my daughter... I am not okay with taking 3rd place to his ex...

*I do get that sometimes dealing with the ex is all tied up with the children... like around holidays and the million other things that come up... for me... "hanging out on New Years" does not qualify as time needed with the ex in the best interest of the children... it's her being lonley and most likely wanting him back... I don't think he's even told her about me, even though I have spent a lot of time with both of his kids....

I love your style =) So true.

RUN RUN RUN from that as fast as you can.

LOL... trust me... if you had slept with me you'd want to stick around ;-)

I have been SHOCKED at how easy it is to get dates... I had NEVER dated anyone but my husband, and I weigh less now than I did in Middle School, so like this current guy I'm seeing said... I have a lot of options now... his weight has gone up and down and he knows what it's like to be the fat guy... and in that regard, he's right.

I have been really proud of myself so far... only one "mistake"... done good about getting to know guys and cutting losses when I'm not feeling it, having fun, not letting them take advantage of me, saving sex for the guys I at least see potential with (because it would be way to easy to sleep around... I can see how people fall into that at my age... my number is still very low...)  I've gone out with NICE guys... I'm afraid that this one just isn't ready to move on... though he sure is attentive and there is sooo much about him I respect... we have a lot on common... that's why I let things go as far as they did even though I kinda thought this might be the outcome...

And I might need to get a new toy or two... the ones I have are getting a little dull... lol... I have the rabbit... I agree... not all it's cracked up to be :-)

Girl, as much as it sucks, like the others have said, cut your losses and run.  This situation is never going to change, she will always be his mother so she will ALWAYS be in his life.  You have too much confidence and are at too good a point in your life to have all this drama because that is all it is going to be drama as more time goes on.  You will always look like the uncaring girlfriend if you tell him that he can't have the little boy's mother over and that he spends too much time going see him over by her house.  This in time will definitely lead to more fights. Save yourself the time and move on, there are many more drama free fish in the sea! Good luck!

Runnnn!

Cut it off.  If his feelings for you outweigh his feelings for the ex, he'll come back and you can negotiate what is acceptable to you from a stronger stance.  Or maybe you'll meet somebody else without his baggage.