"But, if you really tried you could lose weight without surgery"

I have tried to be selective about who I tell that I am considering WLS.  However, there have been a few friends who continue to tell me that having surgery is not the way to go.  I am constantly reminded that I lost 112 # on my own.  My response..That was 12 years ago when I was 26, I was single, worked PT and went to school FT.  Now, I am mid-divorce, on depression meds, 38 and a single mom to a 6 year old. 

I am soooo afraid of failing.  These friends also remind me that I can gain weight after surgery.  That if I would only make up my mind, then I could lose naturally.  I tell them that this surgery is a tool and that I understand that I need to change my thought life.  I am trying to do this now.  I joined a support group (anti-surgery) and we are dealing with WHY we depend upon food.  I am now journaling when, what and why I eat. 

I have been a big girl my whole life.  I am currently at my heaviest weight, 306.  I have gained that 112 # back plus 24#.  I figure that having this surgery is my last hope of being a healthy size.  I don't have to be 120, but I want to be healthy even if that means 190 lbs.  I want to be a role model for my daughter.

My consultantion is today with the surgeon.

 All I can say is "Bwa-ha-ha-ha!"  You have a lot going on in your life.  You will NOT fail if you follow the plan - stick to the plan - and you will be an amazing success.  I found that my friends who I told had some similar comments and well-meaning advice.  

This is YOUR decision about YOUR life.  You want to be there for your daughter.  

I've lost a few friends over my decision, but I have found new friends and a whole new lease on life.  It was a hard decision and a life-changing decision and I am SO glad I decided for my life and what a difference it has made mentally, emotionally, spiritually and in my marriage.

Don't 'try'  DO!!!  You can DO it!!!

C'mon over to the Losers bench!  You have friends waiting for you!!

I can understand people saying that.. This is why I haven't told many poeple. I lost 137 pounds a few years ago. Then my Mom got sick and passed away and I gained 60 back..
I know I CAN lose it , but I KNOW I CAN"T keep it off without the sleeve.
It is so frustrating when people say those things. I t makes us second guess a decision that was very hard in the first place.
I am so happy I got my sleeve.. Now all my hard work of losing ..It will stay gone.
Julie

 You don't have to listen to the people that say you will gain your weight back, they have no clue what you are going Thur. You will have a lot of friends on OH to help you and listen to you! You have to follow your heart and do it for your self first! I will not tell my friends and sisters till I have my surgery, My mom knows husband,son and daughter knows. I will tell the world when I have been sleeved!!!

I started off around the same weight as you at 308lbs.  I also have been big my entire life, never once being considered thin.  I was not a thin person who became fat for a while, just always been fat and have tried every diet under the sun, weigh****chers, jenny craig, nutri system, diet pills, even had some weird shots with placenta injected into me years ago that they though helped me lose weight.  Yes, I lost weight with all of them but what most people who have never been overweight don't understand is that we are dealing with an addiction, an addiction to food.  While they think it may be easy to lose it and keep it off, we know its not.  I was like you, I was scared to fail because I felt that if I failed at this, what was there left to do but just live with being fat the rest of my life.  You have to put your mind to it and decide that you are going to do this right.  I was scared that I was the only person that was going to have WLS and never lose a pound.  Well, 145lbs. later weighing in at 163lbs, I can say it's the best think I have ever done.  I would do it again in a heartbeat.  For now, I wouldn't bring it up anymore to those friends, they don't seem to be helping, get your surgery and prove them wrong, that you will lose and keep it off.  We all know you can do it!

If someone told me I could lose weight by diet and exercise, I would say enthusiastically, "Oh, yeah, I never thought of that!  Thanks for enlightening me!"  ... And then I'd roll my eyes, shake my head and mumble, "Idiot," under my breath.

I don't suffer fools well any more -- it's a side effect of VSG.

I am so glas you mentioned "I don't suffer fools well any more -- it's a side effect of VSG" , because I have noticed that about myself as well. I guess when we were heavier we put up with a lot of BS and push down our responses with food and or other substances. Now I dont have time for comments or behaviors from people that are clueless. I also notice I dont cry at the drop of the hat either. Not that I am hard hearted, because I definately empathtic to others but tears dont well up right away.

It would be interesting to know if others have experienced this as well.  Funny thing my husband said to me that you seem angry, and its not anger, it is that I am being direct and setting boundaries whereas before I was always agreeable.  I guess he is not used to me being direct instead of wishy washy. 

Barbara

I definitely speak my feelings more, so I probably come across as less nice than previously.  I have the same feelings I used to, now I'm just not afraid to speak them out loud.

I'm getting ready to buy a new car in the next few weeks, and I can't wait to use my new-found attitude on a car salesman. 

To the OP:  Don't let what people say sway you.  If you've done your research and made an informed decision, hold your head high and move forward.  It doesn't matter what they think.  It matters what you know.  I used to be a champion dieter.  I've lost all kinds of weight before, but could never keep it off.  This time, I know that I will keep it off forever.  It's a whole different ballgame with a powerful tool to keep you on track.  It takes as much effort as dieting, but it's much different this time. 

Those people haven't walked in your shoes.  Sometimes people just don't understand.  We've all tried to lose weight via diet and exercise.  It's failed us in the long term, so that's why we're back to square 1.  Surgery gives us the extra help we need and the hope for the future and the long term.  A magical fix it's not, but it sure does make a huge difference!

You gotta do what's best for you.  

For me, that statement is 100% true, factual and a reality. The sad part is that I could NOT keep it off without the assistance of the sleeve. I was a pro-dieter, I could easily drop weight, put I was a champ at putting it right back on.

It's easy for others to say that just dieting/exercising/mindful eating is the solution. I just chose to stop being in the 95% failure statistic group of diet/exercising by having surgery for a permanent solution. It still takes work to make the best choice on what goes in my mouth. I still have to avoid eating sliders. It's easy to gain weight. I honestly do not know one naturally thin woman who eats like I did pre-op and NOT gain weight. Those people will never understand our need to have surgery.

Best wishes at your consult! ! !