"But, if you really tried you could lose weight without surgery"

I was paper thin transparent when I was a child and young adult - up to the age of 30 basically. I then became pregnant and had gestational diabetes and while I did not gain an ounce during my pregnancy, leaving the hospital about 3 kilos less heavy than at the start of my pregnancy with a 4 kilo baby in my arms, in the 4 following months I put on 10 kilos. This repeat performance took place 2 additional times... and these 30 kgs grew to 40 and are now hovering at around 35 extra kilos (about 75-80 lbs). I've lost a bit here and there over the years (17 years) and have put it back on. In the last year I've lost 35 lbs and so far it's holding steady but holding.. the scale ain't movin' anymore... the gestational diabetes has become just plain old diabetes and high blood pressure and cholesterol have joined the party. Once your metabolism is f'ed up I would truly argue with the statement that one could 'just' lose by diet and exercise and mindful eating. That may have been true 17 or even 15 or 10 years ago but it simply is not true anymore. My body needs something else. Something different and yes, more drastic. And something that actually works... with diet and exercise. It's not like we are winning the lottery or something with this surgery! We will still have to lose the weight... it doesn't get cut off with the stomach!

Been there done that, lost it and gained it (with interest) I never could keep it off, loosing it I could do, but I lost interest in trying after a couple of failures, bottom line... you know yourself and this is your life. it is a very personal decision, but FOR ME, this has been the easiest to do, Ive had some bad days but all in all, It was worth it. I'm soo glad I gave myself this tool, your failure will be in not doing this for yourself, don't beat yourself up about what everyone else thinks.....your worth it, do your research, make sure this is what you want to do, then follow through. You can do this. you'll be amazed at what you can accomplish, good luck to you. hope to see you on the losers bench soon.

I'm sorry to hear about the life struggles you're facing right now, but what an awesome opportunity to make a fresh start for you & your daughter.  Not that anytime is 'bad' to get healthy, but after your divorce, when you're ready to jump back in the dating game...can you imagine how awesome it will feel to be healthier, thinner,....and all the confidence that comes with looking & feeling physically better!?!  Woohoo, watch out fellas! 

Now to the tag line...yep, heard it...even said it to myself on numerous ocassions, but it's just not true...for some of us...you know those of us who fall into the shhh...whisper..."obese" or even the more horrific category "morbidly obese" or that gasp category "severely morbidly obese".  Sorry, I'm being sarcastic, it's my second language!  I have always been big...big!  The last time I was in the 100s was in high school & I've hovered near the 300# since 2002ish with little exception.  We all have similarities in our motivations & histories, but just as many differences too.  You have to make your choice as to what works for you & while I understand that some folks see this as "drastic", I don't see it any more 'drastic' than being on a bunch of medications the rest of my life for all the co-mobidities that come along with the obesity.  If it was an operation to "fix" diabetes, would the complain or say 'if you worked hard enough you could get rid of that on your own?"  I know it's not apples to apples, but seriously - people who haven't walked in your shoes, & even some who have just need to learn to close their mouths.  Assuming you do your research on your surgeon & do the recommended things (i.e. follow the nutrition guidelines, seek therapy/emotional healthiness), your health risks are probably higher by staying overweight!  I would like to toss out a recommendation on a book here, it's called "Emotional First Aid Kit: A Practical Guide to Life After Bariatric Surgery".  I picked it up on Amazon & it was worth EVERY penny. 

Okay, I'll zip it finally.  I'll be keeping you in my thoughts & prayers that you are able to find the solution that you are at peace with, surgery or not.  Best wishes on your decision-making & your new life adventures. ~Melissa

I haven't been told that, but I'm with you, RockinMama. I'm 40 damn years old and I have been actively addressing my obesity for a long time. If there was something that I could successfully do to take the weight off and KEEP it off, I would have found it by now.

You don't need that negativity in your life, especially with all that you have going on.

I am with you on the rolemodel for our children role and WE CAN DO IT!

Well, I did say this to myself for years and like Sisyphus kept rolling that huge boulder up the hill only to have it roll back down again when I slept (my favorite metaphor for my weight loss failures).

I had a friend have RNY and while encouraging her openly, in the back of my mind I was thinking "I don't need surgery myself-I could get on top of MY problem all myself" - ah, the arrogance.

But somewhere I came to realize that I COULD use some help and it did NOT me any less of a strong and capable person. . . in fact my strength was shown in my willingness to get some help. I did it responsibilly by a lot of research and preparation. . . and then I suppose because I am 57, had a "don't care what others think" My husband is my support system it is true and I am glad he is behind me.

So best of everything to you - I'd wish you luck but I really think we make our own luck

I totally empathize with you.  I was the same way.  I was always teased and ran home by bullies.  They used to trip me going up the stairs and the capt of the football team in Jr high school made a mockery of my weight by acting like he was my boyfriend in front of everyone in the cafeteria.  This really affected my way of what I thought about myself. I very low self esteem, and always chose the wrong me in my life.  I wanted to commit suicide when I was fourteen.  I will never forget this as long as I live.  It was Labor day and the Jerry Lewis telethon was on. I was so depressed and down, that I just didn't want to live anymore, so I went to , and But in 8 days my life is going to change like never before.  Just like others that commented regarding being weight loss pros, I too am one that can drop that weight like no body's business, it any type of weight loss system out there, but I would gain it right back and then some.  I am at the heaviest in my life.  I weighed in at 306 lbs in May 2011 and my current weight today is 293.  this is only because I started my weight loss regiment Feb 28 2012.  You will be fine, and I will pray for you that everything you are trying to accomplish to be healthy and fit for not only yourself, but for your family as well, will be done in Jesus name!  The bible declares that if 2 or 3 are in agreement in the Lord's name, then he is in the midst and it shall be done! So I am standing in agreement with you!  In Jesus name, you will be thin!!!!!  God bless you and good luck to you! 

I have run into this too.  As a matter of fact, just yesterday my boss told me that he paid for six meetings with a nutritionalist because he is hoping I will change my mind.  I told him I appreciate it, but that this is my body and my decision and not one that I have entered into lightly.  I have been researching since April of last year.  I told him I will take him up on the meetings because she can help me create a menu and put together a plan to ensure I am getting the right amount of protein, fiber and good carbs without depriving myself.    It is very disheartening when you feel like you are going through things alone because you can't talk to people out of fear of the negativity.  I am also not telling many people for this reason.  Simply put, I just don't have room in my life for negativity anymore.  I know four people who have had this surgery in the last two years and none of those four people have had a bad experience or have a single regret.  You gotta do you.  Let them worry about their own lives.

Your right there, RockinMama, at the decision point, as to whether your ready to deal with this issue in your life or not, your friends are right you could fail at this and don't listen too much to our chear leading either because this one is all about YOU!   As you also know there is that other possibility that you could choose to use this most powerful tool to aid you in this fight and it might help make the difference.   It took me so long to figure this out, I flirted with the irrational hope that WLS would cure me and the reality that many fail at this but the real issue was really lurking below; I really needed head surgery and that started as I became willing to go to any lengths to change the irrational relationship with food that lead me 425 pounds and the loss of my mobility.  Your friends have nothing to do with this decision, after you are sure what you want to do, then let them know.   You have been around here long enough to know WLS is not a cure in itself and its sure as heck is "not the easy way out", its a tool, so do what you must do, to figure out if you are willing to go to any lengths to change and then whether or not your willing to accept the baggage that comes along with this tool, most of us have chosen to use.  (weigh and measure that baggage before you buy your ticket because its a one way trip and you still have to accept the baggage even if you get off the train)  

I am only 3 months out, I don't have 5+ years of sobriety and maintenance demonstrating an ability to use this tool to win over compulsive over eating.  (there are a few around)  Even with this tool its not easy but I am all in, I am not going back to 425 pounds, stuck in my house for days at a time, like a self imposed jail sentence.  I am going to have to fight battles I don't even have a clue about today and I choose this tool, to help me win those battles but the real power in my opinion, is being willing to go to any lengths, every day, one after another, I have to make that choice every time food comes up or I am hungry or I am going out to eat or at a party am I going to follow my plan and invest in my healthy self or grab the immediate pleasure in front of me and end up back there.  Right now I am in a honey moon period, I hope it lasts forever but I know, if every day I get up, willing to go to any lengths, if I am willing to use ALL THE TOOLS that have got me to a place of shedding 137 pounds off my bones, if I am willing to pick up new tools as I go along, I have a good chance at it. If I drop my guard, I'm screwed....I wi**** were easier and the tool has been helping and I can say its not so bad and I am glad I made this choice and I think I really can live with its baggage.... I wish you well on your decision and your journey to become healthy...  So RockinMama, are you all in? (you don't have to answer that this second, I'm just asking)

I needed to lose weight for life threatening health issues.  For 7 months I was in a support group and I lost almost 20lbs.  I wanted to lose the weight so very much and my life depended on it.  I got the sleeve and this tool is helping me lose weight and regain health.  What more can I say?  I tried so vey long to do it without surgery, but I could not.  I am thankful for my sleeve.
Good luck with your path and your decision.