Consider who you are talking to...

I recently was watching a show on TV that had a counselor on the show who was addressing self image issues. They had a couple of women write down the things that they tell themselves about how they look. Many of us might be able to relate to litany of comments they made about 'thunder thighs', 'muffin tops', 'bat wings', 'turkey necks', etc... After writing them down, the ladies where then asked to tell the other person that they had 'thunder thighs', 'muffin tops', 'bat wings', 'turkey necks', etc... Each of the ladies were intensely uncomfortable about doing so and when asked why they were so uncomfortable, they said because they wouldn't want to say such mean things to stranger, much less a friend. Then, the counselor asked them why it was okay to be so mean to themselves, when they wouldn't consider being so mean to a friend or stranger? Both women agreed that they might reconsider before making such disparaging remarks to themselves about themselves. 

Next, they asked them to look at themselves as though they were looking at a friend or stranger and then describe themselves from that perspective. They both provided much more gentle, compassionate, and complimentary assessments of themselves.

I think it's important that we consider that what we say to ourselves about ourselves. What we tell ourselves helps to shape how we see ourselves in literal and figurative terms. How we see ourselves also often makes a difference in how treat ourselves and take care of ourselves. 

So consider who you are talking to... and be sure to be gentle, kind and compassionate with yourself.

Thanks for this post, I needed it today.

You're welcome... I did too ;-)

Wishing you continued success,

Very wise - I think it is a loss to California that you won't be moving out here!

Oh thank you... We won't be moving for at least 2 years. After that we'll re-evaluate, but by then, the cost of housing and interest rates may not allow it. We'll just have to wait and see. 

BTW... where in CA are you?

Sacramento - you've contacted me before through my MeetUp group in my signature ;)

Please do stay in touch... either through OH or Meetup. I hope your group is doing well.

While I was house-hunting in Feb/March, I did attend one support group meeting held up at the SutterHealth Roseville facility while I was there. 

Man that's so difficult. I see myself so differently than I do others. At the same time, I admit, I'm overly critical of others as well but I'd never tell them.

I absolutely agree that it's difficult. I'm almost 5 yrs post op and I'm still working on that. I'll never be able to afford plastics. What is, is... and sometimes I'm incredibly hard on myself about it, almost 'attacking or assaulting' myself in ways I would never dream of doing to anyone else. I don't know why that is, but I'm working on trying to change it. I will say that I am generally a bit more forgiving of myself now than I was the first couple of years. That said, I'm about to go on a trip where swimsuits will be common attire and it's re-ignited some of the 'concerns' or 'distresses' I have... again, I'm a work in progress and working on it... 

It was interesting to me when I saw this on TV because the women that were on the show were never as heavy as I had once been and the issues that bothered them 'appear' minor to me, but it's all in your own personal perspective I guess... what do they say about it all being in the eye of the beholder?

 

that is a great post! And so true. I would never think of another woman with my body as critically as I view mine. So why are we (I) our own worst enemy? We have to treat ourselves with love and respect and then we will start to believe it!