VSG failure? It's in the perspective I suppose.
I posted this on the WLS failure board, but wanted to post it here too. As someone who has technically "failed" and has been on this board many times finding it difficult to find others with whom to relate, I just wanted to post my experience and plan of action. :)
I intensely dislike the term "failure." I think everyone who loses weight, surgery or not, has his or her own journey. But at this juncture, I would be termed a WLS failure I suppose.
My highest weight was 370. I lost about 70 pounds on my own and then became pregnant with my first child in 2008. After I had her, I had an intense appetite while breastfeeding. I couldn't stop putting on the pounds. I decided when she was 6 months old that I was going to have WLS and had read about the band vs the sleeve vs RNY. I decided to go for the sleeve. In May 2009, I had the procedure at a weight of around 322 and got miserably EXHAUSTED. That energy people say they feel as they lose weight did not happen in me. In fact, I've never truly felt well since the surgery. Most of it is my own doing as I have not adhered at all to my prescribed eating plan. I am not able to eat much at all at one time, but I constantly graze, looking for my next "high." I drink way too much coffee and lattes because eating is annoying to me. I don't feel like I can eat enough to really sustain myself. Anyway, I lost down to about 255 and have now gained 30 pounds back. I had another child in April 2012 and battled severe fatigue during that pregnancy. And believe if or not, during all this, I became a physician assistant (hence the PAC in my name). In any event, I'm battling anemia and have to really watch my calcium, magnesium, and B12 levels due to having to be on strong PPIs because of severe reflux from the surgery (and poor habits of course).
I never realized until today the reason I gained weight. I believe most of it is because I don't like eating much anymore. I like drinking. Eating isn't comfortable for me. According to an endoscopy done today, I have a narrowing in my stomach, which is likely causing GERD and early satiety. So eating sucks. My husband says, "I don't know how you even survive with as little as you eat." But I keep eating every 1.5-2 hours, which is the problem. I used to eat when I was hungry; unfortunately, I now eat when I'm not full. Sounds terrible, doesn't it? But I got in a really bad habit and need to break it.
So, at 285 pounds, I need to get back to the basics.
1) Protein -- my goal is now 100 g per day. I know this is a lot, but for me, I feel much better with that
2) Veggies -- I need to alkalinize my body with veggies as I have such acid. And I need to stop eating the trigger foods like most grains and sugar, which give me bad reflux.
3) No more that 1 cup of coffee a day. I have reflux; need I say more? I have a great low-acid high antioxidant coffee that I just bought. I don't believe 1 cup of this to be detrimental.
4) No drinking with meals anymore. I don't know why I started doing that...I think it's because I feel uncomfortable when I eat because of the narrowing in my stomach
5) Be kind to myself and exercise. I sleep better, look better, and feel better with exercise.
6) Daily affirmations. I have been repeating to myself, "I am strong, fit, and energetic" and sometimes actually start to feel that way.
If I had to do it over again, I am not sure I would have had the procedure. But hindsight is 20/20. I hate that I have a narrowing in my stomach, but guess what? My journey is such that because of this, I still have major restriction with food. I believe I should look at this as a positive, no? Until today, I never thought of it that way. It's almost like I have a lap band on top of my sleeve. I am getting back to basics. Lots of protein and veggies. Lots of water (except with meals
). Cutting down the grains and sugar significantly. I am not willing to say I will "never" have a latte or never have some pasta; but I do know that it needs to be occasionally, not daily.
I hope all of you out there struggling can look at the positives you still have going for you. You have your own journey and you are at this point in your life for a reason. I think the most important part is to stop berating ourselves.
Hugs and blessings,
Shannon :)
I intensely dislike the term "failure." I think everyone who loses weight, surgery or not, has his or her own journey. But at this juncture, I would be termed a WLS failure I suppose.
My highest weight was 370. I lost about 70 pounds on my own and then became pregnant with my first child in 2008. After I had her, I had an intense appetite while breastfeeding. I couldn't stop putting on the pounds. I decided when she was 6 months old that I was going to have WLS and had read about the band vs the sleeve vs RNY. I decided to go for the sleeve. In May 2009, I had the procedure at a weight of around 322 and got miserably EXHAUSTED. That energy people say they feel as they lose weight did not happen in me. In fact, I've never truly felt well since the surgery. Most of it is my own doing as I have not adhered at all to my prescribed eating plan. I am not able to eat much at all at one time, but I constantly graze, looking for my next "high." I drink way too much coffee and lattes because eating is annoying to me. I don't feel like I can eat enough to really sustain myself. Anyway, I lost down to about 255 and have now gained 30 pounds back. I had another child in April 2012 and battled severe fatigue during that pregnancy. And believe if or not, during all this, I became a physician assistant (hence the PAC in my name). In any event, I'm battling anemia and have to really watch my calcium, magnesium, and B12 levels due to having to be on strong PPIs because of severe reflux from the surgery (and poor habits of course).
I never realized until today the reason I gained weight. I believe most of it is because I don't like eating much anymore. I like drinking. Eating isn't comfortable for me. According to an endoscopy done today, I have a narrowing in my stomach, which is likely causing GERD and early satiety. So eating sucks. My husband says, "I don't know how you even survive with as little as you eat." But I keep eating every 1.5-2 hours, which is the problem. I used to eat when I was hungry; unfortunately, I now eat when I'm not full. Sounds terrible, doesn't it? But I got in a really bad habit and need to break it.
So, at 285 pounds, I need to get back to the basics.
1) Protein -- my goal is now 100 g per day. I know this is a lot, but for me, I feel much better with that
2) Veggies -- I need to alkalinize my body with veggies as I have such acid. And I need to stop eating the trigger foods like most grains and sugar, which give me bad reflux.
3) No more that 1 cup of coffee a day. I have reflux; need I say more? I have a great low-acid high antioxidant coffee that I just bought. I don't believe 1 cup of this to be detrimental.
4) No drinking with meals anymore. I don't know why I started doing that...I think it's because I feel uncomfortable when I eat because of the narrowing in my stomach
5) Be kind to myself and exercise. I sleep better, look better, and feel better with exercise.
6) Daily affirmations. I have been repeating to myself, "I am strong, fit, and energetic" and sometimes actually start to feel that way.
If I had to do it over again, I am not sure I would have had the procedure. But hindsight is 20/20. I hate that I have a narrowing in my stomach, but guess what? My journey is such that because of this, I still have major restriction with food. I believe I should look at this as a positive, no? Until today, I never thought of it that way. It's almost like I have a lap band on top of my sleeve. I am getting back to basics. Lots of protein and veggies. Lots of water (except with meals
). Cutting down the grains and sugar significantly. I am not willing to say I will "never" have a latte or never have some pasta; but I do know that it needs to be occasionally, not daily.I hope all of you out there struggling can look at the positives you still have going for you. You have your own journey and you are at this point in your life for a reason. I think the most important part is to stop berating ourselves.
Hugs and blessings,
Shannon :)
Thank you. :)
No, I have not given up. I know I would have had an easier time losing weight if it had all (or mostly all) come off in the first year. But having been very large my entire life, my body didn't want to drop the weight. When I got down to 255, I became so hungry. I was ravenous. My body was craving calories to get back to its norm. I actually think my body thinks its "set point" is around 280. That was my high school weight and the weight I always seem to get stuck at. I am a little over that right now and I can tell; my body isn't as hungry as usual. I know that I can change my set point by doing the things I know to be best (protein, veggies, exercise, water, less caffeine, lower glycemic, etc). But it's a constant struggle.
One thing I notice about people who lose weight and keep it off is this: most of them really challenge their body with exercise. Whether its running or weights (or whatever), they do things that make them incredibly uncomfortable and it challenges the body to lose weight. I have a friend who was large her entire life and lost 100 pounds 2 years ago. She became a runner and it challenged her body. Her body did not like running at 250 pounds. Her weight flew off of her, even having been large her entire life. The exact same thing happened to my brother and his wife. I don't like running, but it makes sense why a body and one's subconcious/conscious minds would not like doing it at a morbidly obese weight. So it's definitely possible to change your set point. She now says she is able to eat a lot of stuff in moderation and maintain her loss. I'm so proud of her and hope that I can do the same. :)
No, I have not given up. I know I would have had an easier time losing weight if it had all (or mostly all) come off in the first year. But having been very large my entire life, my body didn't want to drop the weight. When I got down to 255, I became so hungry. I was ravenous. My body was craving calories to get back to its norm. I actually think my body thinks its "set point" is around 280. That was my high school weight and the weight I always seem to get stuck at. I am a little over that right now and I can tell; my body isn't as hungry as usual. I know that I can change my set point by doing the things I know to be best (protein, veggies, exercise, water, less caffeine, lower glycemic, etc). But it's a constant struggle.
One thing I notice about people who lose weight and keep it off is this: most of them really challenge their body with exercise. Whether its running or weights (or whatever), they do things that make them incredibly uncomfortable and it challenges the body to lose weight. I have a friend who was large her entire life and lost 100 pounds 2 years ago. She became a runner and it challenged her body. Her body did not like running at 250 pounds. Her weight flew off of her, even having been large her entire life. The exact same thing happened to my brother and his wife. I don't like running, but it makes sense why a body and one's subconcious/conscious minds would not like doing it at a morbidly obese weight. So it's definitely possible to change your set point. She now says she is able to eat a lot of stuff in moderation and maintain her loss. I'm so proud of her and hope that I can do the same. :)
Also, if you haven't, I'd add a therapist to the mix.
It's nothing to be ashamed of - I see one!
They work on our guts, not our head...and habits are hit to beat down....especially for someone like me who's had a like of food issues to celebrate, mourn, and in general - stuff feelings down....
It's nothing to be ashamed of - I see one!
They work on our guts, not our head...and habits are hit to beat down....especially for someone like me who's had a like of food issues to celebrate, mourn, and in general - stuff feelings down....
Obesity Help Support Group Leader
Thank you for your post. You have touched me in a way I can't say in words. I am newly out but have had some regrets and wish I would have tried harder in the past. I hope I can implement the changes that I need and the strength to make it. I wish you success and you have a great way of looking at the changes you have going on. Good luck to you!
I think your comment about being addicted to feeling full is particularly noteworthy- I bet many of us can relate to that. You have your plan ready to go, now just go after it! Best of luck on your journey!
Surgeon: Chengelis Surgery on 12/19/2011 A little less carb eating compared to my weight loss phase loose sleever here!
1Mo: -21 2Mo: -16 3Mo: -12 4MO - 13 5MO: -11 6MO: -10 7MO: -10.3 8MO: -6 Goal in 8 months 4 days!! 6' 2'' EWL 103% Starting size 28 or 4x (tight) now size 12 or large, shoe size 12 w to 10.5 150+ pounds lost
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Please don't consider yourself a failure. Not having energy is not very helpful when you are losing weight. I am sure that didn't help you. Also, you got pregnant within what--18 months of surgery? I am sure that did not help. You may have continued to lose for another 6 months or longer. I mean, I know some people can get pregnant after the sleeve and lose the weight. But--having had 2 children myself--I know how taxing on the body it can be to be pregnant. It is not always simple or cut and dry to lose the weight--even with a sleeve. I think it's smart to try to go back to basics. Get back in the right habits to see if you can drop the weight with the help of the sleeve. It's great you still have restriction. I think it's VERY smart to not drink and eat. Try to make a habit of it just like after you had the surgery. If you DO decide to get a revision--at least you will have the new habits in place to be successful after your next surgery. If you can lose the weight you need to with the sleeve in place by following the habits--that's great too. Either way, I personally don't feel you're a failure at all. I agree with the other who said that it's only a failure if you give up. If you need a revision--it's okay. While I love the sleeve--I know that there are going to be people who get revisions to RNY or DS. Some people really do have metabolic issues that are beyond what they sleeve can do. I wish you all of the best and we are here for you.
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