Off-Topic: Help me get married

Congratulations!

 

Is it rude to ask/want an adult-only wedding?  

No - but if you are having a lot of out of towners with kids helping them find child-care would be very thoughtful.  You could discuss with the venue - they may have options already.

Do weddings have to be on the weekend?

Definitely not - but don't be surprised if some can't make it because it's during the week.  To me - I'd rather have a small intimate wedding anyway - but you have to judge what works best for you and your spouse!

 

How far in advance do you have to do the save-the-date thingy?

If you go with the mid week thing, give plenty of notice since people will need to take leave from work.  

What do I need for a minimum, small wedding?

Sounds like you have it covered!

I'm sure I'm forgetting something, but a place, food/drink, some facilitator, photographer, music.  Any other must-haves?

Most family weddings I've been to, there was the rehearsal, a rehearsal dinner, the wedding, a reception, then a little brunch the next day.  Really the must do is the wedding a a reception just after.  The reception can be full on with ****tails then a sit down dinner, or it can be more relaxed like a buffet/party feel.  I've been to all kinds and enjoyed all types.  I think the most important thing is to just celebrate your love for each other and make it fit your personal style - whether it be more formal or casual.

Good luck!!!!

This is really helpful; thanks!!

I have nothing to add about the wedding, but wanted to send my congratulations to the two of you.  

Questions have been answered so I won't repeat, although I do want to repeat the CONGRATS!!!

You both look great, happy and healthy! 

PS: I got married on a Thursday night :)

Ellyn

 

Congratulations to you!!!!

Is it rude to ask/want an adult-only wedding?  

No, but if you do that make sure you stick to it and don't make exceptions.  In my experience, people only get annoyed when they honor the couple's request only to find that others were told that their child would be ok.

Do weddings have to be on the weekend?

No, they don't have to, but for something that requires travel it is certainly much easier, especially given the usual rehearsal dinner, wedding prep stuff.  With something like Napa, that means basically everyone will have to take a little time off work (like a half day) to get there for a Thursday evening event, and then they'll probably miss Friday, too (or at least go in late).  If most people are flying in, I don't think it matters.  If a lot of your guests are "local" (aka Bay Area), that makes it more of an issue.  But in the end, do what works for you and the people who matter will make it work for them.

How far in advance do you have to do the save-the-date thingy?

I sent Save the Dates something like a year in advance?  I have no idea.  I think it depends on how far most people will have to travel.  You might check a site like The Knot?

What do I need for a minimum, small wedding?

I had a "day of" coordinator that made things easier.  Your venue may have someone like that included.  Florist?  While I'm here, I really loved our photographer, Christa Hoffarth.  She's based in Tahoe but travels.  Best advice:  you may skimp in lots of areas, but don't skimp on photography.  I did not have a videographer but wish I had--not because I want to watch the ceremony a zillion times, but because hubby and I did a Lindy Hop as our first dance and the person who said he would videotape it took still pictures instead.  So think about whether you'll want a video later or not.

I'm sure I'm forgetting something, but a place, food/drink, some facilitator, photographer, music.  Any other must-haves?

Favors?  We burned cds (this was before mp3 players) for our music and it worked pretty well.  If it had been in the budget I'd have had live ceremony music. 

 

Thanks for letting us be "part" of your day!  This was fun! 

Oh great, I'll look up that photographer, thanks much!

Congratulations!!! Thursdays are my favourite day of the week!!!

Really?  Why is that?

Because I love the feeling of urgency on the one hand to get things done before the weekend and the adrenalin it gives me on a Thursday and at the same time the anticipation of the weekend being so close. The mix is really like biting into (insert favourite food/drug name) and that only happens to me on Thursdays. Go figure!