Self-sabotage much??!?!?!

Hi all,

First, thanks to all the MFP friends!!!!  i'm on day three and the first 2 days have been eye-opening and not really in a good way. but . . .

first of all, i'm here to say: being in maintenance is 10 times harder than losing!!!!  i've slipped soooooo much!  already crappy eating habits that i didn't change that much at the beginning when i could have, coupled with the fact that it's so EASY to eat crap at this stage!  so . . .  yesterday i was thrilled b/c i had (1) managed t pick up and then not buy chocolate cream eggs at 50% off at CVS!  YAYAAYAAYAAYAYAY!  Only healthy-for-me eating up 'til them.  good on protein for a change.  snacks when i got home were sliced mangoes and then a 100 cal beef jerky bag.  so far so good.  partner worked until 9:00 and i finally just said, screw this, i'm gonna eat (i don't cook AT ALL) and had left-over from going out citrus salad with Oscar Mayer chicken added in.  pulled out the rice chips i had bought in a frenzy at lunch time, had one, told myself that i wasn't really hungry, which i wasn't and to wait 1/2 an hour and see if i was actually hungry (which i wasn't).  around 11:30 (my bad time) i decided to have 1/2 a think thin bar b/c i wanted something sweet (note, not hungry, just craving), ate that.  20 mins later, partner having gone to bed, i went for the chips. 

now i was absolutely not hungry after that 1/2 protein bar, at the very least, and i ate anyway!  epic fail!  stupid self sabotage!  i did write it down.  that's a victory.  and i'm treating today like a new day to succeed which it s.  but to ave another 1600 cal day when i started to well -- SUCKS!!!!!!!!

Cautionary tale, folks!  you're never too far out to screw up and it's EASIER!!!!!  Onward! 

Hi Anninva,

First of all, hugs.  Take a deep breath.  I've been following your progress and I'm very sorry that you're having such a hard time.    I'm in maintenance too and I agree that if you don't build those good habits at the beginning, it just makes it so much the harder down the line. 

I was wondering if you knew why you're experiencing all these cravings....?  I know the bad habits are there, but what do you think is causing them?  Usually, when I eat compulsively, it's because I'm bored or lonely or frustrated or angry or something....For me, the eating is usually a just symptom of a problem (or an unacknowledged emotion) that is entirely unrelated to food.  So when something is bugging me, I eat when I'm not hungry (I eat mindlessly too).

I just thought I'd throw this out there as something to think about.  I hope things calm down for you soon, because I know it's hard to eat mindfully when you're not in the right headspace.  I'll be thinking about you today and sending you good vibes.

Fiona

Ann, yes, maintenance is harder than losing. We have to learn to find our own paths. There is no one set ideal way for every one of us to maintain. So, this is tricky territory. I was reminded in a post a few days ago made by Elina that maintenance looks really no different from the weight loss stage EXCEPT that we should be adding a few hundred extra CLEAN, HEALTHY calories to our days to stop the weight loss.

Maybe you have read my posts and know that I have been able to identify some of my trigger foods in maintenance. I'm actually grateful for that because I didn't really understand how much of a trigger these foods truly were. So say I want a cookie. I have to have an exit plan to eat the cookie so I only eat my planned ONE cookie. IF I don't have a plan, I am likely to have 5 or 10 cookies if I have access to them. This is good to know about myself.

LIke you, I have been a boredom eater for years. Boredom eating turned me into an afternoon and evening grazer. To help eradicate that behavior I have now added a full meal into my day in the later afternoon sometime around 4:00 pm - before working out. Anyhow, this might work for you, too.

Two months ago I was at my surgeon led support group and he mentioned that if you are not in your goal range and are not happy with your weight, you need to stop being in maintenance and go back into the WL mode. That was eye opening for me. Maintenance is not an arrival point. It's flexible. That's how I think about it now. Currently, I'm in WL mode until I get back to exactly where I want to be. Sure, it's only a few pounds, but I know myself well enough that if I don't take care of it now the extra pounds could quickly go up to an extra 15 or 20 and then I'd be pretty upset.

I had also thought of getting to goal and entering maintenance as an arrival point. In the front of my head I knew that wasn't true. Yet, I had a deeper belief, a truth, if you will, that once I got to goal the diet was over. IT was that old thinking and the belief system that had been in place my entire life taking hold again.  It took me some deep work and some help from a successful vet to help me see this about myself. Maybe you hold a similar truth for yourself.

Dieting is hard. We all know that. What we don't anticipate is how hard maintenance can be. We dont' get the recognition for maintaining our weight the way we do for losing it. We are generally so motivated to lose the weight and are so goal oriented and driven. Yet, when we get to maintenance the drive wanes, the goals fade and we seem to be left with our old habits and behaviors creeping back in.

You my friend are at a cross road. You have a choice to make. (Well, you've already made it in my eyes.) You can let the old behaviors take hold or you can get redirected and find ways to maintain your weight that are goal driven and rewarding. One of my new goals for maintenance is to get down to 17% body fat. It's not a weight goal at all. I can stay my current weight and do this, but to do it I must eat well and exercise. Having this goal keeps me on track. I don't have a time frame in which it must be done but, it's something I am striving for.

My last exercise goal was do be able to do an 11 minute mile on the elliptical. I did it. Now, I'm trying to get under an 11 minute mile without decreasing the intensity. Haven't done it yet. IT's hard, but it's a goal and it keeps me exercising.

My other big goal is that I will fit into all my summer clothes from last summer. I no longer have various sizes in my closet like I used to. The only clothes I have are the clothes I bought that fit me at goal. To know I will fit in them means I have to monitor my eating and weigh every day.

I am right where you are. I am considering this first year of maintenance a year of learning and testing. I have been far from perfect, but I have learned a lot about myself and who I am in regard to food. I really wouldn't want to change how its' gone for me. I am not one who learns from being perfect. I truly learn from making mistakes, analyzing those mistakes and then making deeply personal choices on how to modify the behaviors that are no longer working for me. It also helps to really sit with and decide whether my old truths are serving me well any longer.

Obviously, your post struck a cord with me. Sorry that it turned out to be a novella, but I guess I had a lot to say.

You can do this. We can do it together.