9 Months post op - Monthly numbers, photos (including skin) for the curious

What a ride it's been.  I'm 9 months post op today.  I wouldn't change it for anything.  It's been easier in some ways than I thought, but it's definitely not easy.  I haven't been perfect, but I've done pretty damn well.  I'm fighting my demons, and most days I feel like I'm winning.  Month 9 finally brought a decrease in my weight loss.  I really ramped up my exercise this month, though, and I can actually see definition in my arms already.  This is an NSV I didn't even think of - bc my body fat is so much less than other times I've really ramped up my exercise, I'm already really seeing the results.  It's very nice to have that when the scale isn't being terribly rewarding.  It's also amazing to have so much energy, to not get out of breath running, to feel relatively light on my feet doing kickboxing instead of like a lumbering penguin (admittedly the last time I was kickboxing, I was 7 months pregnant so that had a lot to do with it).  Some of my favorite NSVs so far are my wedding ring finally fitting again, and now it's too big.  The towel thing still continues to surprise me.  I never realized that our towels are enormous.  Being thinner has made me pretty high maintenance, which is more of who I am.  I actually want to do my makeup, wear accessories, do my hair, look as good as I can instead of running around in a sports bra, tshirt & yoga pants (although I still do that most days bc I work from home and exercise 5-6 days a week).  I got asked to be a before & after for my surgeon's website, and I'm going to do it.  I find I don't have much shame anymore.  That's not always the case, some days my inner middle school fat girl comes out and taunts me endlessly, but MOST DAYS I feel tremendously proud of myself.  I'm still 10 pounds above my revised goal, but I'm over 100% EWL.  I've never been this thin.  I wasn't even this thin when I was bulimic, 14 years old and 5'4.  It's mind boggling most days.  When I can really feel it, when I strip away the negativity, I actually feel SMALL. 

Some stats - I wear a size 4 in most dresses & tops (I'm apparently on the smallish boned side, who knew?), I wear a small in most tops, I wear a 6 in jeans.  My BMI is 23.2.  I'm 5'6, 32 years old.  I didn't lose much hair, but I have a ton of hair so that actually wasn't a concern.  I have lost 125 pounds from my surgeon's start weight, and yes, I have extra skin. A lot of it is from being pregnant.  The only surprise extra skin is my inner thighs.  The tops are pretty unsightly in my opinion.  But, you know what?  Who gives a ****  I'd rather have deflated skin than drag around a whole other person on my body.  Luckily my arms have fared pretty well.  I am posting a photo of my stomach (it's like a coming out party!) so you can get idea of the meltedness of it.  I do intend on getting a lower body lift, BA/BL next year.  The thigh lift is still up for debate.  And again, I will stress this - if I didn't have the money for plastics, it would be fine.  My extra skin is a badge of honor.  Sure, I gained all that weight, I let myself be that unhealthy, I stuck my head in the sand, BUT I did something about it.  I'm doing something about it every day.  THAT is who I am.  I am strong, I am proactive, I am trying my damnedest to be the best version of myself that I can be.  FOR ME.  For my daughter, for my family.  I am the mother who models good behavior & positive self talk for her daughter.  I am the mother who wants to pose in photos with my beautiful daughter.  I am the mother who will take my daughter to swim lessons and know we are both beautiful for who we are.  I had this surgery primarily for her, and I am the mother I want to be bc of it. 

Edit: Monthly numbers:

M1: 20lbs, M2: 19lbs, M3: 12lbs, M4: 14lbs, M5: 9.2lbs, M6: 9.6lbs, M7: 9.6lbs, M8: 10.8lbs, M9: 6.5lbs

Pre-op (hiding behind my daughter, this is actually one of the only photos of me pre-op)

4.5 months post op

4th of July - I love this photo bc my hubs (who is never insecure) is insecure about it bc he's sticking out his stomach to hold onto our little bean and he said, "You look fantastic, but I look pregnant."  I didn't even know he could feel insecure.  LOL

And the skin shot.  This is my post pregnancy, post 125 pound weight loss. 

Deena, you have done amazingly well. Brava! You were always beautiful and now you are hot and beautiful. You look great, badge of honor skin and all. If I were you I would definitely have plastics. You are young and have a long time to enjoy the results of all your efforts. You have a great attitude about how to handle things for the long haul and you will do great in maintenance. Keep up the good work and congratulations girlfriend, my kindred spirit!

My hubs is really supportive of my desire to have plastics, which is insane to me bc he is extremely practical and quite cheap.  I bru**** off that it's because he wants me to have bigger boobs, but I know it's bc he knows how hard I've worked and that I really feel it's the next step.  I'm scared to death of more surgery, but I have quite a few months to warm to the idea :)

Xoxo, friend :)

HAHA the boobs are the thing my husband is upset I will be losing... 

Breastfeeding wrecked my chest completely, so I think hubs is looking forward to a return to their former relative glory :)

Great and inspiring pictures!!!     

I have my surgery scheduled for the 25th and these pictures make me want to do it today! It is so encouraging for newbies, like myself, to look at these pics. To know that by April of next year, I will be posting my own pics gets me pumped up! Thank you so much for sharing!

Todd

My pleasure!  The photos and posts on this site really helped seal the deal for me, although I was a total maniac before the surgery bc I was so afraid.  I hope your surgery & recovery go as well as mine did!

No need for you to hide any longer!  You look fantastic!

Thanks!

Wow, you are beautiful! And tiny! I love this post; it's so positive. You have lost a lot of weight, but gained confidence and strength. I love how you talk about be a positive role model for your daughter.

And I thank you for the skin pic, because you know how curious those of us early on in this journey are. I think you look fabulous. You have a pretty, feminine shape. I have similar stats to your befores, so you are very inspirational to me. Congrats on your success!