My before/after truth

This post is really for pre-op/investigating people who want to know what life is REALLY like post-VSG. 

I'll begin with the ever-frustrating "your experience might be different."  But really--it is.  Everyone is different, and everyone is different at different times, meaning that my reality today may not resemble my reality a year from now.

But for those of you wondering how VSG will change your relationship with food, here goes:

Last Monday, I made a dutch apple pie for a BBQ we hosted.

Pre-op, when half the pie was left after the BBQ (well, half wouldn't have been left b/c I'd have eaten a large piece, so more like 1/4), it would have called my name whenever I was home until over the course of 2-3 days, I'd polished it off.  Never more than a piece at a time, but I'd have let myself have a piece every night, and maybe another if I was home during the day after lunch, until it was gone.  Even if I'd been trying to resist it, I'd have let myself have it, justifying it in some way.  ("if I just eat it, then it won't tempt me any more" or "it's just one piece a day" or "it's a shame to waste it" or whatever other BS I tell myself)

Post-op, I'd still really like to eat the damned pie.  It is delicious, I'm sure, because I made it (not to brag, but I am a great baker) and I used apples we grew on the tree in our back yard.  My son said it was the best apple pie ever and ate 2 pieces (he is 4, so eating 2 pieces of pie is a lot for him).  So far, other than a "test" bite on Monday from my son's pie, I have not had any.  It is Friday, 1 slice is left (thanks to my husband), and I am not eating it, even though I'd like to eat it, even though I'd like to wash the damned pie plate. (Still can't bring myself to throw it out--I have issues--but if I thought I would eat it if I didn't throw it out, it would be in the disposal.)

Some people say your tastes change post-op.  For me, that is sort-of kind-of true.  Greasy foods have lost their appeal.  Super high carb meals have lost their appeal.  This is mainly because I know how I would feel after eating them--sick and bloated.  But I still have my sweet tooth, and I'd still like to indulge.  The difference for me, for now, is that I'm able not to do it.

So if you're wondering if you'll just not care about (insert your food weakness here) post-op, the answer (for me), is that I DO still care.  I still want baked goods.  I still want chocolate (and a chocolate protein shake so does not cut it!).  But I'm able to go without because I have my eye on getting to goal and staying there for the rest of my life.

One real problem for me pre-op was that there was some "special" reason to indulge ALL THE FREAKING TIME.  It seriously became absurd.  I think this is an issue for a lot of people.  "Well, how often do we eat out?"  (too often)  "How often is it X's special day?" (every day is special to someone)  How often am I on vacation? (yes, but if you're on vacation for an entire week that is going to have a BIG impact).  I have to set firm boundaries in this department or I will derail.

In weight loss, I have not allowed myself special days.  (This is not to say I haven't messed up and eaten a spoonfull of peanut butter with m&ms on it when in the midst of raging PMS, but I didn't give myself PERMISSION to do that.)

I've made a deal with myself that, in maintenance, there are 4 days a year I'll let myself indulge:

1.  My birthday.

2.  Christmas.

3.  Valentine's Day OR Mother's Day (my choice)

4.  My anniversary

This works out to about once a quarter that I can eat dessert guilt-free.  When we are in Hawaii next summer, I am going to let myself eat all the fresh tropical fruit I want, because that really is a trip I won't get to take again AND the house we're renting is on a plantation where I can literally walk out, pick fruit, and eat it.  BUT I'm also making sure I stay active on that vacation--hiking, snorkeling, etc.

I can live with that reality.  Food exists to fuel my body.  I really like it when it tastes good.  But "special" foods are for truly "special" days, and those are mine.

Just what I'm thinking about today.  I hope it will help someone else. :)

thank you!! this is great.

Thank you for the insight! My VSG is Thursday! I wondered about those cravings.

Great post!

Excellent "food for thought" and boundaries are a good thing. The last thing we want to do is go out of control again. Pre-Op was total out of control chaos and I really strive to stay in control now. Nobody's perfect but it sure helps to have a plan. Good job!

Deb

That is EXACTLY my wish for the future - I am glad that you posted the idea of planning your "special" days.   

Fresh fruit in Hawaii sounds amazing...

I have it in my mind that I MIGHT let myself have a gluten free cupcake for my birthday (not till March), but ONLY if it's from my very favorite bakery. I will not waste such a rare indulgence on a less desirable bakery. I used to gobble up any gluten free dessert I could find. Not anymore.

Thank you so much for your post, it did really help. Even though I believe what you say, I find it hard to believe that food wont have the same hold on me after surgery that it does before surgery. I have been considering the sleeve, but I am afraid because I cant imagine only being able to eat a tiny amount each day. Less than 1,000 calories sounds like you would be starving yourself. I feel like I will feel deprived and denied. Like the pie, I dont know that I could just make it and look at it, but not have a small slice. FOr me, food is like a drug and I fear that I cannot have just a little bit. I dont drink or smoke so I dont know what else I can turn to when I need something to take away my stress or nerves. I envy you that you made this life changing decision for yourself and you stuck to it! GOod for you, everything in moderation!

 

CHeryl

I could have written your response pre-op, really. I will say I was extremely compliant post-op bc I feared rupturing my staple line. It is harder than you'd think to get in your protein & fluids. Even at 8 1/2 months out I feel like I'm constantly eating or drinking.

My problem with that indulgence schedule is that my birthday, Christmas and anniversary are all within 10 days of each other - lol!