In a Weird Place Right Now

It is so odd that for the amount of advice I dispense that from time to time I find myself in unfamiliar territory. You would think that at a year out from surgery I would have been through just about everything. I seem to be in an odd place right now and I have not figured out the cause yet. Could be the new old job and old habits associated with this place trying to poke through but since reporting my overeating incident last week I have done it like 3 other times over the weekend and this morning while in line at the drug store I had an overwhelming urge to buy a donut that was in the case next to me in the checkout (way to go marketing guys) or to buy some real candy. I did not do either but the desire to do so was very very strong. In the past year I have been extremely good at ignoring those and they have not come up in a very long time. So why now all of the sudden. 

I did not get much sleep last night and I have reported in the past that lack of sleep does certainly cause some extra hunger but this wasn't hunger it was old school "I want to eat some freaking candy". I am thankful I found the strength stick to my guns but I did not like how strong the urge was. Maybe it was my body saying I didn't get enough sleep I want some cheap and easy energy. I hope. I hope it was as simple as that and not a whole new battle brewing in my future.

Just to re-iterate the war is NEVER over, you have to fight the good fight every single day. You may win battle after battle but never let your guard down because the war is NEVER over.

I hear you loud and clear, Keith.  At a year out, **** is getting real.  I'm trying so hard to stick to my guns but it's been real easy to let the old carb/candy demons back in.  I do better during the week when I'm at work and don't think too much about eating.  Breakfast is still a challenge for me..I just don't like it and usually I want something quick, cheap, and easy (like your said donut).  Most days I just don't eat breakfast which is bad I know but UGH.  Anyway, I can relate is what I'm saying.  Keep on truckin, you can do this!

Thanks! Now eat some damn breakfast! Really is the worst meal to skip, you are not doing your metabolism any favors. I am not a huge fan of breakfast either but I eat it religiously now. Force yourself for 21 days to eat every day no matter what and you will adopt the habit. At least that's the theory.

I know *hangs head in shame*  I'm working on it, I promise!

I buy Quest White Chocolate Raspberry bars by the box-load and one of those is almost always my breakfast.  It is "sweet" with Stevia, tastes amazing and has the 20 grams protein, net carbs are low....I am always running around like a chicken with my head cut off and they have been lifesavers.  For me, it is the perfect on-the-go breakfast.  Grab and go!

Thanks for posting this.  Sometimes we do need reminding that this will be a war we will have to fight our entire lives.

Congrats on not giving in to the donut or the candy!! 

Do you think some of it is complacency?  I know it is for me.  I'm working very, very hard on the mental aspect of this because no, I do not DESERVE the cookie or cupcake or scone.  I DESERVE to be healthy, active, happy, but food shouldn't play into that equation.  There is a huge part of me that thinks that since I've done so well, I have size 4 skinny jeans and some other random size 2s (vanity sized) that I can, of course, eat that crap.  It's a stupid and unhealthy mindset for me, and it's what got me to surgery.  I honestly think the battles are much harder now.  I have a lot of good habits built up over the months, my autopilot is strong and healthy, but it is much more difficult to say no now.  I didn't have cravings for months and months, and now I do.  It's got nothing to do with carbs, and everything to do with being thin and that "fuck it" attitude.  So, even if none of this rings true to you, I get where you're coming from.  So big hugs.  This is a war for life, and I'll keep fighting as hard as I can during these battles.  I haven't won them all, but I'm doing OK.  So are you.  We just have to keep fighting.

Yes I believe some of it is complacency and relying a bit too heavily on that auto pilot. Mine is pretty good but I think sometimes even the autopilot falls asleep. Fortunately for now I am catching it most of the time. I think I just need to renew my original spirit. It is not for lack of motivation. I have 20+ lbs to go and I REALLY want it off.  Right now I am leaning on the lack of sleep theory I am so tired I can barely get a sentence out of my mouth without tripping over it so maybe it is affecting me in other ways.

I'm a 9 hours of sleep a night girl.  There is NOTHING, not stress, not anxiety, not celebration, that sends me catapulting into a stack of donuts or candy like lack of sleep.  I think that's a perfectly valid theory.  It also makes sense that your body would be craving junk for the easy energy of it.  I hope you get some good, solid rest soon. 

My kids are 2 and 4.  My two year old kept me up all night for the first year...I gained 100 lbs, going from 160 lbs to 260 lbs.  He woke on the hour, every two hours, to eat/nurse.  I have a demanding 50 hour a week job in high-tech sales for a start-up.  I was a walking ZOMBIE....food helped me survive....so getting the sleep thing figured out is really important IMHO.  I am actually now going for a sleep study since my son created really bad sleep habits for me, even 18 months after he started sleeping through the night.

Good luck!