Following my EGD, I screwed up.

I feel you! I drink 2 protein shakes, have 2 other meals, and occasionally have a snack (usually to tip me over the protein edge), and sometimes even that is hard!

I probably need to get a handle on my 'baggage' surrounding food. I could write a book about my weirdo messed up family and the oh so wonderful way they dealt with my obesity (pro tip: fat shaming doesn't really work - if it worked, we would ALL be thin).

I can't imagine a therapist trying to get around inside my head. I'm too screwed up for that even, I think.

That is the most horrendeous pre EGD prep I have ever heard of. I could eat up until the night before normally and drink. I had mine done without anesthesia and apart from a little gagging it was fine and not painful. You suffered there, honey!! And I agree with everyone else - beating yourself up really doesn't serve any positive purpose. Just turn the page and move on. After your surgery you will feel very differently and you will not ruin your new tummy. It willbe just fine. You are a smart chick...and a funny one! You will do great!!