Soon to be a two-VSG household!

My hubby, who was a huge doubting Thomas when I started this journey back in 2012, has jumped through most of the hoops and has been approved for VSG.  Looks like his surgery will be April 11th.  He's done a great job with his pre-op diet and is down to lightweight status;  only has 90-95 lbs. to lose to get to a normal BMI.  He has the same problem as I do with being a compulsive eater.  He's lost 100 lbs. at least twice in his life but always gained it all back.  He admits that before my surgery he'd pretty much given up and decided he'd spend the rest of his life as a fatty.  

I have conflicting emotions over all of this.  Yes, I'm happy he's getting his dream and that we'll be on the same "plan", as he calls it.  Yes, I'm glad that he'll be healthier and hopefully have his health issues resolved (high b/p meds, CPAP, joint pain).  But...

The insecure kid in me worries that all the positive attention he'll get for losing weight will go to his head (he admits it did in the past, before he knew me).   The compulsive eater in me knows I won't have my eating buddy around for those times I don't want to do this food thing "perfectly".  And he's already set me up as his VSG "guru" -- he's more than a little neurotic so the questions post-op are going to be WAY worse than what I've been peppered with the last six months.  And that has been pretty intense 

So, did any other two-sleeve couples deal with these issues?  Are there are other things I should be concerned about that might pop up?  I'd love to hear your experiences - thanks!  

Well, I'm only 3 weeks out and my hubby is only 4 days out so I haven't dealt with any of those issues yet! It has crossed my mind that he might be getting more attention down the road and I'm not sure how I'd deal with it! But I figure he will have to deal with that to! ;)  I'm just taking it day by day. I think our relationship would have fared much worse had he not decided to do it with me. I want him to be on my same plan. I want him to be healthy with me! :)

Thanks for responding!  I think part of my husband's enthusiasm for getting the surgery is that he doesn't want to get "left behind" as I find I can do more and more.  Which I can totally understand.  Maybe his getting the surgery next month will be the kick in the pants I need to get off these last few pounds 

I think it's awesome that you are both on this journey together at the time you are.  You can both experience the victories and any setbacks together and help keep each other motivated & encouraged.  Congrats to you both!

I'm so happy for your husband!  I wish I had some answers for your questions and concerns but I don't.  I've not been there.  But I do think that he loves you as you love him...and your success and attention didn't diminish that for him and I can believe that his will for you.  In fact, I think this will make you all stronger.  Consider all of the things you'll do as a couple that he might not have had the energy for before! 

I have a question for you.  I'd love for my husband to consider this surgery.  I would say he has about 140 excess lbs.  Before your success, when he was still in doubt, was he one of those people who you would never have guessed would "break down" and go for it?  My husband has lost weight in the past, as most of us have, but has always put it back on.  He's also pretty afraid of needles so it's hard for me to imagine him signing up for an elective surgery.  But my hopes are so high!  I'm not saying anything to him about it because it's such a sensitive issue and I don't want him to think that I feel less for him as I shrink.  Anyway, just curious about your husbands transformation from doubter to doer...  :-)

Thank you for your kind words, I appreciate it! 

Actually, the hubs had talked about WLS years ago, long before I ever considered it.  But he'd seen his sister ruin two previous WLS and didn't believe that anyone could really do it successfully.  This was years before VSG was an option.  He is pretty scared of all things medical and always imagines the worst happening so I was surprised when he said he wanted to do it.  He was very surprised at how fast my surgery was (in and out in under 45 minutes), was impressed with my super-fast recovery time and the relative ease that I adapted to the new way of living/eating.  I think all of this, including going with me to support group meetings, convinced him that he could be successful with this.  

It took some planning on our part because his insurance has a limit on the amount it will pay for WLS.  So we had to get him on my insurance (yeah, we're paying for double coverage on him this year) and then waited until the new med flex enrollment period for his work kicked in.  Doing that made it financially feasible for us to swing another surgery.  

Frankly, I am looking forward to buying him new clothes!  The man is hopeless in a department store so I'll have carte blanche :-) 

My DD was sleeved 3 years ago and at the time she tried to talk him into doing it at the same time as they had met their high deductible with her surgery.

Just today she let me know he has brought up the desire to have the surgery.  So yes he was transformed from doubter to want to be doer.  Now they just have to figure out the $$$ as they don't have much and sucky insurance.

Wishing them all the best in figuring it out - it's worth it! 

John and I aren't married but it's really nice to have him on this journey now.  I was not around to see or hear the compliments he got when he first lost the weight, but ahem, I'm sure he got them because he looks damn good.  (sorry, I just had to say out loud what I feel is real, swoon!) 

The further it seems we get out of surgery, the major attention and comments on how great we look will start to slow down considerably.  I personally don't like a lot of attention and I've very insecure.  I will have moments where I feel that I look pretty good but I have a hard time accepting compliments, I always have.

If you have a strong relationship with your husband then I'm sure you will both be ok, even if he is eating up all the attention.  He should be told he's doing a great job & progressing well with his VSG journey.  I think this can be a major plus for you to have each other for support as you are both going thru the same journey, you are only just a little further ahead in the game.

As far as missing your "eating buddy", he will always be your eating buddy and now in the best way possible.  You both can keep each other in check.  His health issues will get better and you both can live your life the best way possible.

You have been a shining example to your hubby Tracy.  Be so very proud of that!  I'm excited that you both are about to start this journey together.  Actually, you both already have!!!!  Keep us posted as he gets closer to surgery. 

xo 

Thanks, Jenn!   You and John are great examples of how this surgery can dramatically change lives for the better.  

Let's keep our fingers crossed that Mike's surgery goes as smoothly as mine did....because he is the BIGGEST baby when it comes to pain