Despite my age, my skin is not a fan of my weight loss...

I think it is pretty confusing for kids to hear "grown up problems." My son is 5, and one morning he got on the scale, "read" the number - before he understood how to put the numbers together, and said, "I need to lose weight!" We explained that he did not need to lose weight, that he's healthy and growing, and his body is just right. He exclaimed that we were all trying to lose weight, so we talked about health and what it means for our health to be overweight or obese. When we talked about it, he suddenly understood we were talking about health, but before that, to him it was just about "reading" the scale. To him weight has never been about body image or size, so we've been somewhat successful in shielding him from the "fat-shaming" that we do to ourselves naked in the mirror.

I feel your pain, I too am having body image problems.  I'm the thinnest I've ever been since my teens but I was not prepared for the loss of collagen.  I'm 45 and I have none of the collagen padding that comes with a youthful body.  When I look at my face I just see hollow eyes and cheek bones and jaw that protrudes out too much.  My tail bone is constantly bruised from the lack of fat there.  Am I too thin?  No!  I just have lost all the padding that you have when you are young.  I have old man butt (old, wrinkly and sagging).  My breasts are empty.  Size wise in a bra I'm fine with them but once they unroll from the bra I can't stand them.  It's true I had less body image problems when I was fat.  My answer is to give it time.  This is such a change from who I feel I am that I feel like I'm in  strangers body.  I have to make peace with this new one.  I can say that the last two months have seen a drastic change in the tightening of my skin.  I'm still not sure about surgery.  I'm still scared something will go wrong again and it will be another 6 months of complications.  Maybe I'll get over that I don't know.  

In regards to trying to feel sexy with your husband it's going to take time but Kelly suggested to me I go lingerie shopping when I complained about my sex drive.  I think part of my problem is menopause and I've started estrogen but the more I think about it the more I see this as a great idea (I rejected the idea off the cuff).  Finding something that compliments my body and covers the parts I am having the most trouble with.  Who says you have to get totally naked?  If it makes you feel better to have clothes on then keep some on.  This isn't about your husband, it's about convincing yourself you are attractive.  Now to find the guts to go into a lingerie shop full of 20 year olds with perfect bodies...ugh!

I find it interesting how the body image problems can be worse after the weight loss. I think, at least for me, it has at least partly to do with my hopes and dreams of finally not being fat, that I just imagined this "perfect" version of myself despite knowing the real truth of what I'd done to my body. I do have a large amount of love for what the excess skin means, and with that in mind, I am able to be less depressed and more proud/happy to think about it from that perspective. But there is no amount of proud of myself that can make me feel sexy when I see the saggy pouchiness of my belly. 

I think part of the problem is we build up a wall because of the way we are treated and the way we feel about ourselves as fat people.  Because we don't gain weight overnight (in reference to feeling like I lost it all overnight) we have time to keep building the wall of protection.  Losing weight I expected to feel and look great so had no idea how to protect myself for the imperfection of rapid weight loss of a large amount of fat.  Part of me knew it was going to be a problem because I have sabotaged diets being fearful of how my body would look "eventually".  I had a friend lose a lot of weight and the result was very similar to what I have left now.  

I guess there is hope in plastic surgery but I would like to go in to that stage feeling good about myself no matter how I look on the outside.  I need to find a new love for myself...if I could manage it when I was fat I'm sure I can manage it now.

I'm right there with you!