3 year surgiversary

3 year “surgiversary” was yesterday. I debated on posting, but decided what the hell! You see I’m one of those “success stories” gone bad! I had absolutely no complications, no issues getting liquid or protein in and transitioned to real food with relative east. (One set back at about 6 or 8 weeks out when I went back to full liquids for a day or two just because eating was making me feel stressed.) I made it to my goal in 7 months and 11 days. I had drive, determination and followed a very good food plan. I didn’t have a single stall along the way and dropped on average 10 pounds per month until the last two months when the weight loss slowed. I maintained easily until about 14 months out.

Here’s the gone bad part: I have had regain. Earth shattering regain, no, but enough to make me have to buy some larger pants and some suit coats are too snug. My regain progression was on an emotional level, I think fairly normal for an obese person: mild gain, panic, hardcore weight loss effort, a feeling of “whew”, followed by mental berating. Then another binge followed a few weeks later and so on and so on. Eventually I had mental collapse on the weight loss efforts, became depressed, then adopted a what’s the point attitude and ate enough crap to gain 20+ pounds. (This is on top of the intentional 12 to 15 pounds I put back on due to being “too skinny”.) Eventually, I had the old feelings of self-loathing, embarrassment, and shame.

I spent the better part of last summer (when not dealing with pregnant dogs and puppies) reading many books about obesity. (Two favorites were Fat Chance and Fitness Confidential.) What I came away with was the strong belief that obesity is truly a disease. It is a disease that is barely understood, true, but science has learned enough in the past 10 years to make the battle against obesity easier. I understand insulin resistance and leptin resistance and why some of us crave sugar and refined carbs more when we’ve had just a little compared to when we abstain altogether. The best thing I learned was, in simple terms, being fat was not my failure of character.

What we now know about nutrition and its effect on the human biology teamed with my VSG gives me pretty damn good odds at keeping obesity at bay for a lifetime. It’s been a matter of putting what I did to lose the weight into practice once again, now that I have the understanding of how it all works. Now I understand the science behind the food plan I used. I have found websites and experts to support this way of eating, Some call it LCHF (low carb, high fat), while others call it NSNF (no sugar, no flour), while still some other programs state it as HPLC (high protein, low carb). What they all have in common is they support a NO REFINED CARBS and NO SUGAR lifestyle.

I’m also back working with a weight loss doctor and being monitored weekly. This was a big decision for me, but the right one. I need the accountability at this point in my life.

Three years ago I had a secret hope that VSG was the cure. VSG was the cure, but not the way I had secretly hoped. If it wasn’t for VSG I would not have come to the understanding how deeply rooted my food issues truly are. I would not have taken the time to read and learn and experiment and ponder the issue of obesity. Without VSG I would still be morbidly obese. Without VSG I would not have the support of my friends here on OH - Frisco, Elina, Cece, Linda, Diane, Jubjub, just to name a few.

A few things I’ve gleaned over the past three years:

It’s what you put in your mouth that counts, not how much you exercise. You can lose a ton of weight without exercise.

Exercise for health and fitness, not for weight loss. A good workout has no impact on a poor eating plan.

There is scientific evidence why LCHP works for weight loss.

Everyone’s weight loss journey is his own.

I don’t do moderation well.

Reaching goal weight is when the work really begins.

Forever is a long time. I focus on today when it comes to food. “No ice cream today, Dev. You can have it tomorrow.” Then hopefully, when tomorrow comes I do the same. Sort of like an alcoholic, I suppose, but it works for me.

Yep, a long-winded post, and frankly I could write more.... I wanted to share what my life is at three years out.

I am happy, have no regrets and have actually reached a point where I see my regain as a blessing. Without it I wouldn’t have the awareness I have today. I guess it just takes some of us a little longer to catch on!

I "followed" you from before both of us had our surgeries. I mirrored your positive and balanced attitude, loved your insightful and honest posts. I cheered you on when you reached goal and was inspired to meet you at the finish line. So I read chapters 1, 2 and 3 of your journey. Now I want to read chapter 4: How Devon kicks regain to the curb. I want to see it out in print. Soon!!! I believe in happy endings and the happily ever after. And I know you can do it. Its not a success story gone bad! So stop that! Get busy with that next chapter now!

Hey Julia,

Thanks for the kind words! I am still a success, but my silver needs a little polishing! My edges are just a bit tarnished! LOL!

I am so on track, I'm loving it. My hope is that I will be posting by Christmas my first goal is accomplished. Then it will be a simple 9 pounds to be at the next goal. After that it's all icing on the cake. The doctor wants me to totally disregard the number on the scale and use my body fat percentage as my final guide. With all my weirdness about scale number and bmi this should work very well for me.

Glad I came on today (been away a long while) to hear your success story.  I still think you are a success.  Why? Because I too believe obesity is a disease/addiction and the fact that you are still working at battling it and not just giving in to it means that you are successfully dealing with your addiction.  The weight may be a struggle forever but as long as you continue to learn and grow and not completely give up then you are successful.

Thank you for sharing your story and not passing your surgiversary by :)

I believe, too, that I'm a success. the gone bad is a bit tongue in cheek. My point is that this journey - even when you "have it" - can get dicey. And you're right, the weight might be a struggle my entire life, but if I keep on with focusing on today, it'll be okay.

I am cheering for you because I loved reading every word of this post and I'm so proud of your 3-year accomplishment.   Not only your weight loss success but all the emotional, spiritual and intellectual growth as a result of this process.    

I'm so happy I've got to know you through this forum - thanks for sticking around!  

Aw, back at ya!

You are right - the emotional growth and awareness of who I am with food has been eye opening and freeing. I have to say that Elina put me on the right track right at the very beginning of my journey by challenging me to really think about what triggered my poor eating choices. From that point on it's been a continual process.

I have to thank you, too, for your help when I was looking at OA as an option. While I didn't go that route, it did open my eyes to a new way of thinking about food and food addiction and was my first venture into a life that includes some food abstinence. While I don't believe that I will be sugar free my entire life, I do think that my life is much better with a severely limited amount of processed and refined sugar (well, refined foods in general).

Thanks!

Thank you so much for your honesty and transparency. I know this process will not be all buttercups and roses and, to be quite honest, the long-term struggle scares the snot out of me. People, including my surgeon, have asked me if i was 'excited' and I have really struggled with that, as I view this step as simply one that is absolutely necessary if I am to get my health under control. 

I am encouraged by your journey-the ups and downs, where you have fallen and what you have learned along the way. In my mind, you are a fantastic success story-because you recognize the problems and challenges and form a plan to overcome them. Keep strong and keep pushing forward.

This really is a journey. There are straight-a-ways and hills to climb and to sail down. Weight is never stable - that much we know. It's how much we allow it to fluctuate that can matter. I don't think of myself even as fat at this point. I'm thick, but not fat.

I think knowing your own truth (because yours will be different from mine or the next guy's) is very important.

I think you should be excited. VSG is the start of a new life that is pretty freakin' awesome. My life is sooooo much better because I chose to go down this road. I know yours will be, too!