Connie, I agree with previous posters, I am not adopted, but i am in the process to foster/adopt with the county i live in. One of the requirements was to attend 12 weeks worth of classes on all different topics, and each speaker or social worker was under the impression that it is best for the children involved for you to be honest with them, at an AGE appropriate level. Make the words like adopted, birthmom etc...everyday language, and start as soon as you can. as for the request for books, i know of a company called Tapestry books which has a whole catalog dedicated to adoption issues. Many of the books are geared towards non-family adoptions, and dealing with issues such as interracial or out of country adoptions, but there are many books related to just explaining or introducing the topic to the young ones.. they do have a website of the same name at tapestry books dot com.. i hope it helps! good luck with everything.

I always knew I was adopted. In fact my daddy used to call me his "blue eyed 'dopted daughter". It made me feel very special. We also had a book called "The Adopted Family". It was originally published in the 1950's but the message is still the same today. I've searched and bought the book off ebay for friends who were adopting. I'm not sure a professional is necessary. Just a warm and loving family discussion - use some of the great advice given to you here - and let her ask any questions she wants and answer honestly. Then, if you see that she needs professional counseling you can seek it. Right now she just needs to know that you love her and that her birth mommy loved her so much that she wanted her to be raised by parents who were able to care for her at the time. My mom always said that she was always supposed to be my mommy - God just had to use another ladies' tummy to grow me because hers was broken. Children are very understanding. But, I'd definitely say sooner rather than later is the best time to tell her. Hugs, Rona Everybody's Bari-Godmother

Hello Connie! I totally agree with the last messenger (I forgot her name). I have many friends that are adopted and the ones that didn't know until later - because their parents "didn't think they were ready", suffered the most. They felt cheated and lied too. Some of my other friend new from like 3 or 4 yrs of age. I have a friend who's child is in a similar position with her birth son, who is adopted by her aunt. They explained everything from the beginning and he's now 13 and thriving. He can see for himself that his birth mother is not the best person for him. My husband and I have a different situation, we have 3 children together (girl-8, girl- 6, and boy-4) and then sdopted a 15 yr old about 5 years ago. He's now 20 and in college. Good Luck!

Here is the situation we have adopted my niece, she is now 4yrs. old, we are the only family she knows. However, she does see her birthparents as aunt and uncle. I feel she knows something or something has been said to her (by her actions) after being around them. Should we tell her now? Should we send her to a professional first, then tell her? How do we explain why she was adopted? I'm so confused and just want to do the right thing for her, I want to be honest with her-we was just planning on waiting a few more years, however with this change I feel we probably shouldn't wait, any advice would be appreciated. Also if you know of any books etc., to explain this to her it would help greatly.

I feel it is God's plan for me to work with the department of social services as a foster and adoptive parent. I have been working with them for the past 5 years. I have adopted 2 girls they were foster children fom the ages of 8 and 13. Now they are 13 and 18. The 18 year old no longer lives with us but we have been blessed with a 2 and 4 year old. I am a single parent and my life revolves around these children. My 13 and 4 year olds are special needs and my 2 year old is to smart for her own good. I have had 11 different foster children in the past 5 years and hope to adopt the 2 I have now. I have had them for 11 months. They keep me busy busy busy. I am looking forward to my surgery so I can get a nap