We too adopted after fostering first. We were originally going to adopt through a private agency, but a couple of things changed our minds. One main thing was that there will always be families waiting and wanting babies & children from private agencies. There are so many babies and children in the foster care system that are desperate for families and not enough families to go around. We started off fostering new born babies, and adopted our daughter when she was 17 months. We also get a subsidy for her until she leaves education which really helps out, although we would still have adopted her anyway. It can be heart wrenching at times, when the babies have grown with you but then move on, if you take that route of fostering first, but it's such a wonderful feeling knowing that you have given that child the best start they can have in life! In Texas you can also register just to adopt and not foster if you don't feel able to foster. Even though adoption is such an emotive issue, I urge you to consider all ways to adopt before making any financial commitments. I am so glad we didn't pay out $20,000 with the risk of no child at the end of it. Let us know how you get on Ruth

My surgery date got moved up to April 14th. That is pretty exciting. I only have 13 more days to go until I start the weight loss journey. The only advice I give you as the adoptive mom, is when and if Millie decided to find her birth family. If her blood mother wants to meet you, do it. No matter how you may feel about the blood mother do it. My mom has been wanting to meet Joe's adoptive mom and she wont have a thing to do with my mother. It is very stressfull on Joe and our mom. Jennifer

Hi Jennifer Congratuations on becoming a sister! This is such an encouraging story. I have an adopted daughter, after fostering her for 17 months from birth. She is now 5 years old. She has 2 brothers who we could not adopt (due to other circustances), so she knows she has 2 brothers out there. She talks about them and we talk about how when she is older, if she wants to, trying to find them. You hear so many stories of reunions going wrong, that it is good to hear your story - the good and bad bits. It must have been a bit of a roller coaster ride emotionally. I'm not sure how I'll handle it if and when Millie decides to find her birth family. I hope I'll be OK and supportive. I'm waiting for my WLS on 31st May, a month behind you. I hope yours goes well. It's the start of a new life for both of us. I think the journey you've already been on (reuniting with your brother) and the mix of emotions it brought serves as a reminder to us. Our weight loss journey will be a mixture of emotions - good and bad, but the end result will be worth it!!! Let me know how you get on. I'd love to share this journey with you. Ruth

My husband Ron and I fostered and adopted one of our foster babies when she was 17 months while we were living in Texas. We have now moved to the UK - I am British, but I really miss fostering. It's not the same system over here. One day we hope to return to foster and hopefully adopt again. What's the system like where you live? Blessings to all your extended family Ruth

Kathy, I was adopted at birth, and my adoptive parents look nothing like me. They are all strong norweigian stock. Tall, thin, blond. I am tall, heavy & red-haired. The way our family dealt with nosey strangers was to either blame my red hair on my aunt's hubby (that gave them more to think about) or they'd say I was hand picked & a blessing to the family. All that matters is that you had the heart to do something as wonderful as take her into your life. Besdes, they are strangers, who cares what they think. Dana