I'm Going To Run...

Hi Everyone, I'm thinking maybe I'm a little crazy, but I have registered to participate in an 8K (very close to 5 miles) run on the 4th of July. I have been running on the treadmill a lot lately, and I really enjoy it. I can do 5+ miles on my treadmill, but I have never run that far a distance outdoors (or on regular ground) before. I know it's much tougher because I breath heavier after just a mile outdoors. My goals are #1 - to actually go through with it and participate; #2 - to finish the entire course; #3 - to actually run the entire course without stopping to walk (even if it's at a snail's pace!); and #4 - to NOT finish in last place. If I don't attain the last two, that's all right. I'm doing it to prove to myself that I can, not to be the best or to win anything. I'm excited but nervous because I've never ever done anything like this. Last year at this time, I probably couldn't have run 5 feet, let alone 5 miles. I used to have panic attacks before Gym class because I knew there would be running involved, and I simply couldn't do it. I still feel like the fat girl who is afraid to look foolish in front of people. I tried talking to my boyfriend about it, but he just doesn't understand because he never knew me as a fat person, and while he is not rail thin himself, he has no clue what it's like to be in an obese body like the one I used to be in and still feel like I'm in sometimes. I pretty much got a tongue lashing from him for questioning myself and not having self-confidence. He's probably right, but I can't help feeling insecure. I know I can do it because we have 2 1/2 hours to finish, and I know I could walk that no problem if I was unable to run, but somehow I'm still thinking I'm going to stand out like a sore thumb and make a fool of myself. But, I am going to try my hardest to accomplish the goals I listed above. I know I will kick myself afterwards if I back out. My parents are even going to come and cheer me on. Why am I feeling like such a chicken ?? Thanks for listening!! Take Care, Tanja

Tanja, good for you! You will accomplish all of the goals you listed with NO problem! I just participated in a 3 mile walk last month, and it felt great! I was only 4 months out and NEVER could have walked 3 miles last year! I am thinking about participating in the run next year, let me know how you like it! Good luck! Karyn

Hey Karyn, Thanks a lot for the encouragement. It's great to know that you participated in the walk and had a good time doing it; makes me more excited to do the run and more certain that I can do it. I'll let you know how it goes. Take Care, Tanja

Tanja I'm so excited for you!! I would LOVE to be able to do something like that. I feel the same way you do about sticking out like a sore thumb..however tonight at the gym I was watching some of the "skinny" people taking an aerobics class (one I'm dying to try) and I was surprised to see how many people were out of step and one lady even tripped on her own feet. So I was thinking I couldn't do any worse than that and I might actually give it a whirl. I bet there are plenty of people doing the race that feel the same as you. I bet you'll be so proud of yourself for doing this. I know it's a HUGE step but I say GO FOR IT GIRL!! We are all behind and SUPPORT you 110%!! What a great WOW moment it will be for you!! Please let us know what you decide!! I'm SOOOOO proud of you!!! What a great inspiration for us all to get off our butts and move our bodies!!! GREAT BIG HUGS, Jamie

Hi Jamie, Thanks so much for the great support; it makes it a little bit easier to go out and do something like this when I know there are people like you out there who understand what I'm thinking and feeling. I think you should go to that aerobics class; I'm sure you'll be really good at it. What you said about the "skinny" people kind of reminded of that article I posted about the size 4 obese woman. It doesn't matter what body we're in as long as we're healthy - right? Why should we hold ourselves back from things we really want to do out of fear of looking silly? Maybe that's what we're used to doing, but I guess we have to stop that sometime - huh? Good luck with that class because I know you're going to do it and do GREAT! Take Care, Tanja

Tanja, That is so cool.Best of luck I will be thinking of you on the 4th.What an awesome goal to reach....Dawn

Dawn, I have to say you look so much different (and younger) than in your previous message board photo. You are doing so well! I understand what you mentioned in your "wow moment" post about stepping out of your comfort zone. I hope when you told that sales lady how much you weighed 8 months ago that you said it with pride because you should be very proud. I find it's very natural to gravitate towards the plus-sized section of every store when I don't need to, but I hope you get used to shopping regular sizes because it really is a treat (and definitely less expensive!) - at least for me. I don't care what the store is (I actually go to a lot of thrift stores); it's just nice to be able to pick out just about anything and have it fit. I even still get my Lane Bryant and Just My Size Catalogs in the mail and look through them without even thinking. I find cute clothes, but I can't order any of them because they are too big. It's bizarre to me. But like you with your Avenue shopping experience, this run is a huge step outside of my comfort zone, and only we, who have been obese, can understand that I think. I really appreciate your support and will be doing this race for all of us!! Take Care, Tanja

Tanja, Thank you so much for your kind words.With this surgery you never know if you will look younger or older ,so thanks for saying I look younger next Monday I turn 41 so I will take all the younger I can get . I think I said it to the saleswoman like I was in shock because I was. Now I am totally okay with it all but then I really threw me.I was so nice to hear I was not the only one who has felt this way.None of my friends understood why this upset me.I think its something you have to go though to understand and I am sure glad I have the support I find here.I love thrift store shopping also I love getting a good deal.Thanks for running this race for all of us.I will be with you in spirt on the 4th cheering you on.You have come so far and should be so proud....Dawn

Wow Tanja, Good for you! I have complete faith that you will make your goal. And, I just have to say, you look amazing! I did not even recognize your picture. Congratulations on doing such a great job! Carrie

Hi Carrie, It's nice to come here and get support from people who understand where I've come from. Even if I don't always have the faith in myself, I can get it from the people on this board! Thanks for saying you didn't recognize me; I think that's one of the best compliments a person can receive - LOL. I guess you know you're doing something right if you are unrecognizable (for the better, of course ) - huh?? You are doing so well, yourself, and it is so much fun to see how people change and grow throughout this process. Take Care, Tanja