Whatever Happened To...

Sipele???? She was so funny. I miss her. I haven't seen to much of Ruth lately either... And Miss Willby has disappeared altogether.....

hey wls chk, I HAVE disappeared. Nobody wants to hear my story of failure and dispair. Man, I sound like a broken record!!! I'm the first person to say "if youre not happy CHANGE!!!!" Well, Gee, now i see how stupid I've been all these years. its not all that easy to change. Even if you hate it and its killing you (slowly but surely). I'm a failure at this GBS thingy. And PLEASE!!!!!! I'm not looking for sympathy or advice!!!!! Just saying that the WLS doesnt work for everyone. Its directly related to how much you work AT it. I make myself feel really bad when I get on OH. com and read all of the success stories. The voice in my head (well, ONE of the voices in my head (humming the theme from the "Twilight Zone" here)..............tells me that this is just ONE MORE thing in my life that I've failed at. I had major surgery to correct my problem and it doesnt mean a damned thing to me. (man!! I really AM crazy) My heart breaks every day (while I'm shoveling in the food of course) that I cant make this work for me. OMGODDESS!!!!! Is there anyone out there who is failing too? Cuz I feel pretty alone right now. And again...............I'm NOT looking for sympathy or advice, just a shoulder to cry on. (and maybe a buddy to eat a donut with) SEE????? Theres no hope for me.........I will always be the fat clown. On a lighter note............I haven killed myself yet...............so maybe things are looking up GIRL!!!! I know youre praying for death right about now and sincerely wished you hadnt even asked the question.......I miss you guys but feel like I just cannot contribute a damned thing that would help anyone. willby fatterthaniamnowifthatsatallpossiblesoon

Hi Wilby, You don't know me, but you sound like a very neat lady. I am struggling big time with food issues now too. My biggest problem is I'm not sure if I really want to give it up. Funny huh? I went from 306 to 204 without WLS, but now I am back to 237 and I kinda don't care, but I kinda do. If it wasn't for the diabetes, I'm pretty sure I would gain it all back. Anyway, the real purpose of this posting is to let you know you are not alone!! So keep coming back. Ann

Ann, Thank you for taking the time to say that. it means a lot to me. I know just how you feel about wanting to give up but then not wanting to give up. When I'm being a big fat immature baby and letting my food addiction run my life.....I dont even stop to think about the health aspects of this extra weight..............its just "EAT IT NOW!!!!! Thanks again! willby

NO I would never pray for death ... I am far too busy praying my surgeon will receive his accredidation so I can get the surgery before this fat kills me. Wishing you all the best............

Sorry Wls chk....................I know that for someone who is desperately wanting this surgery and cant get it(yet)............for someone who was lucky enough to get it to complain and cry probably pi**ed you off big time. I didnt mean to be so insensitive.........sometimes my mouth gets away from me. willby

Hey Willby, You might not be able to follow the WLS program, but you well NEVER be a failure. You struggle, your human, and you have mountains to climb, but you are not a failure. You are one of the reasons that I was able to go thru this with support. Because of you I met so many wonderful life long friends. I came back to this board because of you. I am one person. There are so many out there that you helped that you will never know about, so please realize the difference you made in so many lives. You helped me, and I helped you and we have to live our lives now, but you were successful in so many other ways that you can still be a big help to others. You are not insensitive, you are honest. I am not following the program every day like I should now and I struggle not to gain. I still have 50 lbs or so to lose and I know that will not happen. Maybe that makes me a failure too, I dont know. I accept the fact that I will never be normal. I have to struggle every single day not to gain weight back. I am ok sometimes and gain other times. We are all human. Please stop beating up on yourself so much. You have been an angel to me and to a lot of others. and Soos