Lurker!

I am usually a lurker on this board and others. Let me introduce myself. I had lap RNY on 1/27/06. Starting weight:360, DOS: 331, Today:269. I am having a hard time with some things and need to ramble a little! So, for those of you that take the time to read this, Thanks! I was an active member on another board and was very hurt by some things that were said and done, so I have not been active on any board since then (about 2 months). I truely miss the closeness I felt, only to find out that it was all false. The closest support group to me is about a 30 min. drive on a good day, so I don't attend those. I just feel a real need lately for some closeness of those who understand what I am going throug. I am struggling with alot of emotions lately. I am not sure why. It's hard for me to be happy about my weight loss. I have lost a total of 91 lb.s but I don't feel it's enough.I am still extremely obese and that saddens me. My health is much better, but I just can't get excited. Anyone else feel this way? Thanks for listening, Rambling Leeanne

HI Leeanne, I totally undertand! I had my surgery in Aug of 2005, and I have lost about 150 pounds. Still, even looking at pictures, and buying smaller clothes, I feel huge. I feel bigger than I did before surgery a lot of times. When I go to the store, I feel like people are thinking to themselves "Does she know how fat she is?" I can ride roller coasters now, and go on the swings at the park with my son, and that makes me happy, but I am wondering if I am always going to be the fattest person wherever I go. I hope not. I read somewhere that it takes at least a year after weight loss for your brain to catch up with your body, as far as perception goes. I am hoping that is true, because, most days, I don't feel so good about myself. Good luck to you, and I wish you the best. Carrie

Carrie, Thanks for you response. I just looked at your profile and I am not just saying this, you look great. You have done so well. Isn't it sad that we can't enjoy it? I hope for both of our sakes our brains catch up! Leeanne

LeeAnne, go to those In-Person Support meetings, as the on-line groups are good & encouraging. Their not as personable as in person. You'll also make local friends there that will be Positive & supportive behind the scenes. I travel 45 minutes to two, an hour to another and recently another 20 minutes to yet making it 4 support groups monthly. Plus several Support Forums but mostly OH ones. Keep moving, Mike

LeeAnne, I also feel that you should attend your in-person support groups. I have to drive 1 hr to get to mine, but, I really feel it is worth it. You may also want to check out some counseling. This is such a hard thing to go through. People just assume we are thrilled with no problems once we are losing weight. There is so much more to it. Then, when the weight loss stops and you really haven't gotten where you want, it can be really hard. That is where I am. I have lost 150 lbs, but, have bounced around back and forth with the same few lbs for a couple of months now. I still need to lose at least 40 lbs, with 70 being the ideal. It scares me to think I might not do it. I'm exercising to beat the band, but, have a hard time eating the right amounts. Anyway, I've been thinking of seeking out some counseling now. Good luck to both of us! Lori 384/240/199

Hi LeeAnne, Sorry to hear you had a bad expearince on that other board. I think it is wonderful that you are reaching out. It's the hardest part but now that you have done it don't stop... any time you are feeling the need to talk about your thoughts and feelings JUST DO IT GIRL! We are all here for one another. I agree with Lori you need to try to make time for those meetings. My friend who has already had her surgery had to drive a long way to go one, I have to tell you each time she came back she was "recharged" and she got lots of tips and suggestion on things to keep her motovated. I am praying for you and hope you can keep us posted on how you are doing!