GRR! Non-stop feasting making me insane!

I could use some advice. We have family visiting this weekend, so of course my sister has gone all out in cooking for them. It has been one feast after another, which I get to watch them enjoy while I eat my Optifast. I thought about excusing myself while they ate, but figured it would be rude. It particularly annoyed me this morning when my nephew kept raving about how delicious the French toast was (and I don't even like French toast). I got so grumpy that I ate two Optifast bars in a row and didn't even realize it until after I ate them. Now I have to be sure to subtract one serving from the rest of today's allotment. This concerns me. Once I have surgery in August, I will have the same issues because I won't be able to feast on all the foods served at family gatherings. The CA family wants us to come there for Christmas this year, and I'm trying to think of a way to get out of it rather than try to deal with the nonstop feasting that is sure to occur. I need advice. How do you handle these things as a post-op? Thanks! Kix

What I found at less than to weeks post-op is I'm not really hungry and I enjoy watching other people eat! When I first started my two week pre-op liquid deit it was very hard, but after a few days it just got easier and easier. When you are at a point you can eat again I think the main thing you'll need to do is prepare healthy dishes you can have, no one will ever know the differance. No one tied my hands and forced me to eat so much I gained all this weight and I'm not going to make everyone feel uncomfortable about eating around me. I just want to have funand enjoy life. Janet

OOO Kix I wish I had an easy answer for you. I'm not sure this will ever change. I think we will always wish we could feast on our favorite things just like everyone else. Since surgery I had my moments and I get grumpy and mean and just plain nasty to be around. I still cook for my family (hubby and 3 kiddos) and they still eat like they did before I had my surgery. Somedays are harder than others for me but you just have to keep reminding yourself why you can't have those foods anymore. You have to remember all the aches, pains, embarrassment, stares, not fitting and not being able to participate in things. NONE of the food being served is worth going through that again! If there is something that you absolutely want than just have a little taste. I know (trust me I KNOW..) it's easier said than done to just have a small smidgeon of something but it will give you the taste and that's all you really need. My nutritionist said sometimes that little taste will take the craving away completely. I can remember being on countless diets and not allowing myself to have certain foods and then I just craved them like a madwoman. I just had to HAVE PB & J or chips or ice cream..I would sit and daydream about the taste and how it would feel in my mouth. BUT if you allow yourself a small, tiny little taste your not forbidding yourself from having it. After surgery things will look and smell WONDERFUL!! And for the first week or so you'll probably be dealing with A LOT of head hunger. The difference between diets and the surgery is when you taste that little small smackeral it won't taste as good. I swear there are sooooo many things that I've just drooled over and then when I took a small taste it just didn't do it for me anymore. It's so strange because your belly will NOT be hungry (or mine wasn't) but your head plays dirty tricks on you and you'd swear you could sit down and eat just like before. It will never happen! Some people mourn their food before surgery and some after. I was an after person. I just didn't realize how hard the head hunger would be after. I'm glad it's subsided for the most part now and if it does pop up it usually doesn't last long. You just have to tell yourself that nothing...nothing in this world will make you feel as good as losing this weight will. I'll be 4 months out on August 7th and I don't eat much because I'm just never hungry. Now there are times when I DO get hungry but those times are rare. You can imagine in a family with a 9 yr old, 7 yr old and 4 yr old that we make frequent trips to the fast food joints...well I've found things that I CAN have and they usually last me several days. Wendy's chilli for example..lived on the stuff and it was really pretty good. I can get side salad and chilli now but can't eat a lot of either..I did eat mostly salad so I saved the chilli and had it for dinner and lunch the next day..a SMALL chillli!! Burger King has the most wonderful grilled chicken salads and they last about two meals or so because salad doesn't keep too well. I make chilli at home, grilled chicken, turkey burgers..delish I put lots of spices and things in them and let them sit all day and then make the patties, soups I've only tried tomato but they are easy to go down and satisfying..you just have to take your time and find what works for you. So you see where you have to give up somethings you can make do and guess what else?? I'm a chocoholic or used to be. Right after surgery I was upset because I thought I'd have to give it up and then chocolate flavored things made me sick BUT my husband came home with some sugar free (not calorie free or fat free so you have to be REALLY careful) chocolate candy the other night. I can have one piece and be satisfied. There are sugar free jellos, popsicles, ice cream, and they all give you that sense of having a little treat. I won't even try to tell you this will be easy because I'm still struggling with the emotional and physical changes going on. Everyone tells me it does get easier and I'm going to keep on keepin' on so I can see that for myself. Trust me when I say this is the best decision I could have ever made for myself. I'm planning a big dinner with my neighbors next Saturday. It was my idea and I'm making fried chicken, mashed potatoes, homemade mac and cheese, biscuits, collard greens so you see I can still cook the food and be around it but just not eat it. SOMETIMES just being around it and cooking it makes me feel sick to my stomach so I'm not even tempted to take a bite. I know that when I go home things will get harder because all of my family lives in Ga and Md and I'm here in Hawaii without my favorite restaurants and family so we'll see how I handle it. I keep telling myself to find something on the menu that I can have. I think most places do so it's just a matter of finding it and trying it. Wow sorry I got really long winded on this one. I just wanted you to know that maybe this is a good thing...you can train your mind for what life will be like after surgery. I think people who mourn their food loss before surgery are way ahead of the game and with that being said YOU are WAY ahead of the game!! You've done such a fantastic job with your pre surgery weight loss..it's incredible. I have NO DOUBT in my mind that you will be a VERY successful WLS patient!!! GREAT BIG HUGS, Jamie

Hi Kix, Girl..I have never been on Obtifast or any restrictive diet such as yours. My insurance co. required a 6-month medically supervised diet..which I gained and lost the same 4 pounds the whole 6 months. My surgeon didn't require it. He said that he felt that the patient was stressed enough to go through with the surgury. That being said, I still admire you so much for going through all of this pre-op. Eating post-op is sooo different than eating pre-op. First of all, remember that you won't have the hunger that you have now..which for me, makes things easier. Sometimes I'll put a portion of food on my small plate (I try to trick my mind into thinking I am eating lots) Well, I get frustrated because I want more..but my tummy won't let me..one bite more..and I end up paying for it I get upset, but then I have to tell myself,"Ginger...isn't this the reason you had wls in the first place??? to feel full longer so you won't eat more???" duh. I agree with Jamie. If you take a tiny bite of something, sometimes that is all you need. It totally satisfys your craving..and you don't feel so left out. I totally have turned into a "picky eater" I visualize a skinny model and how she eats a salad for instance..pick-pick-pick instaead of shovel-shovel-shovel! I think by the time the holidays are here you will be far enough out from surgery that you will know what you can eat and how much. You will realize success and how to keep your new tummy happy! HugsGinger

Bless your heart Kix, I can totally relate to how you fell with the food. After I had surgery I was totally on the liquid thing and you know boy does that get old quick. But had no choice and we had four funerals back to back after I was out of WLS about four weeks if that. And I couldnt avoid them because to were very close family. One was my mother in law and the other was a foster parent. So there I sat with my jello or yogurt and smiling like I had a huge secret to tell lol... But the fact was I was so miserable but wasnt hungry. All the food that people bring in is a junkies best dream. And the churches even brought vans full. I cant say what that does to you when you cant have it and just smell it ugh... I always ate even when wasnt hungry so that was a huge part of getting over the old marge. She still is alive in me and I have to say hold up here sister...... Because eatting was my best friend and now its not. And for a ****ry mile, everone knows I had surgery so you know there looking at ya to see "what" a \"WLS\" person eats. Lol so just hang in there and it wont always be like that. But I cant lie... I have good days and bad days where I get so ill I need to be in a locked room alone. I just enjoyed eatting like a person smoking or cracking lol.... So its a head thing like everything else is...Hang in there and that "before" surgery feeling will be long gone and you will be in a new moment...Hugs Marge

Kix, Once you are a few months out, I think it is okay to have a spoonful of everything just to get the taste. It does seem to help me. That total deprivation thing just doesn't work for me. I know you have to go through this now, but, it will be worth it! I wish food wasn't so important in our lives. The great news is, once you've had your surgery, it will be awhile before you feel like eating at all. The appetite comes back, as it has with me, but, enjoy it while it lasts! Lori