Anyone having trouble with unsupportive family members and getting approved?

Hi, I am new here, I have been trying to get approved for over a year...one big stumbling block has been my PPO--if I cannot get my husband on board and agree to the surgery, they will yet again refuse me, he won't even educate himself on wls--just says he is sure it will kill me--my Mom who cares for my little girl is the same way--any suggestions? The PPO has turned me down in the past because I do not have alot of co-morbidities, but my Mom has diabetes 2 and has had 2 heart attacks--I just have asthma, but weigh close to 300 lbs.--No pneumonia in over 3 years. thank you;-)

Hi Christina, and welcome! Unsupportive family is tough - my mom freaked out when I first told her, said it was a big mistake. She has come a long way and now supports me, but only after we had a long discussion with the facts laid out. I'm sure part of it is fear on their part, it is scary for them, the thought of that kind of loss. I was lucky that my family has come along pretty easily. Is the insurance company actually saying they won't approve you if your husband won't say yes? If that's true, then that's ridiculous and just plain wrong. And the fact that they denied you due to you co-mordities is just plain crazy - there is no rhyme or reason to their insanity! I wish I could help more but I'm in the process too so my experience is in the limited way. There are many wise people here who I'm sure will give you some terrific advice - I just wanted to lend my support. I TOTALLY understand the struggle, it's been for over a year for me too. But I keep thinking, if it wasn't a struggle I wouldn't appreciate it as much when it finally happens. And it will... for both of us.

Hi Christina! Unfornuately I can write a book on both topics. I have been waiting and fighting for YEARS... My DH was so unsupportive... he was always buying junk food and telling me how I was going to die on the table etc.... I am EXTREMELY determined and kept on no matter what he did... he would make me miss appts (I don't drive) and kept me up all night before my psych eval etc....Would volunteer to work on days I had appts so he couldn't take me and I'd have to reschedule..Embarrassed me at the seminars... starting fights in the dr's office while I was waiting to be seen.. and on and on and on. When he seen I wouldn't be deterred he stepped up his efforts and finally admitted he was afraid if I lost weight I could replace him. I took this as a total insult and reminded him I got him as a SMO and there are plenty of other fish in the sea... I also pointed out that if he didn't get on board he would be the first 250lbs of ugly fat I would be rid of.... so the fighting and sabotaging continued for a long time. ODDLY ENOUGH He got a job working with some post ops and couldn't believe their success and how well they were and how he couldn't even tell they'd had surgery (APPARENTLY they looked like NORMAL ppl LOL) so by seeing them and what they ate and that they were all still married he got on board... NEVER thought that would happen. Of course now the insurance company has me in a holding pattern.. GRRRRRRRRR My sister actually said to me "If YOU get it done and they don't kill you and it doesn't hurt ... then maybe I'll get it done too" (getting that warm and fuzzy feeling?) When my DH was being so difficult the surgeon did tell me that he wouldn't do the surgery with him being so unsupportive!!! So I brought my SIL in with me and proved I had one hell of a cheering team thru her and friends and he dropped the hubby issue right then and there. Bottom line this is your life you're fighting for. I have been called selfish and obsessed and I don't care LOL YES I am greedy and selfish if that's what it means to have the desire to live a healthy and normal life... and I will fight to the death to get it. Hang in there.. don't give up and take care of yourself. We always put everyone else first ... It's our turn!!!!!!!!