Reality check this morning

This morning I had to go to a funeral of a guy I grew up with ... and that was sad enough ... but he had a rather unhappy life and that made things even worse. Also, his family (several of which are health care professionals) feels his health was permanently compromised and that his multiple illnesses can all be directly tracked back to Gastric Bypass he had done back in the early 80s, and (who knows?) they may just be right. His health struggles *did* all seem to start escalating around the same time. That was almost in the pioneering days of the surgery ... certainly long before the procedure(s) had undergone the adaptations to make them safer like today ... so it's hard to know if Jay's problems *were* a result of his particular surgery or not. What is certain is that he's really battled to live during the last decade and a half, and has been on dialysis the last 4 years. And this weekend, his body just finally gave out. He was 61 years old and weighed about 105 lbs when he died and looked like a skeleton. It truly broke my heart to imagine all he's been living through, and I'm glad he's now out of the misery he lived in and in a Better Place. It was extremely difficult to listen to these people I've known all my life talk about how Gastric Bypass was so detrimental to him. They're vehemently against it and overly critical of it. And there I sat feeling so well as a result of it. It made several people in the gathering uncomfortable, I could tell. Jay apparently had an interval of time after his surgery where he felt well and good, and then it all started to go bad for him. He just never got the better of it after that. For me it was just all very sobering and sad, and the whole situation brought home to me just how easily and quickly life can tilt the wrong way after WLS ... and how (no matter how "normal" we're feeling) we've always got to stay on top of our medical situations, take our supplements, drink our water and monitor our well-being(s). Sorry, not a happy post, but maybe it's at least one that will serve to remind us all of the seriousness of what we've undertaken in having WLS. Life can spin out of control for even the healthiest person, but whether we like it or not, as the result of our surgeries, our health can go akilter much more quickly than someone who hasn't had this surgery. We have to always be mindful, no matter how great we're feeling, to monitor our health and follow our programs. Thanks for letting me share that. ((((hugs to all))) Myra G

Myra, I send my condolences on your loss. The Wls of today is radically different than it was in the 80s. Nevertheless, I agree with you that we must be diligent in our own health care. It isn't easy, but it sure beats all the health problems I've had and am slowly but surely getting rid of. I know for a fact that without the surgery, I'd have been dead within 5 years. This surgery has been my life saver, despite the problems I've had. Thanks for the reminder to take good care of ourselves...we deserve it! *hugsnluv* Phyl

Morning Phyl, I was in the same condition ... unable to walk without a cane, becoming house-bound, and likely not to live more than a few more years. I wanted to point that out to the "nay-sayers" in the group, but felt their grief was probably fueling their vehemence, so I stayed quiet. The surgery has been a life-saver for me too ... it's returned my life to me ... so I'm definitely on the PRO side for WLS. It was just sad for Jay to think how much better it would have been for him to have had today's type surgery, to consider all his suffering over the years, and how "there, but for the Grace of God, go I" ... you know? It made me thankful and aware. (((hugs back))) Myra G

Myra, I am very sorry for the loss of your dear friend. I appreciate your courage and thoughtfulness at using this as an opportunity to remind us that it's now our life-long duty to take proper care of ourselves. Although we can still develop health problems, we owe it to ourselves and our familes to work hard at staying healthy. {{{{{Hugs}}}}} and peace to you in your time of grief - Kellie

Hey Myra, Im very sorry for the loss of your friend. And yes, death really does open our eyes on things and sometimes its to late. But for you its not. Its terrible how people judge one operation and send it down the river after problems occur. Its not everybody that respondes to that but I see there problem with it I guess. But just think. Years from now this WLS of ours will be considered ole school. And new and better will come out. But ive learned a long time ago that you cant listen to some people and let it bother you. I know it did and made you rather uncomfortable im sure. But you will always have someone come up to you from time to time and tell there stories of this or that horrors or how they gained all there weight back. So thats where we come in and smile and let it go..... Because we know why we had this surgery and if you are like me, I didnt take it very lightly. I knew my days were numbered being the size I was.... Sorry again Marge

so sorry to hear about the loss of your friend. remembering there's a better place awaiting us all is the best comfort i generally find at a time like this. please know you're in my thoughts and prayers. and thanks for the reality reminder. hugs dorthe

Thanks Wonderful Friends, I think I mainly posted this because I do feel so healthy right now ... and it was difficult to see how someone else's journey had turned out so horrendous. It didn't make me question my decision to have surgery in any way, so much as reawaken me to the fact that, while my life has settled into a normal routine now and isn't as disrupted as it was in the first months after surgery, and I feel normal outside, my insides are not normal and will always need that extra ounce of protection. It all just made me even more determined to make my life better and to follow my WLS program guidelines. As Marge says, there will always be detractors about WLS, and I tend to let what they say "go in one ear and out the other", because I KNOW the benefits of it, but these are people I care about and it's been a sad situation. ((hugs and thanks for listening)) Myra G

Well, being as fat as I was just about killed me, so I couldn't do any worse having surgery. Would it hae been better to stay fat? Absolutely not. I think doctors are so much more aware now of what we need to do to stay healthy, that I'm just not going to worry about it. For example, I realized yesterday that I'm losing track of how much fluid I'm drinking, and I'm supposed to drink 64 oz per day. This morning, I made a log and now check off each 1 oz portion as I drink it. Silly? Yes, but I don't want to get dehydrated. Thanks for the reminder to keep on top of the things we need to do to stay healthy. Kix

Myra, I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your friend. A person I worked with for many years had a similar experience and ended up dying at 51 years old of liver failure. They did attribute it to her weight loss surgery that she did in the 80s. She, did not, however, follow any of the rules and did gain all of her weight back. I do think that can kill you. I meet the occassional WLS patient who has stopped taking their vitamins and worrying about how much water they drink and have started drinking carbonation, basically doing everything wrong...I think they are asking for trouble. I don't want to come off as a saint, because, I've definitely not eaten as strictly as I should, but, I do the basics...I have to do the basics...we all do!!!! Hugs, Lori