Feeling unsettled

I guess I'm just looking for people to tell me I'm normal. Maybe I'm not, but last night I just sobbed and told my husband that I wanted to go back to how I used to be. I didn't even care if it meant I didn't live as long. Those feelings are short lived but it's rare that I read stuff like that from people after the surgery. It seems like all I ever read is about how great things are and how much it's changed their lives. I know I'm only three weeks out, but someone please tell me this goes away and I won't always feel this way. I tell myself that all the time, but it always helps if others confirm those feelings. Any words of wisdom? Kelle

Hey Kelle, How odd that this subject is coming up today. I am offically seven months out of surgery today and I have to say..... It is something that noone can amagine to prepare you for. I was very fortunate to have very minor problems after surgery. The top one being nausea ugh. It was unbearable for a while. Even brought back pregnant day feelings lol... And other than that the hair loss. I cant speak for anyone else but can tell you that you are on one emotional roller coaster for sure after surgery. It is alot to get prepared for alone, not to mention the after surgery life. I had very emotional days where even my grown kids were preaching at me about how I was acting at times lol... It is very hard. But I will tell you now.... Not one day have I ever .... Ever.... Wished I hadnt of had the surgery. I know you arent out that long but it does get better as time passes by.No, its doesnt bring you fame, wealth, or major happiness. You have to do that on your on.But it can give you something that noone else can and thats your health and living a lot longer and being with your family. And im all but sure you will look back on those days of mixed emotions and wonder why you even felt like that..... That I can promise. Just get used to the new you and give yourself time to adjust. I have met some unreal people on here that are there for me when im whinning or having a wow moment or just listening to me rattle on about nothing lol... And im sure we all will do the same for you. So just hang in there girl and get ready for a major ride..... Hugs Marge

It's totally normal to be having a bit of depression at this point. Many post ops experience this, no matter how badly you wanted the surgery. It should pass shortly as you begin to adjust to the new way of eating, etc. If it doesn't, don't be afraid to ask your doc for anti-depressant meds. Your body has undergone a radical change and sometimes it takes the brain a little while to catch up and deal with the stress of the changes. Nothing to be ashamed of--completely normal. Congrats on your surgery. In a month or two you will be seeing the weight loss and posting to us about how thrilled you are with your surgery and how the wow moments are amazing--just you watch!!

KELLE, Honey, you are OH SO NORMAL!!! I go went thru that at least once a week for the entire first month. My dr put me on Lexapro and it has been a godsend. It just takes the edge off of my emotions without making me feel drugged up or drowsey. We are going thru HUGE changes in our life. Most skinny ppl I know couldnt go thru all the things we have gone thru for this. I know the things that help me the most are getting in lots of protein...I try for 75-100 grams a day (keeps our heart healthy and our hair from falling out), exercise (I try to walk everyday and do Sit and be Fit on my cable), and take all my vitamins. As for why we all talk about the wow moments and not the down days is probably becouse after our first month out we have 50 wow moments a month. They just tend to far out weight the few ruff days we had in the beginning. One of my first WOW moments was being able to reach all my body parts when I showered for the first time after surgery all by myself. Before surgery I couldnt do that. Every shower I have now I get so excited when I can shave my legs without having to sit down...or save one leg and save the other one for the next day that Ive forgot about those days I was depressed becouse I was having a hard time getting my protein in Part of it comes in time. As u find out what products u like and what products u can tolerate. I know for me Profect was the protein I had to go with. It made getting protein so simple. Next time u feel like an emotional breakdown. Get out a sugar free popsicle and come get online and talk to us....u can email me anytime. Mariah

Kelly, I'm going to tell you, you are completely normal. When I arrived home, I was in alot of pain. I remember thinking what have I done to myself. I was so scared I made a huge mistake. I started to walk a little bit several times a day. I was tired of the liquids and in a big depression. then at about 3 weeks out I had my first appt. I was down 37 lbs. I felt like I was walking on air. I started becomming more determend to walk and get my protein and water in. My next appt I was down 18 more lbs. now I felt like a different person. I am becomming healthy. I have a long way to go. The road isn't easy, but for the first time I have a fighting chance. I'm now down about 70 lbs. I walk a little over a mile just about every day. I'm on my way. It does get better. When the weight starts comming off, You will start getting more and more energy. I still have a hard time with eating some foods. getting in protein ect. but I will keep trying. Good luck to you, And know you will feel better soon. Donna

Hi Kelle!! I am a perpetual pre-op but I have to add to the comments. I know a very special lady who has lost over 450lbs!!!! And she told me way back when I began this journey... I would regret my decision.. I thought she was nuts and she told me about her story. A week or 2 after her surgery she got out of bed and was hungry and then she just got MAD at everyone who could still eat and mad at herself because she couldn't. Her whole family was in the house and she screamed at everyone of them for "allowing" her to have the surgery!!! She went into a full blown depression that lasted for a few weeks. BUT it passed and she looks back now and laughs about it. Like I said she went on to lose over 450lbs. She walks at least 8 miles every day and she's about 5 yrs post op. I've seen on other boards where if someone says something negative in regards to the surgery sometimes people will come out and tell them they shouldn't be negative on here etc.. So maybe this is why you've only seen the good happy go lucky side. It's not all roses and sunshine but ... it's on the way!!!!! So the moral of this story is to hang in there... depression is normal.. you are mourning food which was probably a dear friend... and you're changing habits you've had for a LIFETIME!!! When I was diagnosed with diabetes I cried when we drove past 7-11 because I couldn't have Icees anymore.. Now I am used to the idea and it doesn't bother me. (ok it doesn't make me cry anymore ) I've sworn off of pop and that will make me cry and I've been bubbleless and pepsi free for nearly a year... (I am betting somethings will be like that for all of us) Popular opinion is you're NORMAL.. like all of us here

Kelle, The first few months after surgery are the toughest. You're dealing with trying to get in enough protein and water, plus you're recovering from major surgery. You have a thousand different, complex emotions running through your head. So you're overwhelmed. You feel like you'll never be able to eat like a normal person again. You wonder what the heck was I thinking? You're mourning the loss of a dear, dear friend - food has been our solace and companion for many years, and now that friendship has been forever changed. It's all complicated and challenging, but you can get through it one day at at time. I can tell you that it DOES get better. Your incisions and surgery wounds heal. Your pouch will do the normal stretching so you can eat enough food to nourish your body, and drink enough fluids to keep yourself hydrated. You will be able to eat "regular" foods again, although that may take a while. You will be able to dine out in a restaurant, although you'll probably need a doggie bag! You will be able to do physical tasks - walking, working out, playing with your kids, or dogs, or whatever you have - that were hard or impossible before your surgery. Trust me that you won't always feel this way. Just take things one day at a time and you too will thrive Kellie

It really does get better! One thing that was great for me is you feel better at any given weight going down as you did at that weight while you were gaining. You don't have to lose a lot of weight to feel better phsically. The little things make a big difference. For me it was easier times in the bathroom and getting up off the couch easier. Showering easier. The food issue improve slow and steady. Like another poster said, anti-deppressants can be a God send. I think they should be in the water. We are truly care and we do know what it is like to be SMO and to be on this journey. Come to us with your concerns anytime. Hugs, Loris

Kelle, "That will go away!!!!" I had a very bumpy first eight-weeks post-op ... and I felt I'd done utterly the wrong thing and longed to feel "normal" again. After about 3 months, things settled into a routine and seemed easier, and by 5 months I was feeling so much better physically I wondered how I could EVER have thought I wanted to go back. Now at 17 months post-op, I feel wonderful and life seems pretty darn "normal'. Please just give yourself time and think short-term right now ... try NOT to project how unsettled you feel now toward how you're GOING to be feeling later. It really does get better and better. (((great big Missouri hugs to you!!))) Myra G

At six weeks post-op I know just what your feeling. In fact last night I was miserable and had head hunger, Hubby asked if I had it all to do over would I have the surgery again? My answer was absolutely YES! I know my life is totally different now, I know my brain is always trying to tell me to eat this or eat that, but I can't. I ate anything and everything I wanted for 45 years, now it's time for a change. Part of my problem is I have developed a stricture, and life is no fun when almost every time you eat it all comes back up. I just want to move past this part and on to feeling good most of the time! Hang in there this too shall pass, and we'll all be thinner because of it! Thinking of you! Janet