Introduction, thoughts, questions...

Hi, my name's Sarah, but most people refer to me as read300300 or harvestspirit. Yay for the internet, I guess. I'm 5'8" and about 350-365 pounds. This places my BMI as roughly 53-55. Other pertinent information, I guess, is that I'm 16, a sophmore in college, and the woman that introduced me to this website is Shar Pei Kay (thanks for that.) All the women in my family are obese, even my 4th and 5th cousins, so I guess I was sort of born into it. I have more than a few medical problems, such as Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome, ADD, ampliopia which led to me being blind in my left eye, rather high blood pressure, hypermobile joints, hypersomnia, OCD, panic attacks, long history of depression.... really random things. I'm pretty much nearly done with the preop requirements. All I have left is the pyschological and insurance approval, but once I get the pysch test done, my insurance will give us an answer in 48 hours. I'm looking at gastric bypass, even though this journey started out with me wanting lapband. My weight has always been an issue. As my mother likes to put it, I'm "five foot eight in both directions." It's to the point of where I try not to go anywhere or let people take my picture. I have a friend whose mother says I can't go over to their house becuase I'm so big, and this same friend says I should get a crack addiction instead of surgery. I hate to complain about them, because other than a really strange bout of insensitivity, she's a great friend (*oh, yeah, forgot to put codependency and type-A personality on that above list of problems!!!!) To me, it doesn't really seem right to complain about them. I know other people have to deal with so much worse. And besides, they have their own prejudices, as I'm sure I probably do too. Example: I turn all the magazines at Wal-Mart around if they have a girl on there with a BMI below normal because I think it's wrong for society to push anorexia as an idea of perfection. I'm kind of weird like that. I also have some questions, and I guess those are the point of this post and not so much the introduction and my ranting about whatever. Is there anyone else here who experiences severe joint pain because of their weight? If so, at about what weight does it begin to disappear? It's getting difficult for me to climb stairs, crawl out of bed, stand up, and whatnot. I don't want to let this get worse (one of my reasons for surgery.) Also, have any of you noticed an improved quality of life as your weight drops? It seems like there would be a correlation, but I don't know firsthand. In a way, I'm looking into surgery because I fear things. I fear dying at 20 from a heart attack. I fear having children someday and not being able to be as good a parent as I should because I can't play with them. I fear not being able to leave the world a better, happier place because I can't be out there and a part of it. I fear having only one life and not making it count. I fear a life of addiction to food. Does that make any sense?

welcome to the board.

Thanks!

Welcome Sarah. I just turned 30 this year (wheww was that ever hard to write!) I have three children and before weight loss surgery I weighed in at 297. I stand 5'4 and have been obese my entire life! I had gastric bypass on April 7th of this year after backing out twice several years back. It was a difficult decision right up to the point where they wheeled me into the OR. I wanted to climb off the table right then but before I knew it I was asleep and when I awoke life began all over for me. I'm not going to sugar coat things and say have surgery and your life will be what you've always wanted it to be. Weight is only part of the issue. As obese individuals we have dressed a certain way, lived a ceratin way, thought of ourselves a certain way and after sugery all those things change and you have to figure out a way to deal with it..good or bad...and FOOD cannot play a part in that. Mood swings, mourning food, body changes, saggy skin, exercise, getting sick, not being able to eat sugar, bread, noodles, cheese, meat, or whatever...everyone's body is different. On the up side your life WILL change for the better I promise you. I can do things I could never do before. I jogged home from school with my kids the other day and I wasn't even winded!! Jog..ME ..it was amazing. I started this journey in size TIGHT size 26/28's and TIGHT 30/32's and I have two pair of 16's I can wear, several size 18's and some XL shirts. For the first time in 12 yrs of marriage I weigh less than my husband. I can even bum some of his clothes if I want. I started out at 297 and I'm down to 203. I'm not even 6 months out yet!! My knees hurt and creaked, my lower back CONSTANTLY ached, I was always tired and sweaty, I just couldn't do anything. I was so uncomfortable. In 5 months I have NO back pain, NO knee pain...in fact I can RUN up my stairs!, love life is INCREDIBLE! I'm sorry your having to deal with negative comments from your "friend". I think people make it their mission in life to tell obese people exactly what's on their tiny little minds! It's sickening, it's unfair, and most of all it's WRONG! During this journey you make lose friends but I can say without hesitation you WILL MOST definitely gain some very good ones on this site!! Take it one step at a time, one day at a time and please come and visit with us often we are all here for you during your journey and I'll save a seat on the Loser's Bench for you!! Congratulations on getting most of your pre-op out of the way, sometimes that is the most stressful part. Hugs, Jamie

Wow, thank you so much for this! I was really surprised at the responses I got to this. I am really looking forward to getting through the rest of pre-op and working on my food issues. I know it's going to mean a lot of work, and I'm more than willing to put in the time and effort needed to make sure that this goes as smoothly and is as effective as it can be in my case. The alternative is too scary to think about. I'm really glad that you're doing so well after surgery. It's really very inspiring. Thanks! Sarah

Welcome. When I had surgery I was 5'2" and weighed 344. I had ruined my knee caps from the weight and my knees hurt all the time, so did my back. I waddled when I walked and could barely keep myself clean. I now weigh 192. I walk with a spring in my step and my knees and back don't hurt anymore. I can and do buy cute clothes. I get pedicures and indulge in acrylic nails. I look and feel feminine. I have more energy. WLS doesn't solve our life problems, but it solves or day to day living problems. It doesn't take much weight loss, about 50 pounds, to start feeling a lot better. You have to be commited to drinking lots of water and taking vitamins for life. No excuses. It's a lot cheaper and easier than taking insulin and high blood pressure medicine, which all obese people are at a high risk for. I wish you the very best. Loris

Wow! The stories I'm hearing from this board are really inspiring. I'm so proud of everyone here, and I really do hope that loosing at least some of this extra weight will help my joint problems. It's getting to the point where I can't stand it and if it gets worse, I'm going to need to start getting medications for the pain. I am committed. You have no idea! I've already started adding extra iron and vitamins to my diet preop, so that it will seem natural by the time I get to postop. Water has never really been a problem for me; I down it like it's going out of style!

Hi, I turned 30 this summer and just had surgery. I, too, was in the upper 300's at 16 and had PSOS. I was not ready for this surgery until this year. I was 453 when I decided to have it. Good luck on having it at such a young age. You will have so much more life than I was able too. Shellie

Wow, yeah, I didn't really know that there were people with similar weight histories. I'm really hoping that this goes well and that my quality of life can be improved. I'm willing to do what it takes. I think the enormity of this decision finally hit me a week ago, but I know that this is what's right. I'm not scared to do it, which I think is a majorly important thing. I understand how my life will change, for the most part, and I know I can handle it. Thanks for supporting me; I'm really happy that there is a support system out there. Sorry that this took so long to respond. I've just been shocked by the amount of responses to my post, and I wanted to be able to think about each one before responding. Sarah

Hi Sarah, I'm 45 years old now and had my surgery in May 2005. I started out at 384 and now weigh 235. I'm 5'9". I still have joint pain, but, it is so much better. Now, it only bothers me when I overdo it. I have become addicted to exercise...which is such a weird concept to me. I was so sedate for so many years! So, that is what I mean by overdo it. I pulled out of a 10k AIDS walk yesterday because my knees have been bothering me this week. But, the fact that I could even consider doing a 6 mile walk is so foreign to me. I couldn't walk around the block before this surgery! It is a big commitment and you have to be ready to make the lifestyle changes, but, it is so worth it. When you look at the health issues you are dealing with now, you really have no choice. Well you do, you can get worse or you can get better. You sound like a super smart lady. You will do great. Lori 384/235/199