Introduction, thoughts, questions...
See you in class tomorrow! 
greetings sarah, and welcome to the board. i'm deb, surgery jan. '05, 5'10", 49 yrs old. i'm down 271 lbs. since surgery, changing my bmi from 66 to 28.
your question about improved quality of life has me thinking. my quality of life is absolutely amazingly better! the aspect i'm thinking about is that i've lost significant amounts of weight 2 other times over the years -- and wondering why i failed those times, and why i feel really positive about maintaining this success this time. and i really think alot of it has to do with reading on this message board. the first time i lost a significant amt of weight, i was 21 and thought it was going to just change my life in a lot ways that don't just change cause you've lost lbs. some things change hugely, but it's not like everything that's wrong in your life is going to be fixed. the next time, i was 42 or so, lost 195 lbs., was in total shock about the skin i had! when i lost weight at 21, i didn't see the skin issues. i didn't weigh as much to start with either. but phew, at 42, that skin just didn't have the elasticity to recover from that much stretching. i was appalled. i went to a plastic surgeon, but he just wasn't the right one, i know now. at the time, he just made me feel like i was such a freak -- i thought, well, i'm a freak either way...might as well eat what i want. and regained all and more. i really felt like i was the only one like me.
and that's what i've gotten out of the message board. i don't have that feeling of aloneness - being the only one - now i know there's lots of people out there like me. all ages, all life situations - but all having something in common with me.
so again, welcome to the board. ask us questions, talk to us -- we're happy to tell you about our experiences and share our information. best of luck!
deb
Sarah,
Wow. How insightful you are at 16. You're obviously quite intelligent and MIT sounds exciting. I believe the decision to have WLS is different for everyone. We all get to where we need to be in the time we are supposed to. (I feel that God has a lot to do with that.) I'm 44 and had the surgery a little over 6 weeks ago. I started over 500 lbs and know what it's like to have the kind of joint pain that you described.
I've already started noticing a difference AND I've got a whole lot more years of wear and tear on my joints. By starting this process at your age, I think the chances of an awesome recovery are high. Not only with your joints, but your skin hasn't been the victim of gravity for 40+ years. The elastic in your skin has not yet gone on strike!
I am the nightmare you fear. I am at the end of the road you are on. Not the way you think though. I have lived a life addicted to food and addicted to dieting. I could not have children despite trying for many many years. However, the measure of a good parent (or a good Auntie) is not in your physical ability, but your ability to love and support them unconditionally. You are already leaving the world a better, happier place and you will continue to if you face your fears and hold your head up no matter what size you are.
The reason it took me so long to have the surgery is because I wasn't so unhappy with my life I was willing to risk it. Most people do not understand that. And I'm not saying that life was perfect at 500 lbs+, and I'm geeked thinking about doing things I haven't done in years, but the measure of a woman is her heart, not her waist size and as long as you continue to share that, you're leaving a legacy.
You will be in my prayers as you begin this journey. You have inspired me today. Thank you for sharing.
Kelle'
Wow, thanks. I don't know too, too many people my size or larger in RL, so I just kind of assumed that I was the only one with these types of issues until I met SharPeiKay. My mother is 4'11" and so even though we wear the same clothes size, she's 100 pounds less and not feeling it as much.
I know that I will leave the world a better place; I love people too much to do anything else! I just kind of want to be around to enjoy it though!!!
I think you're right when you say that the Gods determine these sorts of things and times. I really do, from the bottom of my heart, feel like this is where I'm being led. And it couldn't come at a more perfect time. In the past year and a half, I've really found out more about myself than the 15 years combined beforehand. I'm so much stronger now than I was then, and I'm ready to take care of myself and live a life of fulfilling my needs.
Thank you so much for sharing your story. It really makes me glad to know that others out there have come from where I'm at and are doing well. It gives me hope and motivation.
Sincerely,
Sarah
Your letter makes a lot of sense, speaking for myself, I had a lot of baggage going into WLS.
I highly suggest seeking counciling (if your not already in it). WLS operates on your stomach, and will not address the issues (such as food addictions) that caused you to become overweight in the first place. While a RNY (GB) will enable you to lose weight, if you do not change your behaviors longer term, you can regain that weight back again (and plus some).
Heck, i'd print out a copy of this letter and show it to the therapist/psychologist. Obviously your friends/friends mothers comments hurt you, and thats ok. It's normal to get hurt, when people say mean and cruel things. But it's up to you to regain a sense of self, and determine that you won't allow people to treat you like that anymore.
There is a saying in therapy land, that says, " a behavior accepted is a behavior repeated" meaning that if you allow a person to treat you a certain way, they will treat you that way over and over again. This is how people (including very smart people) end up in long term abusive relationships.
As for quality of life, your quality of life can improve, but it is not a given. At 16, your health should rebound very quickly when you start dropping weight, which will improve the way you feel health wise. Again as i said in the beginning of the letter, they operate on your stomach not your head, so things like OCD, and such might find new outlets in WLS post op life. It's important to deal with these things in therapy.
Scott
PS as a side note, i think turning around magazines in walmart is an exercise in futility. I mean they have people that are fixing shelves, *****ally could care less why the magazines are turned around, except that they have to fix them. The people who go to the store looking for the magazines, will just turn them back to find the one they are looking for (i personally like people magazine...so shoot me). If you really want to make a difference get on the board of Walmart, and make a rule not to sell those types of magazines...lol....or something to that effect.
BTW welcome to the board
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