Enemies?...after loosing 268 pounds

Hello Everyone! I want to ask if any of you have had any negative dealings with people about your weight loss? Any close family members that you can tell are not pleased with you? I'm trying to learn to not care about what people think, but THAT's easier said than done!!! You would think that people would be shouting with you because of having your life back again...living...being ALIVE!!! I really would like to hear from those of you who could take the time to share your situations with me...I'd be very grateful for any insight. Thanks bunches!!! Love, Cindy

I have been in that very situation. Here is my story - One of my very close friends will not even talk to me anymore at all, at first she was very happy for me, but once I got smaller than her she started acting wierd around me. She quit taking my calls and returning emails, once she even pretended she was not home when I went to visit her to find out what was going on. I have since found out that it is part jealousy that she cannot afford it, part anger that I am smaller than her now, part envy that I am happier than her (she says). She says that she cannot have the surgery because she is a mom of 3, a wife, a business co-owner, and the expense is outragous. I told her to check with her insurance company but she said she doesn't have time. I told her that I would give her the info for my surgeon in Mexico becuause it is so much cheaper but again she tells me she doesn't have time for that, going to Mexico is out of the question, she says. Now she just flat out will not talk to me, I have heard through the grapevine that she says we are now just 2 different people, I am thinner, prettier, and more outgoing than I used to be and she is just the same working wife and mom she always was and will be. I told her that I am the same person that I always was on the inside the only thing that changed was the look of my outside. My body might be smaller than her's now but I think I am the still bigger person for being an adult and trying to talk to her. She has refused so I suppose when she is ready she will come to me, until then I will go on with my life, being happy and outgoing is the new/old me. I hope this helps you - Jeremy

hi cindy i haven't really encountered anything like that, myself. i work in a really large corporate environment, in a job that does expose me to lots of people, and i know that i'm the topic of many conversations - and i'm sure not all of them are complimentary! but no one has ever said anything negative to my face. my close friends and parents express only joy and delight over the way life is going for me. i'm really sorry to hear that you're having to deal with negativity...as if the adjustments to this whole new life aren't difficult enough without people who should be supportive making it tougher? btw - i'm thinking there's a support grp mtg tonight? and i'm not out of town! will you be there? i'd love to see how wonderful you're looking in person. deb

Hi Deb! I haven't been attending the general meeting, but I have gone to the year out and really liked it! It's a smaller group. I am planning on going this month, too. I'd love to see you again, too! Thanks for replying! Love, Cindy

Thank you for sharing with me! It really means a lot to me ! God bless! Love, Cindy

I don' t have a lot of close friends. My so-called best friend and I were basically fat buddies. We were both lonely, obese and struggling with trying to lose weight, so we gravitated toward each other as friends - friends in misery I guess. Anyway, how close we "really" were pre-op is questionable since she would blow me off for weeks at a time everytime she got a new boyfriend. Anyway, once I lost the weight, she began acting funny around me like she was not comfortable. When we'd go out for a meal, she would literally take a few bites and would not eat anymore. I practically begged her to not feel as if she could not eat in front of me, but she doesn't. I feel like I have to walk on egg-shells around her lest i say something that will make her even more uncomfortable. I can't share my victories with her, I can't share WOW moments with her, I cant describe the joy of buying clothes, I can't talk about my new love of exercise all because I don't want her to feel bad. It's not only that but we just don't have anything in common anymore since our whole friendship was based on us both being fat, miserable, and lonely. Well, I'm not fat anymore and she's not lonely anymore (she got married a couple of months ago... and did NOT invite me to the wedding but that's another conversation....). So, I guess I would not say she's an "enemy" but is a stranger now that we don't have the fat in common and that's a real shame.

Oh! Sorry you had to go through this. I have to admit these months since my surgery have been the loneliest of my life. I had a best friend darn near dump me. It was quite profound and very painful for me. She just can't seem to get past her disdain and there really isn't anything I can do. I realized that part of the no friends thing-would be my own tendency to isolate. I have found one old friend who turned out to be very supportive and kind to me-and I thank GOD for him. He is seriously the ONLY person I can talk to who is near me (works at the same company). Other than that-I have learned to get support from OH-it has helped me through a few very tough nights and days. I still can't say my old friend has seen the error of her ways-she hasn't. She still continues to put me off and stay cold. I hate having to learn these painful lessons, but it is life. I know in my heart-that I will begin to build some meaningful friendships where both friends are happy for each other. Friends support you and hold you up. They don't leave you or despise you for your choices. Sorry-I rambled..but I so relate!! Again-OH has been a lifesaver for me. I have found the kindest and most beautiful people here! Hugs, Therese

Hi deb!! This is not in response to your question, as I have not had my surgery yet, but after viewing your profile, I can't believe how much weight you lost and so fast.. You look fabulous!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm hoping to have my surgery by late March early April of this year.. If you give me any words of advice they would be greatly appreciated!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thanks!!

I feel a certain vibe from my sister that I never felt before.  She is 10 years older and has always been the smaller of us, I was always the super obese sister.  She supported me having the surgery, but now that the weight is coming off and I am smaller than she is, she is very distant and talks to me less.   For the most part, people have been very complimentary and supportive and comment on how great I'm doing.