just gotta ask...replying to all
I don't know how to reply to everyone at one time so you'll all see it, and my computer becomes a slug when I have javascript on so I can reply. SO forgive me with this one response to all who wrote back to my post from a few days ago.
Thank you, thank you, thank you 
. It took all of your responses, some of you cracking me up, for me to finally figure out that what was going on for me. I can simply not conceptualize being smaller than I am. I was bigger (taller and weight-wise) by 6yo, and I was 250lbs well before I graduated high school. Yet I saw myself as 400lbs. As I've continued to gain I haven't really seen any difference in my size until my mobility became compromised during the past two years. Listening over and over to you all talk about fitting into size 12's but still being okay having extra skin didn't quite make sense physically until one of you (can't remember who right now) mentioned preferring that skin loose and flapping than full like it used to be. Wow, I got it!!! I'm a bit worried about this difficulty visulizing myself smaller. I'm not sure if it is just body dysmorphia, or if it is the "change the outside but you're still the same on the inside" thinking. Or is that the same thing in this case, having always been bigger than everyone else? Lots to think about...........
. It took all of your responses, some of you cracking me up, for me to finally figure out that what was going on for me. I can simply not conceptualize being smaller than I am. I was bigger (taller and weight-wise) by 6yo, and I was 250lbs well before I graduated high school. Yet I saw myself as 400lbs. As I've continued to gain I haven't really seen any difference in my size until my mobility became compromised during the past two years. Listening over and over to you all talk about fitting into size 12's but still being okay having extra skin didn't quite make sense physically until one of you (can't remember who right now) mentioned preferring that skin loose and flapping than full like it used to be. Wow, I got it!!! I'm a bit worried about this difficulty visulizing myself smaller. I'm not sure if it is just body dysmorphia, or if it is the "change the outside but you're still the same on the inside" thinking. Or is that the same thing in this case, having always been bigger than everyone else? Lots to think about........... 
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