What do you say to people???

Hi all,  My topic subjects sounds alittle obscure I guess.  Tuesday, I will have been out of surgery for 18 months.  It's kind of a milestone for me in my life.  I am about 19 pounds away from the weight my surgeon wanted me to be at 18 months out...this not being my ideal weight...still a long ways to go. I feel great, I am able to bend, get down on the floor and work with kids...I do have to make sure I am near a wall or a chair in case I need to get up or something.  With all of the physical changes in my life....I just haven't figured out the right way to respond to people's compliments.  For instance, I feel like the same person, but people treat me different.  I feel more accepted, yet this is such a new feeling after being super morbidly obese for so many years.  I feel the need to appologize for not being the weight I think I should be this far off.  Does that make sence??? I get allot of stares from people that I haven't seen in a few years.  I had an aquaintance approach me the other day and tell me that we were in a store and she didn't say "hi" to me because she didn't recognize me..yet she did my son, so she figured it was me.  I just don't know what to say cause I'm not used to getting compliments.  Has this every happened to any of you guys?  How do you handle inquiring minds?  Do you explain about the surgery? or does a compliment kick you from behind so hard that you say something stupid..like me??? Hugs, Ginger

Hi Julie, This whole self-esteem issue is totally creeping up on me.  I too seem to over-explain things to people..I guess I don't want to sound stuck-up, yet I don't want people to think that I think that I am finished since I'm not under 200 yet....I'll brag to you guys when I get there...I know you guys won't think I'm stuck-up.  Do you have your surgery date yet? or are you a "lady in waiting"..... for approval that is!

Hugs,

Ginger

My response varies depending on my relationship with the person asking.  If it's someone I don't know well, I might just say "I'm working on getting healthier."  If it's someone I know well and am comfortable with, I may choose to tell them I've had gastric bypass surgery and that I've been working hard to be successful.  I never feel the need to justify or explain how much I've lost vs. how much I "should have" lost.  I just don't think anyone asking casual questions needs that kind of information.  I save that level of details for my very close friends and family, who have all been super supportive.   Regarding taking compliments, I've learned that a simple "thanks" or "thanks for noticing" does the job.  This does get easier with practice!   Good luck on your continuing journey -  Kellie

I think the best thing you could say is Thank You ... I seem to be saying it a lot these days.

HEY GINGER,          WHAT A GREAT QUESTION... AND BOY DO I WISH  HAD THE ANSWERS FOR YA.... I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL TOTALLY. I AM THE KIND OF PERSON THAT HAS NEVER BEEN ONE TO TAKE COMPLIMENTS WELL. NOT THAT I RECIEVED THAT MANY TO START WITH ANYWAY LOL... I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN THE ONE EVERYONE CAME TO FOR DECORATING IDEAS OR COOKING... NOT MUCH ELSE. IF WEDDINGS OR SHOWERS OR ANYTHING ELSE CAME ABOUT I WAS YOUR MAN. OR NEEDED ADVICE ON DECORATING OR WALLPAPERING OR PAINTING A ROOM... I WAS YOUR MAN. BUT NOT MUCH ELSE CAME ABOUT WHEN WAS SO HEAVY AND I DO MEAN HEAVY....COME ON NOW.... 400LB WOMAN SQUEEZING INTO THE BIGGEST PAIR OF JOGGING PANTS AND MENS 5X=6X SHIRTS... NOT ALOT GOING ON TO RAVE ON ABOUT BUT COOKING OR DECORATING.. BUT AS THE TIME HAS WENT BY I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE DIFFERENT WITH COMPLIMENTS BUT HASNT CHANGED ALOT... I DONT KNOW HOW TO TAKE THEM. SO WHEN ALL ELSE FAILS I JOKE AND CUT UP... SEEMS TO GET ME THRU IT. LOL... IF ITS A CLOSE FAMILY MEMBER OR CLOSE FRIEND I ALWAYS SAY " COME ON NOW,,,, NO NEED TO SUCK UP,,,, YOUR IN THE WILL LOL"  BUT WHEN COMES TO OTHERS OUTSIDE THE CIRCLE AS THEY SAY I AM JUST EMBARRASSED AND SAY THANK YOU... BUT EITHER WAY NOT ANY EASIER TO TAKE. IM JUST A JOKING TYPE WHEN UNCOMFORTABLE LOL... SO MAYBE ONE DAY I CAN POST HOW I ACTUALLY FEEL AT HOME IN MY NEW BODY AND TAKE ANYTHING THAT COMES MY WAY WITH COMPLIMENTS BUT DONT SEE IT ANYTIME SOON LOL...YOUR LIFE CHANGES SO MUCH IN SO MANY WAYS FROM MOBILITY TO ENERGY. BUT STILL HAVE PROBLEMS SEEING WHOS N THE MIROR EVERYDAY AND TAKING WHAT COMES WITH IT... HUGS MARG

Hi Marge, I feel your sentiniments exactly!  I can really relate to what you just said.  After all, our bodies have changed so drastically since wls.....but our brains have not.  I sometimes think that folks just don't know how to react to my change.  I sometimes feel like my "heavier" friends feel somehow threatened by me..isn't that weird??? Has that happened to you???? Wanta decorate my house Marge??? Oh, and I also have a baby shower to plan...just kiddin' Hugs, Ginger