<----This is my brain on anesthesia....

If I hear one more time that I look or sound "great", I'm going to begin to seriously worry about what I normally sound or look like . All my brain wants to do is stare at the tv. I have watched everything there is "On Demand" and every free movie I haven't already seen. Focus enough to write on the  computer??? I don't THINK so!!!! Ah well..a little time out never hurt anyone. And if I look great without a bra, in my loosest, baggiest, schmatta pants and tees, with my uncombed hair.....well here I come . Today I lapped two floors of my building in a tshirt dress with my big ole hairy legs sticking out. I could've cared less. I WAS however, amazed that I went that far, and my back never hurt. I think this is a temporary displacement of pain, as my left thigh is hurting from being partially numb and having a sharp nerve pain in it. I had expected the numb, but the pain rots. Other than that, I haven't had any narcotics since the day I came home, and all the gas was gone after the first full day home. I have one spot in my lower right abdomen that is bugging me, but nothing bad. All in all, so far so good. But then, I know others have said the same.......... So I have some questions: 1)Am I really supposed to feel this full all day? I am getting in almost all my clear liquids, and since I switched from Instant Breakfast back to my protein shakes, I am getting 60 gms of protein with less cups of fluid. But man, I feel fuller than I did unless I had a big binge before surgery, and I hadn't done that in some time. Am I stretching out my pouch? Will it always feel like this? 2)Does 8oz of jello equal 8oz of water/clear liquid? It seems that way on my list, but something seems odd about it to me. Maybe because it's a "solid". 3)Has anyone else every gotten the "oh, how gross" when suddenly realizing what was done to the inside of the body. I mean like the heebeejeebies. I remember feeling this way when I first thought about WLS, and would only consider LapBand. But after research I changed my mind and never looked back. I am surprised to be thinking like this now. I wonder if this is my version of wondering if I did the right thing, because I haven't had one second of that otherwise. (unless we talk about waking up in recovery, which I can't think about again until I am further past the healing process). Hhhmmm..other questions were there, but they ran away with the brain fog. This is long enough anyway...(is anyone still reading???) -Julie (looking forward to getting weighed some time next week.

I don't know about feeling full because I can't really tell when I am empty or full.  I've just been measuring out an ounce or so in volume of food, sometimes 2 oz, but I can't finish 2.  I eat really slow and then I just reach a point where another bite seems like a bad idea - for me its at about an oz usually.  But then, I am not hungry or interested in food, so it could just be boredom at that point.  I think I could eat more at first than I can now, which I've read is because your pouch doesn't stretch as well after its healed more.  I don't feel full all the time like you describe, and the one time I maybe overate was when I finished a whole pudding cup instead of just half.  It started crawling back up my throat, which I assume means it wouldn't all fit in the pouch.  I don't think the nerves that tell you whether you are full or not come back for a little while after surgery.  At least that's what I've been told.  I think 8oz of jello is prolly about 8 oz of liquid, but you could always melt some down to see.  I don't know the last time I made jello, so I don't remember if it expands as it hardens.  I don't think so.  But it does melt pretty much as soon as you eat it.. As for heebiejeebies definitely.  I don't like to think about what's been done to my insides.  I have had some regrets, but then I wasn't completely sure I was going to live through the second surgery,  I think that has something to do with it.  At the moment, no regrets, but sometimes when I drink water too fast or my stomach is unsettled I think that I made a mistake.  I'm sure it will pass as I feel better and better.  I regretted it last night when I ate some guacamole (with a spoon) and wanted tortilla chips soooo bad! I think these first few weeks and months will involve a lot of complicated feelings as we come to terms with what we've done and as our lives change sooo quickly.  Best Wishes in your continued good health and healing.  Don't worry about your brain on anesthesia, I've had some of the weirdest most vivid dreams for the last month.  (I had one last night where I ate a whole package of chips ahoy and didn't understand why I didn't get sick or explode my pouch).    My mind is still very flighty and I can't seem to think much at all.  Adios!  Jenn

Jenn, what do you mean by "I reach a point where another bite seems like a bad idea"? What signals this? I guess we will all feel fullness differently, but I am having all these worries during the night. That's when the boogey man is here with me and he tells me all sorts of scarey stories about how things are going wrong. I mean I even turned onto my side the other night and panicked that that meant I lifted more than 10 pounds!! Maybe it's good I live alone -Julie

Awww Julie, you are worrying too much *hug*  First of all, I don't know how large your pouch is, but for most surgeons they base the size somewhat on your BMI- so consequently mine is probably a little smaller than yours.  He told me mine was really tiny & I believe him because what I interpret as getting full is a really small amount of food.  When I say another bite seems like a bad idea I mean usually I start to feel the edge of nausea.  My gag reflex has been on high alert for more than a month now so I am using that as my personal gauge.  I am just trying to get the protein in, don't care about anymore food than that at this point.  My doc's literature, and other literature I've read on here, etc.  says fullness is usually a slight pain at the base of your ribcage.   That's probably a good measurement too.  I hope you continue feeling better (and calmer!)  I did a lot of the same boogeyman worries after the second surgery, and yes the same thought occurred when I turned over in bed, or pushed up from the bed.   All the best! Jenn

LOL, you are so right about my worrying. I do enough for all the people for are carefree, and those who may not be highly skilled in anxiety and fearfulness, just in case! Thanks for telling me that they size pouches differently by BMI. I don't know why they would do that, since one's BMI is supposed to change. But it did occur to me that since you and I are the same weight, but you are, I believe, a normal girl-size human and I am an amazon, our pouches may lay in different locations as related to our breast bones and throats. That may be why you feel the gag reflex  so quickly, and I don't. I think the amount of food we can hold is the same. I was told I would feel it fullness under my breastbone, but it is lower, where you described it. Thanks for normalizing my fears. I have to admit what you went through raised my fears, and I still wonder if I am going to have the same problem, and how I would know since you had also done so well the first few weeks out. (See, I'm doing it again ) -Julie

What I went through raised my fears too, but it was definitely NOT common - my doc called several other surgeons who had never seen anything like it in their combined experiences either.  And two internal hernias - the chance of developing one is like 2% and then two is waaaay lower.  You will be fine!! Please don't use me as an example, haha.  Best Wishes!   Jenn

Julie,

 

Enjoy the time because it will be over before you know it.  I can relate to the TV thing.  Can you imagine if this was 25 years ago and there was no cable, or VCR's just network and public TV.

You will know you are making a comeback when you get the razor out and shave those legs, unless you are going to go European on us. 

I was good about getting in all of my "food"early on.  I never felt full just mechanical.  The sample schedule that my nut gave me had me up almost 24 hours per day sipping, drinking, vitaminin, etc.  It is great that you are getting everything in.  Don't over do.  when you are full stop.  This will all fall into place.  No matter how prepared you were pre-op there is a million scenarios that present themselves after.

Be well, and remember at this point brain fog is GOOD.

 

Jeanne

Thanks, Jeanne. I am stopping when full, sip by sip, and am finding it takes less time to get things down already. I don't know if this is okay or not, but I assume it is. The first day in the hospital I had to go half as slow as the second day. I assume this has to do with swelling. My particular worry besides getting the water in is that they took me off my diabetes meds, and I am worried what will happen if I don't keep my protein up. So far, so good. But we haven't hit "real" food yet. The really neat thing about feeling full so quick is that today, when I wanted to stay laying down to let my belly have lots of air to keep the itching down, I found that my not doing the constant drinking I almost felt hungry. All I had to do was have 3 sips of water and that took are of that!!! -Julie

Hey Julie,        So glad to see you up and at em... I wish I could be there with ya... We would both do laps around the place and girl.... We could totally compare hairy legs. Heck, I even need a haircut so badly... Look like madussa walking. Go to my after pics of surgery and you will see lol... But like you... who gives a rats booty right now anyway. I dont feel sexy or with it so and gonna pretend...lol... I do have to say I never once felt nowhere empty after surgery. That was the major deal with me... It took all I had to get in liquids at first. And OMG I was so possessed over it seemed like forever. It was such a change but I promise afterwhile It will become second nature. I still today cant eat that much. We ate at cracker barrel for dinner tonight and had one scrambled egg and one small turkey sausage patty and didnt even eat all of that. But then other times I can eat more... You are doing great. I know you will get the hang of it soon... Cant wait till you can join in with us on the Monday weigh ins....And last but not least.... Yeah they always say you look amazing.... If are like my family.. they are scared<<< to say anything else lol... Hugs Marge

Oh, I feel better now. I do want to get used to this, and today I began to realize that it won't always be a job every minute I am awake. It is taking less than an hour to get a cup of fluid in sometimes. Hey Marge, what is the large picture in your signature. I have never been able to see it. I only gett a large box with the picture symbol in the corner. Probably because I am using an old version of Windows, but I feel like I am missing something good. -Julie