Rough Week

Hi All, I've been in major lurking mode lately.  I found out last Monday (2/4) that my boss' son committed suicide at the age of 27.  He had battled mental illness for a long time. I work for a sole attorney (his mom) and last week was just as tough as nails to get through.  My boss made it in the office a few times and we'd go from just crying our hearts out to trying to focus on work and get some things done back to tears.  My boss orgainized a memorial service for her son as her ex-husband and daughter were to drive out from Oregon with her son's ashes.  My boss never heard from them after speaking to her ex-husband on Monday.  The saddest part is that my boss just found out TODAY that her ex and daughter (age 23) did come to town with the ashes and they spread his ashes WITHOUT her (no call, no nothing!), though they invited the ex's family and friends and have since left town.  While my boss knows the general area where they left the ashes, she is devestated about not knowing for sure where he is and that she didn't get to hold him (his ashes) one last time.  Cruel, beyond cruel! I hope they both rot.... I made it to the water class at the YMCA last night.  I have found that I can attend three deep-water classes, which is heaven for my arthritic knees.  It felt good to be back in the water and I really enjoyed the instructor.  Saturday's instructor, not so much.  I'm hoping to work myself up to the three classes per week for 3 months or so and then add in lap swimming and some weight lifting. This Sunday I am two months post-op.  Still basically eating protein and drinking water.  I have snuck in some veggies on occasion and those seem to settle well for me.  I'm still eating 1/4 to a scant 1/3 C of food three times a day, at least four hours apart.  I'm down a solid 50 lbs., though I've been bouncing between 50 - 52 lbs gone for a few days. Food isn't tripping my trigger for the last few days.  It goes down and settles okay, but dang! nothing sounds good, looks good and at best tastes just okay.  I thought I found some protein bars that I would like - uh, nope.  Same with shakes - ewww. Right now I'm just eating because I have to.  My happy moment is that I can actually take a good size swig of water now instead of sipping it - I am so grateful for this!! (I know I'm so easily amused!) I hope to be around on a more consistent basis.  Here's to happier days ahead!!! Take Care, Jana

My prayers are with you and your friend for not only the loss but of the lack of mercy shown the mother that is sooo sad.

Thank you.  Any spare prayers or postive thoughts would be greatly appreciated.  Every day right now is a new challenge for her. Jana

Oh Jana, I am so sorry to hear about what is happening with you. My dad was sick this summer and I can totally relate to the "nothing sounds good" on food.  I lost most of my weight during the 2nd half of my first year after surgery because of the stress. Just take it from me, force yourself to eat. Even if it is smaller, more frequent meals. I know I couldn't eat much at a time, it was just too much. Just take care of yourself and make sure you are getting enough nutrition and exercise - it really does help. By the way, I see you had Dr. Chae too - did you do the Pants Over Skyridge at the hospital or do you go to the support group? I've made some great friends at the support group and of course Kelli is great at leading it. He is a great surgeon and is such an inspiration to me! Big Hugs Pam

Hi Pam, So far I'm sticking pretty close to cottage cheese, tuna (though it's getting pretty gross sounding to me!), string cheese and bites of other meat I can tolerate.  Still can't handle cured meats such as ham and bacon yet. No, I wasn't at the Pants Over Skyridge...my pants still fit!!! Maybe next year.  I live in the Springs so I haven't made it to a support group yet due to the drive and weather.  I hope to make my debut appearance this spring and summer.

I, too, love Dr. Chae!  He is so personable.  In fact he showed me a picture of you during my last visit.  He was commenting on how losing 40 lbs was great and maybe next winter I'll be out snow shoeing.  I laughed and said that maybe I'll be out sledding. LOL In all seriousness, he said, "Oh no, that won't be aerobic enough!!!" I told him I can't imagine coming from 440 lbs one winter and being able to snow shoe the next winter.  He jumped up and went out to the board and came back with your picture on top of 14-er and said, "This lady climbs MOUNTAINS now...you could too - if you wanted, you don't have to, but you could!!!!"  My husband and I laughed all the way home - I'm still hoping to be able to climb stairs, let alone the mountain! BUT I CAN, IF I WANT TO!!!! LOL Yes, work has been very crazy and stressful this past week.  I've been with this attorney for 3 1/2 years.  It's just heartbreaking and being a mom myself I just can't imagine losing my child.  Thank you for your positive thoughts. Take Care, Jana

Dear Pam, How devestating (sp?) for a mother!  I will be thinking of her for a long time. Please eat your protein even though it is difficult at a time like this.  You have to think of your health for yourself and your own family. With prayers,  Donna Kay

Nice to Meet you,  I hope happier times are ahead, and i'm sorry for your loss Keep coming by  Estelle

That is so awful of them. Regardless of any bad feelings between the family, this is so cruel. I apologize for the louts from Oregon. Let me know if you want me to harass them locally.

Jana, Congrats on that 50 lb loss. Surely you are feeling better these days!  I am 3 months (today) out and just the past couple of weeks have I felt like eating something different.  What a sad story about your boss and all that happened with her son.  I believe what comes around goes around in life and that family will certainly get theres one day. How incredibly insensitive!  Keep up the good work!!  Jeanine