will i ever be normal?

i know throwing the word normal out there is risky, but let me define what i mean as normal: thin, at a healthy weight, be able to shop at a normal size store and buy pretty clothes and look beautiful on the outside. will that EVER be me? i'll be 23 soon and here i am at 5'6" 390lbs with a bmi of like 56. i feel like even with wls, i'll still never reach my goal weight of 140 (that's where my surgeon ultimately wants me to be, i'm not sure if he meant post plastic surgery or not), and i get really sad and depressed. i hope i don't get bashed for this, it might sound like a pity party. it's not though, it's just i've been fat my whole life and the only thing i want besides internal health is to look (with clothes on of course) like i was never fat, to be thin, not "oh she's got some extra lbs but she looks healthy" i want to be normal damnit. will this ever happen? i think i need a real success story where someone my size around my age went from this...to that, that being thin. seriously everyone, is it really possible? when i ask that i do know that the surgery is just a tool in my toolbox to help me achieve my goals, it's not going to fix everything, yes i know. but what if someone who had surgery got into exercise a real lot, would they be able to look thin someday? omg, this post must sound so pathetic. i'm really sorry you guys, i'm just having a real, real, real, real hopeless day. it seems like someone my size wanting to be thin someday is a freaking joke. is it?

p.s. please don't bash my post if they had a depression forum i'd go there i swear it's just i came here cuz my bmi is really high and i wanted to be around people who could understand where i was coming from

I believe it is possible.  I am older than you.  I am now 31, but it is possible.  I am three weeks out from my DS and I have lost 36 pounds.  I know I am going to do this.  The DS will help me get there and maintain it.  My goal weight is 145 and I will be there and maintain it with my DS.  MY body will show the signs of being super morbidly obese at one time, but I am confident that I will handle that when the time comes. 

You can do this.  Choose the surgery that best suits you for the REST of your life.  You are young and will have to live with it for many years.  Make sure you will be happy forever!

Jennifer

no bashing here
((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((hug)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

I am not your age. I am 45. I had my surgery 01/17/2007. My starting weight was 362 standing 5'7". Here I am less that 2 years later weighing 162 lbs. I wear a size 10 and some 8(without breathing) in clothes. Never in a million years would I have thought I could or would weigh under 200 lbs. I am 7 lbs less than my surgeon's goal and still losing. Not as fast as I was at first but still working this tool everyday. My goal today is 150 lbs. However, that changes constently.You don't sound pathetic, you sound real. I just got real with myself about a month ago.  I trully realized that I trully, trully had this surgery to be normal, to be thin and I wont stop until I reach that goal. Good days and bad days are part of this journey. This day will pass.

Stay positive and keep coming back to this forum. You will find the best group of people on OH here. They are so supportive

Tricie

 

 

Rachel,
I'm glad you posted and shared your worries.  It looks like you just had your surgery a week ago, it is very common to be feeling the way you do after surgery.  You are normal.  I don't want to say you shouldn't post here, because this board gives alot of great advice and support, but have you tried the WLS in your 20's board?  It is quite possible that you might find a few people on there that could provide that inspiration you need right now.  Also, I recommend the Exercise and Fitness board,  I was inspired by the stories I read there, very high energy.   And, NO it is not a freaking joke to think that someone your size can be thin.  There are several people on this board that have achieved that.  Finally, Don't give into the depression.  Get on the boards and talk to people!

Diane

Please keep coming back.  On this board we have longer journeys.  It takes us longer, but we can get there.  I think your doctor's goal for you is too low.  My normal BMI at 5'2" is 135 pounds.  Where did the surgeon come up with 140 for your height?  I have lost 15 pounds since January and after my second round of plastic surgery so it is possible to still lose even at three plus years out.  With exercise and more diligence with my food plan I could have my weight faster.  Don't feel bad for your feelings and don't be surprised if you feel low at other times.  You will have ups and downs and have impatient times.  I wish you great things.  Loris

Hi Rachel,

Its not impossible, definitely not. There are people on this board who have reached their goals. There was a lady here (she's been absent for a bit due to computer problems) who started in the 400s and was down and holding 150, and she was 20-30 years older than you. I had surgery at 29. I don't expect to get to normal. Starting with a BMI over 80, I'll just be happy with wherever I end up - for my height normal is 110-120 and that just doesn't seem acheivable even with plastics.

Take it day to day, do what you need to do presently to cope, hope for the best, work for the best, and see where you end up. Best of luck!

 I can totally relate to your concern and I think for me it is that I have never been "normal" where size is concerned - so why now? Why should I get to a normal size because that has never been possible and as if this surgery is going to help me get there!  That is my stinking thinking I deal with on a regular basis.  I often find myself wondering when is the weight loss going to stop and will I be satisfied at the point that it stops.  There is a part of me that believes I will be a "big girl" all my life and never get below 250 lbs.  I made my personal goal 200 lbs because there is a part of me that says I will never get below that weight so don't set myself up to fail.  I read the success stories and I am in awe - just knowing that it is possible but not probable for me.  Again, the stinking thinking!

However, my family and friends are my greatest cheering squad and they believe all things are possible for me and help to make me believe that too.  I also have my own personal victories that help in proving to myself that I can be successful, ie: physically able to do more things, reaching 350 lbs, losing over 100 lbs, only having 22 lbs to go before I never weigh over 300 lbs again!!!  These are the things I remind myself of when I start to get down on myself about what I can achieve in the future.  I do my best to take it one meal at a time one day at a time.  While there are times I emotionally stumble (it is normal to do so), concentrating on my personal successes thus far are what gets me through on a daily basis!  Good Luck to you - Clinell

First, we don't bash here.  That's the difference between our forum and the others.  There may be great advice, but no bashing.

I'm 5'7" and had surgery at 38 ten months ago.  I've lost 122 pounds and am wearing "normal" sized shirts already.  I can wear a large t-shirt and a size 14 - 16 blouse.  My pants are down to a size 20 and will probably be in plus sized pants for another 4 months or so based on my weight loss.

My doctor's goal for me is 135.  I find that laughable.  My personal goal is 148.  Something about being under 150 that just makes me want to work to get there.  I know that plastic surgery is definitely in my future and that will hopefully get me close to my goal weight.

I work out 5 days a week and I feel like most of my body reflects that work.  I still have the bat wings under my arms, but if they aren't lifted, you wouldn't know it.  My waist is whittling away and I feel pretty good in my clothes with my spanx on.  The weight is hanging on to my stomach but mostly in my thighs.  I've been over 300 pounds for 15+ years and those fat deposits have been deeply rooted.

I feel confident if you follow your doctor's nutritional rules and work on making exercise a daily habit you can reach your doctor's goal.  Your age is on your side.  You haven't done the years of damage to your body and it's metabolism like I did.  Your success is dependent upon you and how well you use your tool.

Dear justsomegirlrachel,

Today I'm feeling the same way. That is why today I signed up on OH for the first time.I want to hear other people like me that are going through the same things I am. I dream of the same things as you do. I don't think you are sounding pathetic. I think you are sounding real and not afraid to be honest. I see all these photos today and think WOW, but I doubt that I could ever be in those before and after photos too.-kn29

Hi and welcome to this forum,

It's really hard emotionally to deal with surgery when you are brand new post-op.  I'm 3 months out and I'm still really struggling with it.  I think that you will find that you feel more confident about your decision as time progresses - whether the "proof" of your good decision will be the number on the scale, the size listed on the tag in your clothes, or something else that you come up with.

I haven't been in my 20s for a while (I am 36 now) but I know how important it is at your age to be physically attractive and look cute.  I think people at every age want that to some degree to be sure, but I hope that you can trust those of us that are older when we (or at least I) say that "thinness" and being at the ultimate goal weight won't always be so important.  This surgery *will* make you healthier and it *will* improve the quality of your life.  I believe that if you continue to work your best at being healthy, happy, and confident that you will attract others to you no matter what weight you ultimately lose to.

Hang in there - keep following your surgeon's recommendations and work on getting that exercise routine you mentioned established.  You've got some really fantastic "wow" moments ahead of you!