Sometimes I forget to be thankful...
For those of you who have read my stuff, I had surgery on October 13, 2008. I started at 503 and today I am 398. My BMI has gone from 81.2 to 64.2. I get very frustrated because I think this is not going fast enough, but that is 105 pounds. I think I lost about 30 or so prior to surgery so that is still 75 pounds in 2.5 months. I was so scared prior to surgery, largely due to how big I was, the fact that I have severe sleep apnea and the fact that our 21 year old son died February 6, 2008. I was pretty much positive he would be there to greet me when they put me under, but I was at the place in my severe obesity that I really didn't care. I knew it was live or die at that point. For anyone *****ads this who is quite large, I say go for it. I woke up in the recovery room about 3 hours after the surgery started. It took longer because of my size and also because they took out my Gallbladder. I know this surgery saved my life and I can tell you, even though I still weigh almost 400 pounds and am still bigger than most people who are having the surgery now, this has changed my entire life. 
I can walk, I can breath, for the first time in a very long time I HAVE HOPE. I dieted and lost 100 pounds so many times in the past and then gained it plus more back. This time, I know that it is for real. I know I will have tons of hanging skin when this is all done, but so what...I get it cut off or I learn to deal with it. I am alive, I again have quality of life, I am starting to feel feminine and pretty again. I forgot what that was like. My eating has changed, I don't do well with meat of any kind, I don't dump like you hear about some people, but I definitely feel it if I eat stuff that is not healthy for me. I hated protein powder prior to surgery, but now protein shakes are a staple in my diet. I know that it will not always be that way, but for now it is a necessity. I used to hate vegetables and now I crave healthier things. I really don't miss the fast food as I know that I only get to eat so much, and I want it to be quality I am putting into my body. Even after only a couple of months, food really is no longer the priority in my life. If you knew me prior to surgery this would surprise you, as I was one of those people that you see on TV who ate and ate and ate. For the first time since I was probably 9 years old I feel that I am the one in control. What a powerful feeling that is...because for about 31 years I thought I was in control of every aspect of my life except my diet and health. Now I realize that since that part of me was out of balance, every part of me was out of balance. Every birthday candle and star I have wished on, Every New Years Resolution for 31 years has been that I will finally feel like I am in control and that I will be able to lose the weight and get healthy. It is very empowering to know that I am on my way to making that happen. I am saying this at 398 pounds. My birthday is the 11th of January and this is the most incredible gift I could ever receive. If you are unsure like I was, if you are one of those people that read this site religiously because you need to help but are terrified to be one of the statistics, All I can see is this has not been the easiest thing I have ever done, but it has definitely been the healthiest, and most empowering. I learned so much from so many of you. I want to say thank you for your wisdom, faith and courage. This site is amazing and we are so blessed to have it. 
We Move Towards and Become That Which We Think About....I think I am a pretty amazing Chickie and so are all of you.
I can walk, I can breath, for the first time in a very long time I HAVE HOPE. I dieted and lost 100 pounds so many times in the past and then gained it plus more back. This time, I know that it is for real. I know I will have tons of hanging skin when this is all done, but so what...I get it cut off or I learn to deal with it. I am alive, I again have quality of life, I am starting to feel feminine and pretty again. I forgot what that was like. My eating has changed, I don't do well with meat of any kind, I don't dump like you hear about some people, but I definitely feel it if I eat stuff that is not healthy for me. I hated protein powder prior to surgery, but now protein shakes are a staple in my diet. I know that it will not always be that way, but for now it is a necessity. I used to hate vegetables and now I crave healthier things. I really don't miss the fast food as I know that I only get to eat so much, and I want it to be quality I am putting into my body. Even after only a couple of months, food really is no longer the priority in my life. If you knew me prior to surgery this would surprise you, as I was one of those people that you see on TV who ate and ate and ate. For the first time since I was probably 9 years old I feel that I am the one in control. What a powerful feeling that is...because for about 31 years I thought I was in control of every aspect of my life except my diet and health. Now I realize that since that part of me was out of balance, every part of me was out of balance. Every birthday candle and star I have wished on, Every New Years Resolution for 31 years has been that I will finally feel like I am in control and that I will be able to lose the weight and get healthy. It is very empowering to know that I am on my way to making that happen. I am saying this at 398 pounds. My birthday is the 11th of January and this is the most incredible gift I could ever receive. If you are unsure like I was, if you are one of those people that read this site religiously because you need to help but are terrified to be one of the statistics, All I can see is this has not been the easiest thing I have ever done, but it has definitely been the healthiest, and most empowering. I learned so much from so many of you. I want to say thank you for your wisdom, faith and courage. This site is amazing and we are so blessed to have it. We Move Towards and Become That Which We Think About....I think I am a pretty amazing Chickie and so are all of you.
Sweetie
I had my surgery on feb 18th ,o8 i started out at 526 and the day of surgery was 509....
Today 10 .5 months later ive lost 202 pounds i weigh 324.
I still am the big girl and im so thankful for the ability to be able to lead a new life.
So i get frustrated when the scales doesnt move or i put a shirt on and it fits (i think) then i walk by a mirror and see my belly hanging out and down.
I think you have done an awesome job and your not that far out.
My dh tells me you have to have patience Lisa,he doesnt understand..
Honey oh my goodness im so sorry about the loss of your son.
If you ever wonna talk let me know,im sending you a cyberhug and to tell you i understand..Keep up the good job..
I had my surgery on feb 18th ,o8 i started out at 526 and the day of surgery was 509....
Today 10 .5 months later ive lost 202 pounds i weigh 324.
I still am the big girl and im so thankful for the ability to be able to lead a new life.
So i get frustrated when the scales doesnt move or i put a shirt on and it fits (i think) then i walk by a mirror and see my belly hanging out and down.
I think you have done an awesome job and your not that far out.
My dh tells me you have to have patience Lisa,he doesnt understand..
Honey oh my goodness im so sorry about the loss of your son.
If you ever wonna talk let me know,im sending you a cyberhug and to tell you i understand..Keep up the good job..
Hey Carrie!
It's good to see you posting! Congratulations on the weight loss so far!! 105 pounds is nothing to sneeze at!!
I'm glad you're feeling so much better, it sounds like you're doing well. As the anniversary of your son's death gets closer, think about how proud he is of you. You're taking control of your life.
You are an awesome woman. You and your family have been through a lot this past year. I wish for you and yours a Healthy, Happy, Peaceful and Prosperous New Year!
You are a pretty amazing Chickie!!
Hugs!
Diane
It's good to see you posting! Congratulations on the weight loss so far!! 105 pounds is nothing to sneeze at!!
I'm glad you're feeling so much better, it sounds like you're doing well. As the anniversary of your son's death gets closer, think about how proud he is of you. You're taking control of your life.
You are an awesome woman. You and your family have been through a lot this past year. I wish for you and yours a Healthy, Happy, Peaceful and Prosperous New Year!
You are a pretty amazing Chickie!!
Hugs!
Diane
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