Just feeling down today

Hi everyone............ I have read many posts where the depression sets in around 3 months. I'm 5 days away from my 3 month anniversary and I can feel it sneeking up on me. I used to take antidepressants before surgery and haven't taken any since then. I feel just a wave of depression coming over me. I've lost almost 75 pounds in 3 months and I feel the same as I did preop, today. I was in a 30/32 top and I bought a 24 the other day & I'm wearing it today. My sister says it still looks too big for me. I feel it's too tight. I thought that maybe this is why I'm feeling like this today is because "it fits" me. It's not baggy (how I used to wear my clothes) or just hanging on me (cuz of surgery). I guess this is something else we have to get used to. I just got back from getting my hair cut and I used to DREAD getting that done. Just being Super MO and sitting in that chair with that damn "cape" on me, with my double chin, I just hated it. Then the little "skinny" girl trying to twirl me around in that damn chair, I always put my foot down to "help" her along. 400 pounds is alot!!! I always just sit there and say to myself, "your huge, you cow." You would think that with a 75 pound weight loss I would of felt a little bit better this time??????? NOPE. The cape is still huge on me and my double chin is still showing, plus my hair is starting to fall out 1 by 1. Whoa is me....................please let all this pass. I have "good" weight loss days and I have "bad" weight loss days. Today is bad. I don't feel like I've lost anything. Well sorry for such a long, rambling, boring post. I'm getting my 3mo pic taken on Tuesday and I will post them. Hoping to lose 3 more pounds by Tuesday to make it 75 total lost in 3 months!!!! Thanks for listening!!!! Carmella -72 pounds in almost 3 MONTHS!!!!

Hi Carmella. I am still pre-op, so I have no words of wisdom to offer you at this time, but I am told that I give great huggs. So this ones for you... {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Carmella}}}}}}}}}}}}}} Hang in there Ruth

Carmella, Have you tried getting a bunch of pics of you and spreading them around the house? That way you can see your improving self with no excuses!! HUGS We are here for you... hang in there

I want to cheer you up and tell you I feel the same way some days and I suppose everyone else does too. The way we feel is ever changing an not a constant fortunately. I have had very slow weight loss but steady progress in a very positive direction health wise. I too still feel fat and am still fat and losing my hair more everyday but all in all I would not go back to the oxygen 24/7, inhalers arthritis meds, blood pressure mes, inability to care for my self, and everyday pretty much being a bad day. We have a lot to be thankful for and the prize will go to the persistant. Hang in there, go hug you shih tzu, I am going to hug mine. Hugs, Sandyd

hi carmella: thanks for sharing. you sound as though you're feeling the exact same way i'm feeling. i try to look for the little milestones - if i focus on the end goal, i get overwhelmed. right now, i'm down over 100 lbs and can still wear the clothes i wore before surgery. friggin incredible. a size 30/32 is incredibly flexible, apparently, because some of them still fit. i think that once the sizes start going down, however, they go down more quickly. LOL your barber story sounds so familiar i want to cry. i hated going to get a haircut so badly i ended up getting a crew cut. at that time i also was having rotator cuff surgery so i really needed the shorter cut, too. but it allowed me to stay away from the beauty shop alot longer. and, at six months out, i'm still losing hair. but i had all my levels checked and they are all right where they should be. and yet, carmella, i'm seeing glimmers of hope. i latch on to any positive i can find and take it a day, or even an hour, at a time. but a part of me really hates that only now, after losing 100+, am i getting to the point at which most wls patients start their journeys. heaven help me, i'm jealous, because they got the surgery so much sooner than i did. gotta go, carmella. if i try to write anymore i'll just cry. but please know that you're not alone. it's not easy, but at least with surgery it'll get easier. hugs, hugs, and more hugs, dorthe

Dorthe, OMG I relate to all you've said! I'm down 100+ and still wearing my 30/32's. Granted they're baggier than before WLS, but still what I'm wearing. I've just not had the nerve to shop for anything yet ... the spector of so many years of struggling to find clothes that will fit still looms over me, and I just can't face going into a store and trying on clothes to find out what size I might *really* be. I know it's just a leap we all have to make, but right now, I think I like having clothes bag on me some. Too many years of wearing things that were tight. Make sense to anyone else? And your comment about just now getting to the point where most other WLS'ers are beginning their journeys is on the mark for me too. Just wanted to let you know you're not alone on that one. Myra

(((((((Carmella))))))))), I'm sorry I dont have any wise words of wisdom...........but I do have a headfull of various shades of red clown hair(none natural) with grey and brown roots. Its very long and in the summer i refer to it as my 'dead raccoon hair". I get to wear this lovely "do" because I am too stubborn to go to the hairdressers and get it dyed all one color and cut. I absolutely hate having to sit there and stare at myself for however long it takes to do the job. Carmella, did you stop your antidepressant all at once or wean off of it? I have taken them for a long time and have been off of them for a few months at a time. I know from whence I speak . Maybe now is not a good time to stop them? Just a thought. PLEASE dont be so hard on yourself. You are accomplishing an amazing transformation and that takes a LOT of strength. You are SUPER WOMAN!!

Hi, Please know what you are going through is very normal. Our bodies have experienced a lot of trauma. What happens at about 3 to 4 months is called "hibernation sydrome". If you get a chance go to Yahoo and there are some groups like "Gastric Bypass Info Central" there that have lots of info about this. After I had my surgery I felt pretty good. At about 3 months out the depression and fatigue kicked in. I already suffered from depression before surgery and have been on meds for it since I was a teenager but this was nothing I had ever expereinced before. It lasted about 5 weeks. I questioned myself as to why I had the surgery. I thought it was the worse thing I had ever done. There were days when I just wanted to lay down and never wake up. I was in constant communications with my doctor, nutritionist, and other post-ops who told me it would get better and it eventually did. I'm 11 months post-op and haven't really experienced the bad body image thing that much. I was wearing a 30/32 pre-op and now I'm in 22/24. I've been just thrilled that I can now go into Walmart or "regular" stores and buy things. What I'm beginning to feel bad about though is the extra skin problem. Even pre-op most of my weight was in my panni area and as I've lost weight of course this has gotten worse. But I'm trying not to focus on that to much. I'm just thankful that I'm able to get around better and enjoy life and expereince "normal" things with my husband. Everything will get better. Do you have access do any type of mental health facilities in your area? This might be something that might help you. Just hang in there and be sure to take your supplements and do all the other things we are supposed to do in order to be successful. Sincerely, Dawn Post-Op 9/23/04 399/245/200 Pre-Op BMI:69 Current BMI:45

Hi Carmella, I am sorry that you are feeling down today. I can't speak for anyone else but I had my time with depression and was able to identify it as you are doing right now. I believe that having WLS will change us physically however; WLS is a very emotional process and we have to learn how to adjust our mindset to go along with our changing new bodies. I have days were I see weight loss and feel light on my feet, feeling pretty good about myself. Then, I have days when I look in the mirror and think when am I going to lose this weight ... I'm still fat. There are times it comes to my mind to attempt to do something I was not able to do and experience a WOW moment ... I can do it and I am happy as a lark and there are days I test myself and don't succeed and I get down on myself and cry. Well, as time goes on I have to remember the condition I was in when I first began this journey and compare it to where I am now and that is when things don't seem to be as bad I thought they were. Plus, I know that things are going to get better for me if I continue to stick to the post op plan. Okay, from were I'm sitting this is what I see ... 1. You're 75 lbs. lighter than you were when you started your journey. 2. You have gone from size 30/32 to a size 24 or possibly smaller. 3. You have a loving sisters' support. You are doing a great job Carmella! Hopefully after you see your 3 month pics you will really see the difference. Now, when if came to my hair I had a bad moment and shaved off all of my hair last month because it kept falling out. Currently, I have about a half of inch of hair all over my head and bought a wig which is too hot to wear. I do not recommend doing this ... I look like a milk dud. Well I hope and pray that your day gets better. Georgeann

Hi CArmella, Sorry to hear you're having difficulties right now ... but just hang in and know they'll pass. I took an anti-depressant for three years before surgery, and wanted to quit it in the months leading up WLS, but my PCP advised against it. He advised I needed to give myself time post-op to adapt to all the changes in my life before stopping the med. At 3 months post-op, I asked him again about stopping the med since I thought I was doing great. He still advised against it, explaining my body is going through so many changes there's no need to complicate the situation further by discontinuing the anti-depressant therapy. His advice was to wait til I'm about 6-8 months post-op and then possibly stop the med, so I'm going follow his advice. To me, it's just a pill I don't think I need anymore, but (shrug) I'm no doctor. I spoke with my present WLS doc about this too, and he agreed with my PCP. Be sure and talk with your doctor about how you're feeling. But also, feel good about how well you've done so far, I think it's amazing! Blessings, Myra PS I totally relate to the hair salon experience ... I was over 400lbs too. On the one hand, it was nice to "hide" my body under that cape, but then I'd catch sight of myself in the mirror and just cringe and want to really become invisible. Hang in, Carmella, and be well. M