Bad News

Hi Mike, Thank you for your post. It just goes to show that there are risks for everything. I thought it was a little strange that they said that she didn't want the surgery and that the doctors "made her have it?" They also ended the post in a kinda weird way too...kinda like think carefully before you do this to yourself. Am I reading a little too much into this Mike? I'm a pretty big girl myself.. and I have never had a doctor try to talk me into this surgery. If anything, they have tried to talk me out of having it...you know..do it the good old fashion way of "healthy eating and exercise" been there, done that, bought the t-shirt. My heart still goes out to the family. I'm with you, sometimes you gotta do what you've gotta do--this seems to be the way I need to go. Take care Mike, and good luck on the pre-op stuff--you'll be fine! Virginia

This is extremely sad. I'd sure like to know who the surgeon was and check up on his creditials. But, you know, this really doesn't change anything for us...I mean, we've all been told from the get-go that death could be one of the consequences of this surgery. We've been told there could be leaks and that is why they do leak tests. (It sure makes you want to keep on your toes and on your doctor's back to make sure they do everything right!) Like Mike said, if this is the time that the Good Lord plans to take us home then there is nothing that we can do about it anyway. I guess that brings us back around to the beginning....is this surgery God's will for us in our lives...if yes, then we needn't worry because either way He will take care of us. If it's not His will for us, then we should not step out of His will. Thanks, Willby, for bringing this to our attention. It probably didn't hurt any of us to re-examine our motives in having this surgery, and like most of us it is to prolong our lives and be healthy once again. God bless each of you and may God guide and protect each of us in this surgery and in recovery.

It is very sad; she was such a beautiful woman. All I can say is... look at how many of us are alive and much better off than we were before the surgery. I know I feel that way. I agree with what Amber said, for me, the chance of death was one I was willing to take in order to get some form of life back for myself, and it has been worth it. Death happens, but in my mind, there is more than one kind of death. There's physical death, and there's "spiritual" death, and quite honestly, before my surgery, I was "spiritually" dead. I had nothing inside to keep me going anymore. Don't let this tragedy scare you away from achieving a better life for yourself. My thoughts are with Angel's family and friends.... Take Care, Tanja

Willby, The only way is forward ... if our lives are at risk if we don't have the surgery ... if we're in the situation it's "do it or die" ... then there's nothing we can do but put our faith in whatever higher power we believe in and go forward. I'm not what I'd call a hugely religious person, but I do have a basic faith. I've been a single mom since my divorce in 1976, raised two great daughters alone, and made it through on my own. At each dire turn, when I've been worried or feeling desperately inadequate to what life was throwing at me, I've just turned it over to God with a simple "I need to give this to you Lord and know You'll see me through". And EVERYtime, He has. This is what I did when I was trying for surgery, this is what I did as I was being wheeled away to surgery, and this is what I did when I had so many complications after surgery ... and He saw me through each time. I sat down the night before surgery and wrote a "here's what to do..." list for my daughters just in case something didn't go right ... I left it on my desk in an envelope that night wondering if I'd be back. I was totally scared. But I was in such bad shape I knew they'd be needing that list anyway if I didn't do something about my health, so I got my things in order, said my prayer, and went forward. This seems like an inadequate response but it's from the heart and is truly what worked for me. Blessings and ((((((((hugs))))))))))) to you too, Myra

wow if that doesn't bring someone to a reality check I don't know what will. This has brought me to tears and made me go over my list of pros and cons for me to continue on this journey. I have to give this to the Lord and know that he will bring me through this. I too have 3 children and have been so afraid lately of leaving them without a mother as well, but I know that this is the right decision for me and God will bring me through it. Just my .02cents Take care Anita

(((((((HUGS))))))) Willby I had my consultation today and I asked about leakages and how we'd know if we were having one. My surgeon said that she puts in a drainage tube between the two pieces of divided stomach. That tube leads out of our body and empties into an external bulb. We watch that bulb to any change in the color of the fluid. That will tell us if we have a leak. And having a leak doesn't mean certain death. She said they often simply start you on IV antibiotics and allow the leak to heal itself. She said that sometimes the leak is so tiny that they'd not be able to see it easily AND going in and messing about is likely to only cause more leaks. As for the blockages, just pay attention to your body. Don't assume its just gas. We women have tendencies to not say anything about a strange new pain because we don't want to be a bother. BE A BOTHER. I am so sorry to hear about her passing. It is alarming and it is sad. But stay focused and possitive. Brandy

Hello Everyone: This is very sad and I feel deeply for Angel's family, especially the children. I don't think that anyone should be talked into any type of surgery. It is just plain wrong. I too had my consultation today and tonight I told my sister (my best friend) what I was planning for the first time. She was very hurt that I did not tell here before but I needed to make this decision on my own without her feelings getting in the way. The reality is that both of us are willing to take this risk in order to be the little old ladies in our eighties meeting every day at 10:00 am for morning coffee. I know if I do nothing, I may not make it to 50 let alone 80. It may be worth the risk to lose 10 years to gain 40.