Hi Everyone...

Hello, I decided to send this post to create a little conversation. So lets chat a little... Where do you live? What made you decide to have the surgery? What type of surgery did you have or going to have? Are you happy with your choice? OK - I'll start.... Hi Everyone!!! My name is Monica I am 34 divorced with no children. I live in King of Prussia, PA which is a suburb of Philadelphia. I decided to have this surgery due to a long history of obesity in my family and early deaths in my family. I did alot of research and when I found out that my company purchased an insurance plan that does not cover the surgery period... I was heart broken. With that I first looked into having my surgery done south of the border in Mexico because it costs $12,000 there. Then I decided to go to an open house at the Barix clinic here in the Philly suburbs... when I was there and saw the program that they had I was so impressed. And in fact for the first time in my life I felt somethings that I have never felt - first was hope, second was a light at the end of the tunnel to help me end the battle of my horrible obesity. I actually got into my car that night and cried because I could not believe what was happening to me and the feelings I was having. It was wonderful and still is wonderful to feel that sense of HOPE that this is what I have been looking for. I had my consult with Dr. Kaczmarski - and I am going to have the "Gold Standard surgery" which is the Open RNY. I felt that I wanted to have mine open so that they could get in there to see if everything was ok. I know it sounds silly but I just know I will feel better in my mind that they have a clear view of everything. Things have been challenging - I lost my older brother while this whole process was going on due to cancer. He passed away on July 4th of this year he was only 40 years old. Cancer is such an awful thing. And I am happy with my choice to have this surgery. I know deep in my heart if I don't have this surgery I will be laying next to my brother with in a few years. And I decided that I don't want that so I need to make SERIOUS lifestyle changes. And if that means I have to have my digetive system re-routed then so be it. For my brother there was nothing more that they could do to help me. But I can certainly fix the problem with being a yo-yo dieter, complusive overeater and closet eater. I am just going to need all the support I can get so thats why I am here on this message board. Trust me - I am not saying this to be mean but I think some of you will understand what I mean. I like the PA board its just sometimes its hard to be here desperately needing to have this surgery done watching all these people with a BMI under 50 going in and out with in a short amount of time. I like alot of the people there - I know its me and that I just have a hard time with it. Because I know for me since I am bigger I had to have a lot more tests done which takes so much longer. Sometimes I feel like ok - ***Bang Head Here*** or going AAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH bleep, bleep, bleep... LOL Thanks for reading and listening, Monica F.

Sounds good to me Monica.... Here it goes... I was born a poor small black child lol (not really, I just love the movie "the jerk").. I just turned 45 years old in july along with my "evil" twin lol and I live in Sumner Georgia. It has one store and not even a red light. I live right here at the Peanut capital of the world lol. I am right at 400lbs and only five five. SO Im as wide as am tall. I have lost both parents at a young age due to heart attacks and had to grow up in foster homes. My dad had just turned 42 and moma was 57. So I know what its like to be alone and depressed but seemed to turn to food for any occasion I could find. I can tell you If I DONT do something soon, I will not be here to see my grandbabies grow up. I cant seem to do it anymore. I have tryed and tryed and now Im just tired.... I think that I got to this point by just giving up on all else that matters to me. Going anywhere, doing anything, cant hardly walk when I do go anywhere. And can hear me coming with me breathing like Im running from something.I dont interact with people anymore and my children are really worried about me, not to mention my husband. I have always been Obese but the years pass and I get bigger. I am getting the RNY lap. Or I hope they can do it lap. I have had gallbladder out that way but was somewhat smaller then ???? So thats my story and Im stickin to it lol... Hugs Margaret.< My sense of humor is all I have because never have to worry about it not fitting ....

Margaret, You forgot one thing you hvae your family and a good heart. You are a very funny lady that is wise and wonderful. Things are gonna happen for you just hang in there and do what they tell you to do for your medical clearances. Great to hear your story!!!! Monica F. PS - Don't feel bad I am 5'3" and I weigh 370.

HI I AM CANDY I LIVE IN LOGANVILLE GA I AM 34 I HAVE ONE SON 14 AM DIVORECED I HAVE BEEN OVERWEIGHT ALL MY LIFE I AM 5 6 AND WEIGH AROUND 400 SUX I HAVE HAD LOTS OF MEDICAL PROBLEMS LATELY SINCE LOOKING INTO SURGERY BUT HAS NOT DETOURED ME I HAVE A WONDERFUL SURGEON DR MAYNARD AND AM HAVING THE DS DONE IN 6 MONTHS MY LOVELY INSURANCE MAKES YOU BE UNDER SURGEON PROGRAM FOR 6 MONTHS B4 SURGERY TO SHOW YOU R COMMITTED I GUESS I THINK IT IS JUST TO BE A PAIN IN MY A$$ LOL I HAVE LOOKED INTO ALL TYPES OF WEIGHT LOSS SURGERY I AM GOING WITH DS DUE TO THE HIGH MAINTENANCE RATE ESP WITH PEOPLE WHO HAVE HIGH BMI THE STATS R WOW I KNOW IT IS A MORE SEVERE SURGERY BUT I WILL BE LESS LIKELY TO HAVE DUMPING AND MAINTENANCE IS HIGHER SO I AM VERY CONTENT WITH MY CHOICE JUST WAITING FOR THE 6 MONTHS AND HOPE I DON'T FALL APART PHYSICALLY BY THEN LOL HAVE A GREAT THURSDAY LOVE CANDY

Hi Candy, Thank you so much for sharing your story. I understand about having health problems that you realise you did not have until you had your medical clearances done. It's certainly a good thing that you decided to have this surgery or you would not have known about these other problems. over time after surgery most of your medical problems will go away! Yipppeeeeee Monica F.

Hi Monica, I live outside of Butler, Indiana. I am having an RNY in 32 days, but who's counting? I am having it at St. Vincent's in Carmel, Indiana. I have heard such good comments about Dr. RoseMarie Jones doing RNY as LAP, that I wanted to go with that there. The reason that I have decided to have this surgery is that it is really my last choice...I'm at the end of the line. I have went from being an active women to almost homebound (I would be if not for my husband & kids). Believe it or not, I used to be a Weigh****cher Discussion Leader! I am still a 'Lifetime Member' ...I weigh 435! Thanks for starting our little conversation! God bless!

Hi Cynthia, Its great to hear from you! Wow things are just around the corner for you. And you are going to do fantastic! Its a good thing that you have your family there to keep you going. I live alone and the thing that keeps me going is my job. I have to go to work and make a living so I can keep the roof over my head. But there is not much I can do. Plus when I get depressed I hibernate which is not good either. But I know for you all of us on this board its all going to get better!!! Monica F.

Hello Monica !!And welcome... First I want to say that your story was very hard to read, it hit close to home for me. I'm 29 and living in sunny California. Been obese most of my life. I have been trying to get surgery for almost three years. I actualy worked for an HMO... thought I could get the "inside track" Well I learned that back then a person could DIE fighting the insurance companies. But thanks to the efforts of many brave people who have went before us... things have been changing..... I total feel you when you talk about people with BMI under 50, I have actualy met people face to face and they Gained weight on purpose just to get surgery. I hope to have the Duodenal Switch you could look it up, its very interesting. But its up to the doctors, still I have looked at all the options. And no matter what proceedure is done, its up to me to make it work. A girlfriend of mine had RNY surgery last year, but she has not been commited to the program and has lost very little weight. I'm trying to be supportive. I think you really have to change your hole life. I'm so ready. Woshing you all the best in your journey. GOD BLESS YOU P.S sorry about my spelling.

Hi Katherine, We don't worry about spelling here ;) Besides I knew exactly what you meant! I am amzed that anyone would ever want to gain weight to have this surgery done. To me this is my last resort. I have done everything else known to man. I think that people take this surgery to lightly that they think its and easy thing. When people say that I want to smack them. This is a MAJOR lifestyle change!!! I remember I want to the open house at Barix and there was this one lady who asked a very dumb question. She said I lead a very busy life how am I suppose to fit this into my life. the doctor jsut said then this surgery is not for you if that is the way you are going to look at it. You have to take care of you on this journey and work your life around you and your new lifestlye changes. As Forest Gump would say - thats all I have to say about that. Monica F.

Hi Monica, I am from Grand Forks, ND (right on the border with MN). I am 35 years old, single with no children (yet... I hope to chnage both of those things), and I have 3 beautiful cats. I have been big pretty much all my life, except for a few times where I actually lost significant amounts of weight on my own (only to gain it back and more each time). I started looking into the surgery for the first time about 12 years ago, but for the last 20 years or so, I have struggled with horrible depression, and I never really had the ambition to follow-through with all the work necessary to go into something like this. I've checked into it about 3 times during this span... the 1st time I gave up before I started, the 2nd time, I gave up after the first rejection letter, adnt he 3rd time, I gave up when I found out that the surgery wasn't included in my insurance plan. The last time was in January of this year, and for some reason, I was determined to do it this time. I worked very hard on all the requirements of the program and got all the information the insurance company needed. I didn't give up, and the fact that I had something to focus on made me feel better and more alive than I have in many years. All my work paid off because I got my surgery, and it has been well worth it. I didn't necessarily do it because I had people die from obesity (although pretty much everyone in my family is larger... I am one of the biggest - or was, I should say); however, my paternal grandparents died of cancer and had other problems such as diabetes and heart disease that I'm sure were linked to being overweight (although they didn't focus as much on weight at the time they died). I did it for me, mainly, to be healthy - physically and mentally. Also, I know that my parents were concerned about my health, too. I knew going into this that losing weight was not going to cure my depression (because it hadn't in the past), but I thought it would at least give me a better outlook on life. I knew that if I felt better about my physical appearance, I wouldn't hide out by myself as much and that I would become more physically and socially active. I had the laproscopic RNY at the end of May. Fortunately, about a year and a hal*****hey started performing the surgery in the town where I live, so I did not have to travel. I felt very comfortable with my surgeon and his ability to perform this type of surgery. I had the option of the Lap Band, but chose RNY because of its permanency. Also, it is their policy to do all surgeries laproscopically if they are physically able, and with me, they were. I am grateful for that because it was hard enough recovering from that, let alone a large incision; although if that had been my only option, I would have done it because I wanted it very badly. I have had virtually no complications - a few little problems here and there are to be expected, and I am very happy that I went through with it. The thing that amazes me most about the whle thing is that everything actually worked out for me. I was always under the impression that nothing was ever going to turn out the way I wanted it to in my life, and this experience has finally proven me wrong. This is pretty much the only message board I go to. It bothers me too when people who are the weight I am now (after having lost nearly 100#) are just starting out on their surgical journey. I know it shouldn't matter because people can have the same feelings of shame and guilt, etc. regardless of what they weigh, but it just seems strange to me that they feel so "fat" at 240# when I feel "thin" at the same weight. However, I have always been an advocate of not comparing people's pain... saying this person must be in so much more pain than that person because he/she went through this, etc. Situations effect people so differently, and everyone is entitled to their own feelings and the magnitude of those feelings really can't and shouldn't be compared. that's just my feeling, and I try to remind myself of that everytime I hear a "lightweight" say something Well, I've rambled on and on... Take Care, Tanja