AM I WRONG???

OK, I posted this on the main board, but I'd like your opinions here as well. So, here goes...... I responded to a post made last night where someone was asking what she would look like post-op, and some people were kind of negative, she should be concerned about health, vanity is not the reason to do this, etc. So, maybe I am wrong, but at least I am honest. I really don't think there is anything wrong with wanting to be thin. I was always big, but never unhealthy. My blood pressure has always been 120/72, my cholesterol was 145, never had heartburn, bone aches, joint pain, sleep apnea, had pulmonary functiona and capacity better than 100%, never out of breath walking up stairs (and I live in a 4th floor walk-up). Was this because I was healthy? Maybe so, but I did not work at it. I had very bad eating habits, did not sleep enough, smoked way too much, worked way too hard, and never drank socially (if I was drinking, you can believe I was going to get falling down drunk). Socially, my life has been great. I have a great job, education and friends who think I am the coolest person on earth, fat or thin. In my life, no one has EVER made fun of me about my weight, not in school, work, in a bar or on the street. So, no, I was not in the least concerned about my health, and, to be honest, I am not today, either. Since WLS, my eating habits have improved, but everything else is the same. My motivation for WLS? I wanted to ride "Superman: Ride of Steel" at 6 Flags this summer, and knew I could not lose weight on my own. It's not really just that, but the basic reason was that I did not fit comfortably in places I wanted to be. Is that a bad reason? Maybe to someone, but it is still my reason, and I think a lot of people are fooling themselves if they say their only reason for WLS is to improve their health. I think most people are thinking about the social impact of their weight loss. Maybe they are thinking about both, but I don't think anyone's reason for wanting WLS is a bad one, and they are all different. The point is, even is someone is not concerned about their health, their health may still improve, and even is someone really is truly only concerned about their health, they will still lose weight, so I think it all comes out in the wash. So, I admit it, I am a little vain and selfish. So be it. That's just me. Anyone want to join me? Carrie P.S. I have lost 55 pounds and gone from a 32 to a (getting loose) 24 and plan on being in a 22 by next weekend while I am riding SIX FLAGS RIDE OF STEEL!!!!!!

Carrie, I agree with you, although I did not read the other posts on the main message board. I had some health problems, but not as serious as others might have. Yes, I want to be healthy, but I also want to be able to fit into places that I want to be, like you said... one of those places being society, in general. And in order to fit in there, let's face it, you cannot be obese by most people's standards. I'm tired of being fat and feeling like I am ugly and have to hide away. I'm tired of wearing "fat" clothes and not being able to shop for regular sizes. I'm tired of being stared at and made fun of because of my size, and yes, I want to be "thin". Perhaps this is vanity, but maybe it is also a way of getting healthy - Mentally Healthy. People should not judge; who's to say that one person's reason for having surgery (or losing weight by any other method, for that matter) is better/worse than another's. No one can say what is "right" or what is "wrong" for YOU except YOU (with the help and guidance of supportive, knowledgable people). Just my opinion. Take Care, Tanja

Carrie, dont beat yourself up over other peoples comments. Take it from someone who knows. I havent wore jeans or even pants in years. YES, I want the satisfaction of wearing things that I have never wore and sure do want to sit in places that my @#%&**^ doesnt fit now. It is my health also. I cant hardly go far walking or do things hardly and my breathing sounds like I just saw brad Pitt but looking nice in appearance is also a reward that we ALL will be working hard for to. Its only human.. Hugs Margaret

I don't think wanting to be what is basically considered "normal" in our society is being vain and selfish at all. Wanting to be able to do things that all average size people do and wear cute clothes, feel good about yourself and be able to have a life is not vain and selfish. I don't know if the people who were upset about that are just used to having to defend themselves or what, but I totally agree with you.

I totally agree with the others posts. I do have some small medical issues, achy joints and back..that type of thing but a HUGE reason for me is the visual in the mirror. I have lived nearly 30 yrs in this big fat shell and it's time to shed it and do some LIVIN'. My personality has NEVER matched my outside (does that make sense to anyone?). Here's what I told my best friend...I want to be a HOOCHIE.... Well probably not but as close as I can get... I have three children (9,6,and3) I want to take them to theme parks ( I LOVE rides and haven't been on one since I was 13), go on picnics, the beach (without having someone bring a towel to the shoreline so I don't have to walk in front of everyone in my suit), go on bike rides with my husband (he is a cyclist and will ride 60 + miles and I can't even dream of keeping up with him now), SHOP ANY FRICKIN' WHERE I WANT, GO INTO VICTORIA SECRETS and NOT LOOK LIKE A FOOL, sorry ladies but being honest here...Improve the ol sex life... etc....my list goes on and on. Basically I think Yes people get Wls for health reasons and I also think that those same people (even if they won't admit it) get it for the visual effects too. Carrie Have a GREAT time on the ride..(ride one for me) and forget the rest!!! Jamie

carrie, all i can say is "wow"! you have been so fortunate to have had a really normal life while being overweight. I read something on the main board a while back. someone wanted to know if you would still have the surgery even if you didnt lose weight but your health improved. I thought that was a really good question.......and my answer was NO!! if i cant be thinner......i dont want to be healthier. PS: there are a LOT of aggressive people on that main board thats why i hide here. PLUS.........i love you guys!!! willby

Of course there is nothing wrong with your reason for wanting to have wls. BUT most people that have it are very unhealthy and many do have to improve their health. Nobody should flame you for your reasons, but on the other hand perhaps you shouldn't make assumptions for people's motivations either. You must have struck a nerve. Health problems due to obesity are very physically and emotionally painful. Hugs, Loris

Hi Carrie , I agree with the above posts. I've only got sleep apnea and other than that i am a health "fat" person. I am doing this so I am physically more able to do things with my kids like run and play and of course my boys want to ride the wild roller coasters and there is no way I can fit right now. So yes I do have some vanity reasons, but we all have come to our own decisions to have this surgery for many different reasons. Opinions are like A** holes everyone has one and I wouldn't worry about what others say or think. Take care, Ms vain and selfish #2 AKA Anita

Carrie, I can understand your point of view and where you are coming from. I myself do have health problems but I admit, I want to look in the mirror and see myself free from rolls and wearing a form fitting knock out dress, wearing heels all dolled up. I do think you need to consider one point though. You might not have had those health issues that someone else has but if you continue to go down the road of obesity, you WILL have those issues. I don't think your appearance is a bad reason to have surgery but I do think you need to think about the future as well. A woman I know who is the same size as myself, wants to have gastric bypass surgery. I asked her her reasons and she told me (a bit graphic here) so her husband could pick her up and &*^% her while he was still standing up. Now to me, thats a really unrealistic reason to have surgery. There was really no other reason why she wanted it.. or she just couldn't admit the real reason. I know for myself this surgery is going to be terribly difficult. I am very comfortable with my appearance. NOT my weight, but my appearance. I get compliments, I get flirted with despite the fact I weigh 300lbs. I am terrified of losing the weight myself because I will not be the same. I will have skin hanging in places that I don't want to think about and my boobs will sit on my knees. Its a very scary proposition for me. Although death and living a life like I am now is more scary. Amy