Sister-in-law Problems.............

Hello everyone. This has been weighing on me heavy for a few weeks now and I just need someone to talk/listen to me and give me any words of widsom. My SIL has been my best friend for 10 years now. She is over weight too. We spend a HUGE amount of time together. Hell we even work at the same job now and ride to work together. We have a 45min drive to work. Talk on the phone everyday/night, have campers at the same campground, go to dinner, shopping, ect......You get the picture. Let me explain this a little bit. We work at a homecare agency. We schedule home health aides into the homes of the elderly. Well about 4 weeks ago, I was oncall and was looking through the schedules and found 19 errors with them. So I took post it notes and made little notes to the sides of the pages where there were errors that needed to be corrected. Now me and her have the same job title. I'm not her boss/manager, but I have worked here 2 other occasions and am back again, but she started there in April and I didn't start bac****il June. I was told by my owner that I know how to run this office (I used to be the Office Mgr.) and if I see a problem for me to take care of it. We do have an office mgr. now but she has noooo idea what she is doing. So I went to work the next day and told my OM of the mistakes on the schedules and she just told me to bring it to my SIL attention for her to correct this. So I sat down with her while she flipped through them and made the corrections. Well, my SIL she was Pissed!!!! She had attitude, banging stuff, snubbing me, not speaking to me. We even drive 45min to work and she won't say a word to me or on the way home. We car pool. Come on!!!! Nothing has been said. She hasn't called me or anything. As some of you know I had foot surgery, so I haven't been to work in over a week, so I haven't even seen her. I called in to work the day after my surgery and she didn't even ask me how it went or how I was feeling, she put me on HOLD!!!!!! She has told me in the past that she is jealous of me. Having GBP and the weight I'm losing so fast and how little I eat. She does have the option of GBP, but she is too scared. I think she is jealous of me and was looking for an excuse to end the relationship with me because she can't deal with the weight loss. We have 3 other friends that have had the surgery and she doesn't speak to them now either. MY PROBLEM: Is this my fault? Should I call her and see WHY is she mad at me? Should I just let it go and move on? Should I end the car pool and drive seperate? What should I do? Nothing? That you all for listening to me!!!! By the way, I am looking for a different job now too, I can't work with her. I have figured that much out!!!! ~~Carmella~~

Carmella, wow! i had the same exact thing happen to me. Me and my older sis are home health aides. I started the job first and then got her hired after 3 years. she came in and took over. that didnt bother me.......its when she was slacking on her job that I had to bring it to her attention. OMGODDESS!! not a good thing. we didnt speak for 6 months!!! the only way we got over it was when the client died. I know this wasnt much help.but wanted to tell you anyways. take care have a great weekend willby

here is my 2 cents worth. its not your fault but try inviting them to dinner and cards or something non threatening and see if they accept. then i would just start again and put it behind the both of you...dont know if that can be done but its worth a try. you open yourself to her and be the bigger person. if this doent clear the air then at least you know you tried. diane in minnesota

Hi Carmella, I hate to see you going through this. BUT....Seems like to me she is just not taking you getting your weight under control and having a whole new aspect on life ,and she continues to be where she is still overweight doing maybe not what she could to lose more. let it go and go on with your life. You have alot Im sure going on in your life besides petty school like grudges. It is so childish for her to react like that. It is just your job you were doing. Now as far as her being your sister in law, I can understand that it is a problem. She is in the family and you have to have some type of unity there. Just chill and let her blow smoke somewhere else a while lol. I have come to the conclusion this year as I turned 45 that I dont have to take crap like I used to years ago. I had the mother in law from hell. And bless her heart she is in a nursing home now and her son(my husband) and myself are the ONLY ones that does for her. I have literally taken out her teeth and brushed them for her. If you would have told me years ago, that I would have done ANYTHING like that , I would have laughed at you. But years change and you wise up and you feel sorry for ignorant people.I am the only daughter in law LEFT. My hubbies brothers(3) had wives and none stuck it out with her because her sons NEVER done anything wrong and never approved of any of the DIL's. So go on and get another job if that is what you wish and if you dont think you should ride with her, dont... I dont personally see how she can ride with ya so far and no talking lol.. hugs margaret..

Hi Carmella, Playing the devil's advocate, maybe this has nothing to do with your successful weight loss. Maybe the problem is that you reported her errors to the office manager instead of going to her first. I don't pretend to know your work protocal, but at mine, that might cause hard feelings. I'm a teacher and I always get upset when a parent goes to the principal with a concern/complaint about something that happened in my classroom. I never understand why they do this since they know the complaint will get back to me anyway. Nearly always it is based on a miscommunication from child to parent that can easily be remedied without administrative intervention. Maybe your sister-in-law feels you were trying to get her in trouble, even though that wasn't your intent. You need to talk it out as it impacts your work AND personal life. Good Luck, Sherry