a little embarassed, mostly relieved...

i'm ashamed of myself, y'all. i've been withdrawn and non-communicative now for about a week. i was dreading my endometrial biopsy and for some reason didn't feel i should burden anyone with my concerns. but i've gotten through it and would prefer to not have to do it again. it hurt, (anybody want a shot of novacaine in their FURNACE) but not as badly as i thought it would. results will be back next week some time. the hysterectomy (barring any bad results from the biopsy) will take place on November 7th. I had been hoping to get this done and over with before my next monthly but that's not gonna happen, so, it is what it is. i've been lurking, everyone, and appreciate all the positives and caring and love i've been reading about. you're all such a great group. i hope it's ok if i join in again as i'm able. i think it's a sign of my stunted emotional growth that i withdraw instead of seeking support. some day i'll learn (i hope). on a more positive note - if you're still reading this - i had a wow moment this week. i took my first bubble bath in 14 years. i haven't been this size since i had daughter number two. so i finally got up the courage, tried the tub, fit into it (with water), and luxuriated in the feeling. i had my book, a glass of vino, bubbles, and quiet. it was darn near a spiritual experience and i fully intend to repeat it soon. so that's my story, peeps, and i'm sticking with it. hope you can all forgive and understand. thanks, in advance. dorthe

Dothe: Isn't that tub wunnerful??? I love it. Me and Calgon escape nightly now. I had a uterine biopsy 2 years ago and OMG. The new gyn was convinced because I was smo I had cancer. Quack, and on to 2nd opinion. The 2nd gyn said he could not get a clear view and felt I needed it(biopsy with NO pain meds) for a good test instead of just a pap smear. (I had severe uterine bleeding and took medroxyprogesterone for a time). Afterwards, I said 'could you have not given me a little something for pain'? I got 2 Advil. Yea, right, that helped. But he was honest and I felt like he was not discriminating. The 2nd time I saw him was for pre op and he was very excited for me and had a newer device for my size. ( He also supplied toliet seat hats for urine specimens) It was a Pap Light and was like $40 xtra but he said he helped in the sample and viewing much better. I asked for it again this year even with a weight loss. I also have had lighter regular periods since wls, thank God. Reminds us all to research and ask for what we need, and to educate our doctors. I understand withdrawing and lurking... we are just glad you are back! ~Tina

I've had the ecc and several other nasty procedures. I love when they tell you to take a deep breath and that you might feel "pressure" LOL yeah ok.... I hope all goes well for you and it's nice to see ya back!

I with ya on the quacky docs! Lets go up their nether regions with no numbing for a 'sample' and tell them they'll feel some 'pressure'! I think their opinions would change rather quickly! I understand the withdrawing totally. We'll be here when your ready. Glad you 'took the plunge' and tried the bubble bath. I knew you could do it! Can't wait until I can do it too! Huggs, Ruth

WB Dorthe, you've been missed! (((hugs))) So sorry you've been through so much lately, and congratulations on your WOW moment ... er ... interlude. Sounds heavenly! Myra

Hi Dorthe, It's O.K. to be alittle unsocial "lurking" once in awhile..just as long as it isn't for very long. I just had an endo-biopsy a couple of weeks ago. I go in on Friday to hear the results...and "discuss the treatment" I'll probably have to go on birth control pills to help regulate my visits from "Aunt Flo". I'm sick of all of this stuff. I'm 46 years old. 5 years ago I would had done anything for a chance to have another baby....but I am 46 years old...whats the point??? Don't you hate lying on that table thingy, and with every move you are ripping the paper they lined the table with. Oh yea..they give you that little paper sheet that covers half of one leg....and don't get me started on the dreaded paper gowns!!!!! Congrads on you WOW moment..a real bath????with candles????with bubbly(Bubbles I mean..I don't drink) ahhhhhhhhhhhh! Calgon take me away! Hugs Virginia Willy

glad to see you back. we have missed you. by the way when the doctor came in did he introduce himself as ...... Dr. so and so at your cervics? hehe sorry im sure he was dialated to meet you..... ok ok im done diane in minnesota

Hello Dorthe, Thanks for the good vibes you are sending my way for Friday. I'm not nervous because they called me to tell me no cancer----thank you God....i just know I've got to listen to my gyno's lectures on how losing weight would be the "cure all" for all my gyno problems...you know, as if skinny women NEVER get endometreos and period irregularities...right? I hope you get your female stuff "shut-down" like you want...we gals have but in our time for sure right???? Hugs, Virginia

(((((((((((((((DORTHE))))))))))))))))))), So glad youre feeling better. We miss you when youre not here...........especially when youre feeling bad. Now about that............GOOD FOR YOU!!!!! I can only imagine the joy we'll find in the little things that "normal-sized" people take for granted. I cant wait to take a without needing a crane to lift me out. keeping my fingers crossed for you Dorthe! willby

Hey Dorthe, Glad you are back in touch with us. Always remeber, We all ALL here for ya..(some are more here and some are more gone than others, you know Willby) But we all have had situations where we need some support if not to just say,, You'll do fine, dont worry, we are here for ya... And the tub man.. MAJOR step huh? I still can take baths but thats because I went and got a clawfoot tub for the bathroom. I tell ya its the best and BIGGER than most normal sizes. It was made in 1948 and we refurished it.It was solely for my bedroom/bathroom..;o). Hang in there Dorthe.. Hugs Margaret