so lonley

why do I feel so alone. I am lost in this walk on earth no one understands but you guys but you are all so far away. I need hugs and laughs, have not done that in a long time. my life just goes by day by day with nothing in it to make me happy. yea I am losing the lbs but were is the happy that comes with. that my child tuches me now and says yuck mommy that feels funny the skin that hangs. now I have no friends I stayed hiddin for so long ever one gave up on me. I am lost and all a lone I miss life or what I guess was life the fat keept me from what every one called life dont even want to get out of bed any more YES I KNOW I AM DEPRESSED i have been that way most of my life. I have a guy across the street that is making my life HELL mooing alike a cow ever time I walk out my door saying things with my kids standing there makes me feel like dirt that I cant even say anything to him I am sick of being FAT and ugly and getting the looks the nasty things that people say that HURT damn it it hurt at 8 and it still hurts at 32 thank you for letting me vent shelley 458-371-???-210

shelley, I want to give you some wise words to make you feel better.........but I'm depressed too. I know what you mean about isolating yourself. I'm still not sure how I'll get back into society after my WLS. If theres anything i can do for you, even if you just need a big beefy shoulder to cry on, let me know. The people on this board wont let you be lonely for long. We are all in this together! There is so much support on this board....and at least one person who is going through what you are. Take care and be good to yourself. willby

ok girl let pull our selfs up and go out and party yea right dont even want to get out of bed this wont last we will get over it. it just takes time thanks for giving me a shoulder to cry on I might need it one day

hi shelley: i read your post and could relate to it instantly. even with kids in the house, i also felt alone. even with a hubby, i knew i was alone in this thing we call life. and it's miserable. but it doesn't have to be that way. start with your kids, maybe. explain that personal comments on mommy's skin (or anything else) sometimes hurt your feelings. i'm sure you've already had the chat with them about not commenting on other's appearances, especially not in public - then - the next time your stupid neighbor does something rude (like moo), you can explain to them that that's the kind of behavior that's rude, and stupid, and should be ignored. (UNLESS YOU WANT TO GET DOWN TO HIS LEVEL AND HAVE YOU AND THE KIDS ACT LIKE MONKEYS/DONKEYS WHEN HE'S OUT AND ABOUT) because, believe me, he's acting like an ape or a jackass. i remember a quote somewhere about the best revenge being living well. that's what you're striving for. as for getting back into society, it takes alot of courage and a bunch of baby steps. my kids tell me that i'll talk to anyone and people like to confide in me. the truth is that, i know everyone likes a good listener and we all have our stories to tell. so i do smile at just about anyone. and i listen. the friends you have on this board are also a great start. we're all here for you, girl. we've all felt the innumerable hurts, depressions, tears, pain, and feeling of just generally wanting to fall off the face of the earth. we'd all be more than happy to chat with you, listen to you, bounce ideas off of us if you want to. as you go through your journey, don't forget that you're changing. it's hard to deal with sometimes and we all need help at times. 'nuff said, shelley. sometimes i tend to ramble, but know, please, that you are getting there, it will get better, this change is worth it and it's worth doing it well. hugs dorthe

oh just love it going out side acting like the jerk he is lol I am going to talk to my kid when she gets back from fall break about what it makes me feel like when she says things like that and hope to no hurt her feelings but she needs to know that what she says hurts me thank you so much I need some one to tell me I was not alone in all this shelley

Hi Shelley, I cant add much more the dorthe said so elequently. I went through a rough time of depression shortly after my surgery. I couldnt understand how my family just went on with thier lives and I was wondering how I was going to get in protiens and fluids! It was very rough adjusting. But if you think about it this way maybe it will help. Your body went through a major change physically, and you have to catch up to that emotionally but it takes longer. It is like post partum depression. The reward at the end of the journey is worth it, but getting there is bumpy sometimes.You will get through this, it will pass. After a few weeks of struggling with my life changes, I slowly fit back into a routine and life as I knew it. Hang in there. You will be a much happier and healthier person. Hugs, Soos

Sounds to me like your neighbor is a real A hole. I would like to come and beat the **** out of him. Forget about him he is not worth worrying about. Friends are hard to meet. You are not alone there are many people just like you. You should be proud of yourself for starting this weightloss journey. You are just in a bad stage right now. Things will get so much better before you know it. Go out and get exercise, whatever you can do it will get easier. Watch your diet. Think about what you are going to be able to do a year from now. Really a year or 18 months is really not that long of a time. Be greatful for what you have not everbody are able or have childern. You are only 32 you have your whole life in front of you. Once you take off 200 pounds you will not be in the same about of pain you will feel better. John

hey shelley you've gotten some great replies here...i just wanted to add that i too, know EXACTLY what you are talking about and feeling. eight months ago i weighed 463 and life was not a lot of fun. now i'm down 185 lbs, and things are looking SO much better. just a couple days ago a man i work with every few weeks complimented me on how great i'm looking, but also added that he's noticed i'm smiling much more than i used to. i stopped and thought about that comment for a moment. i think it's that i'm starting to let down the wall i've kept around myself ... the wall that i put up to protect myself from the meanness that others inflict upon people like me. so hang in there...it's gonna get better! deb -185