I am going to stick my neck out here.

Nobody needs to defend themselves because I know none of the parties involved. Hey guys, the bickering has got to stop. This board deosn't move very fast and when new people approach us they see all this. It turns the regulars away. We need each other. We don't need to be best friends. We don't need to be each others families. We don't need to be each others social life. WE ARE A SUPPORT SYSTEM. We exist because only we know what it is like to be Super Morbidly Obese and all the sorrow, physical and emotional pain, all the humilation, and risk that involves. This is the place where we can talk about wiping our butts with a wooden spoon for crying out load. And this is the place where we rejoice when we no longer have too. I cringe when I hear some of you jokingly refer to each other as heifers. It's not funny even though it is intended that way. I was raised that you never tease about things that are true. Smores, delightful. Heifers, damaging. I screw up a lot. When it come to people and posts, I try very hard to remember an old saying. Take what you can use and leave the rest. Hugs and best wishes. Loris

Hi Loris, Thanks for saying this. I've not ever posted, but I've been lurking on the board for awhile and sometimes reply to others. I don't understand what has been going on, but it has been hard to read the post lately because they seem to be less about information and support and more about socialising. I don't want to offend anyone, just wanted to put my two cents in and support Loris. Beverly

Hi Loris, I personally do know what is going on, but I am here for support for everyone. The reason that I call us heffers is because we have a few people from GA and they are on farmland, and it is just a slang just as we use smoers as a slang. It is used in a loving way. I was over 400 when I started out my journey. If some stranger called me a heffer I would be humiliated. But if we call eachother that it is just because we know what it is like and it is said with love and fun. I mean no offense by it and I apologize if it was taken that way. You know the saying that I can call my own children something but if someone else does I wont tolerate it. Well thats how I feel on this board. We are all family and I was doing it in just that same manner. If someone outside of this board called you a heffer I would stand up for you in a heartbeat. I wont do it again because I never meant to offend. Please understand it was just for fun and with love. Soos

thanks for saying what needed to be said, loris. i appreciate your sticking your neck out. have a great week dorthe

Hi everybody, Thank you Loris for "sticking your neck out" for this one. I am deeply sadden by the insidents that has occurred on this board and what seems to have come to a head this week-end. I just wanted to say that I started going to this board for support like many of you...and found so much fun and laugh-out-loud laughter. You know...many of us think of this board as out SMO (smo-re) family. I think that is great..but remember...family members don't always get along wonderfully 100% of the time..just think...we belong to a community of people from all over the country plus! Look at all the many backgrounds that we all come from. Of course we all look at life, love, religion and politics differently..it's still America isn't it? That being said..religion and politics don't mix well with people from so many different and diverse backgrounds. Feeling are bound to be hurt...wether it is "voiced" or "unvoiced". We have many issues that we all have in common. One of them being or having had been Super Morbidly Obese..this is not a cosmetic thing for us..this is a life-saving thing!!! That being said. How sad is it that. WE all belong here..nobody should feel that they have to leave....this is your board and forum too..this isn't a popularity game..but it is easier than having to live day to day with a person...like in a "real" family..this isn't the Brady Bunch either. I hope I didn't hurt anybody's feelings here. That is not my intention and I hope I am not judged too harshly for it...my emotions are all over that place now that I have my approval for surgery..I look forward to continueing coming to this board for support and to lend mine to you if I can. Have a great day. Virginia in Arizona

HI LORIS I AM GLAD YOU R HERE AND I VALUE YOUR OPINION. I ALSO KNOW WHAT HAS WENT ON AND I AM SADDENED THAT SOMEONE WHO NEEDS US HAS LEFT; BUT AS FAR AS THE FAMILY THING: MY PERSONAL TAKE ON THAT IS THAT FAMILIES DO HAVE THEIR DIFFERENCES AND DON'T ALWAYS AGREE WITH ONE ANOTHER BUT THEY ALWAYS STICK BY EACH OTHER AND GIVE SUPPORT NO MATTER WHAT AND THAT IS WHY I CONSIDER YOU ALL MY SMO FAMILY I AM NOT SAYING YOU OR ANYONE ELSE HAS TO ADOPT THIS BELIEF. I PERSONALLY WELCOME AND ACKNOWLEDGE EVERYONE ON THIS BOARD. I SUPPORT YOU ALL . I ALSO GIVE BACK TO THIS BOARD IN LOTS OF WAYS NOT BECAUSE I WANT RECOGNITION BUT BECAUSE I WANT EVERYONE TO HAVE THE LOVE AND SUPPORT I HAVE FOUND. I HAVE MADE SOME VERY GOOD LIFELONG FRIENDS AND I HOPE YOU DO TOO. THERE R VERY WONDERFUL PEOPLE ON THIS BOARD AND I HOPE YOU DON'T MISS OUT ON THAT KIND OF FRIENDSHIP, SWEETIE, BECAUSE YOU LOOK AT THIS SITE AS ONLY FOR SUPPORT. WE ALL SUPPORT EACH OTHER BUT SOME OF YOU R CLOSER TO ME THAN MY OWN FAMILY, NOT EVERYONE HAS A SUPPORT SYSTEM OUT THERE AND SOME OUT THERE DON'T EVEN HAVE ONE PERSON EXCEPT US. I HOPE YOU LOOK CAN LOOK AT IT FROM THIS PERSPECTIVE IF ONLY FOR A MINUTE. YOU DON'T HAVE TO AGREE WITH IT, YOU ARE AN ADULT WITH YOUR OWN THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS AND I ACCEPT THOSE AND WILL CONTINUE TO SUPPORT YOU AND EVERYONE ELSE AND ANSWER ALL QUESTIONS I CAN OR HELP U FIND THOSE ANSWERS. THAT IS OUR JOBS HERE. HOPE YOU HAVE A GREAT DAY LOVE CANDY

Ok, here's my two-cents too I haven't a clue as to what went on to cause the turmoil that we've been reading about. It's been my experience however, having been involved with several forum situations over the course of the years, that this happens from time to time, even among the seemingly closest-knit "communities" ... invariably, a few members will begin to have problems with each other and their difficulties will boil over onto the whole forum. It's sad, but it's also human-nature, and no one is immune to that. As I see it, we'll just have to keep on keeping on with providing support and open-minds and hearts, and try to avoid siding off one way or another. Our responsibility, if we're going to be involved here, is to support each other ... and anyone new that comes along ... share as much information as we come by, compare notes on WLS, etc. and that's exactly what I intend to do. Having spewed all that out, may I just say to Loris, "good going girl!", your post was excellent ... and to everyone ... you've been a constant support to me, whether I've been an active participant or a lurker. (You know how it is, some days you "feel like a nut, some days you [just] don't"! ) (((hugs everyone))) Myra

MYRA LOVE YOU R RIGHT ABOUT THE SUPPORT AS I SAID IN MY POST WE LOVE YOU AS U KNOW AND I HOPE I DIDN'T OFFEND YOU OR ANYONE ELSE I KNOW I LEAN ON ALL OF U FOR SUPPORT ALSO I AGREE THAT THIS BOARD NEEDS TO REUNITE LOVE CANDY

Candy Cane, Nope, you've never offended me in any way! (Sorry I'm only just now catching up on my reading here). And you've been a major source of support for me and everyone else. (((hugs))) Myra

Loris, Thanks for your comments. I was so excited to find this board as I thought you guys would understand my SMO situation. But what I have found is arguing and little discussion about weight loss. The same thing happened on the Illinois board. First there was a feud between two ladies who insulted each other's hair, etc. and then it got real raunchy with a single guy and some single gals and I felt like I was reading porn. I'm not a prude by any means, but I come here for info and support, not bickering and porn. I hope this board can rally and provide the information and support that it was intended to. Wish us luck. Sherry