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I just wanted to say hi, and am really glad I found this board. I have been lurking around for awhile now trying to find out as much info as possible because I am just in the beginning stages of my WLS journey. I haven't gone to the seminar yet but will be going Nov. 7. I hope some of you can relate to what I am going through, and I hope no one here takes it in offense because that is not how I am intending it. I don't feel like anyone around me really understands what I am feeling. I have always known that I was overweight, I just never knew or realized how overweight I was. I think what really made me realize is when I did my BMI, and seen that it was at 55.8. At first that didn't mean much to me but then I seen actual pictures of others who had around the same BMI, and realized just what I looked like from other people's perspective. When I looked up to see how much my ideal weight should be, I cried because I am almost 200 lbs overweight. To say that now makes me cringe because I have allowed myself to get in this condition. I am so embarrassed. Not only am I embarrassed because of myself but for my husband and children because of them having to be seen with someone who is super morbidly obese for a wife and mother. Not only that, my husband is a preacher so as you can imagine we are noticed a lot more than others. My husband is wonderful, and makes no difference to him how big or small I am, he loves me for who I am. I just feel like I am being a disgrace to the ministry that God has given to us. I know that a lot of how I am feeling is just me. I have really thought about this surgery long and hard, and did a lot of praying about it. I know that this surgery is not the "magic cure" but is a tool to help a person stay on track. I have health issues that will go away once I get the pounds off. I am so ready to feel better physically, to be healthy, to grow old with my husband, to see my children grow-up, and to see them have children of their own. I also have some questions for those of you who are post-op. Some of my biggest concerns with the surgery is will I have to have an epedural (sp?). I had two of them when I had my boys, and both times, it was a horrible experience that I never want to go through again. Will my taste/appetite change because I am literally hungry a lot, and I crave a lot of starchy foods. What about the tubes that come out your body, what and where are those going to be? What is the filter, and how is it attached to you? What other pre-op procedures am I going to have to go through, and please fill me in on the details. I don't want to go into this thing blindly. I want to know good or bad the things I will have to face before surgery. Thanks for listening and answering my questions Denise

HI DENISE SWEETIE WE ALL KNOW WHAT YOU R GOING THROUGH BELIEVE ME PLEASE FEEL FREE TO ASK ANY QUESTIONS YOU HAVE SOMEONE HERE WILL KNOW THE ANSWER PLEASE KNOW THAT YOU R NOT ALONE THERE ARE SOME REALLY WONDERFUL PEOPLE HERE BOTH POST OP AND PRE OP YOU WILL GET SUPPORT FROM BOTH GROUPS SO GRAB A AND HOLD ON FOR THE OF YOUR LIFE YOU WILL HAVE SO MUCH FUN HERE LOVE CANDY

Thanks Candy. I am glad that I am not alone. Denise

I know exactly how you feel!! My husband booked us a "romantic getaway" this weekend in one of those special hotels with a jacuzzi and a private swimming pool and lots of mirrors. I was so distracted by being disgusted with myself that I couldn't even enjoy it. I kept putting on a robe (had to bring my own because of course the one they provide is WAY too small). My husband kept telling me to relax, but I was just horrified by all of those mirrors!! We will all get through this!

Denise, I hope I can help. I am 5 months post op and feel like I've learned a lot. Let me start out by saying that you need to let go of beating yourself up for what you've done to this point. You haven't disgraced God nor yourself. Super Morbid Obesity is a disease. We just get to be the unfortunate ones that experience it. But, at least help is available to us! This isn't a magic cure, you will still have to do a lot of work to make it and keep it successful, but, you are ready now. It is the best time to do it! Here's my story. I am 44 years old. My high weight was 384 lbs. I was barely walking. I had to use a cane. Last February, my knees were really hurting me. My orthopedic doctor told me to get 100 lbs off or I'd be in a wheel chair. This really scared me. My mother and father are both super morbidly obese. My mother has had 2 kinds of cancer and has congestive heart failure. My father has type II diabetes, high blood pressure, high cholesterol. Neither of them can walk unaided. They are only 61 and 62 years old! Anyway, I'm certain this was my future and even though physicians had been suggesting WLS to me for the past 5 years, I was finally ready. It is a very risky operation. I've done well, but, not every one does. You have to decide that your quality of life is so bad that you can risk dying for a better one. Tough decision. Can't be based on looks or what people think of you, at least, not for me. To get myself ready for the surgery I read 7 books about it. That really helped! It prepared me for the reality of it. I had my surgery as a lap RNY on May 23rd. I lost 20 lbs pre-op due to a liquid diet the surgeon put me on. I've lost 75.5 lbs since! I did not have to have an epidural. I had very little pain. I know that is the result of having the lap RNY. Hopefully, you can do that. I never filled my pain pill prescription when I left the hospital. I was there for 4 days. Your appetite does change. You literally will not feel hungry for quite awhile so you must force yourself to eat and drink on schedule. It is critical that you do this. It is so easy to develop post op complications because you are not getting enough fluids, vitamins or protein. I followed my surgeon's recommendations to the letter. I manage it with fitday.com. It keeps track of all my exercise and my eating, my calories and my protein. Which is hard to do without a good tool. You can use the online version for $19.95 or buy the downloadable one for your pc which has more features, I think it is $39. I highly suggest getting it now and start keeping track. It will be so fun once you are on the losing side and see the weight graph take the big nose dive! I can't eat bread, it feels like a lump in my pouch, it isn't worth it. I've only had dumping syndrome twice when I ate desserts that had way too much sugar...stay away from those. I've never thrown up! Anyway, let me know how I can help. I feel like I've done well and plan on continuing to do so! Lori 384/288.5/170

I had a BMI in the mid-sixties before surgery. To be honest, though, I was in such denial, I didn't see myself as obese. The first support group meeting I went to, my honest reaction was, "This isn't for me. This is for really fat people." I probably outweighed the heaviest by 50 pounds at least. After I peeled away the blinders, I spent a miserable couple of months dealing with how fat I was. It wasn't fun, but it helps reinforce the fact that I will do everything in my power not to go back. I was a binge eater. I would eat huge amounts of fast food. I didn't make it to a quarter ton by eating only salads (though I loved them, too). One of my big fears coming into surgery was how I would control myself. I've come to realize that what surgery really does is give you a time out. Real hunger goes away for a while (permanently, apparently, for me). Head hunger is vicious, though. You would swear it's real hunger...but it's not. It's that sort of thing that's the real battle. The fight for the first few months is recognizing what your food problems are and doing your best to correct them or make sure they're not around (to this day, I can't have potato chips in the house). While my Roux en Y was absolutely 100% successful, I did have a VERY rare reaction to anesthetic (1/50,000 to 1/75,000 people, and nothing to do with the fact that this was gastric bypass surgery--just a .genetic mutation). The end result was that I spent two weeks in the hospital in intense pain. For that reason I had an epidural, but no one I've known before or after has had to have one. I've been asked what my secret to success has been, and people hate the answer: eat less and exercise more. Don't get me wrong, I need WLS to get me started on this path and give me the time out to reset my brain when it comes to food. Tastes do change...some things I loved, I can't stand, while I've gained tastes I didn't have before. I know love coffee, and never drank it before, and strong, sharp cheese. It's strange what may or may not appeal. Pre-op tests? It was pretty much a full battery of lung, heart, and blood tests. I had an upper-GI to make sure everything was intact as well as an ultrasound of my gall bladder to see if it needed to come out during surgery. I did have one drain tube for about a week after surgery. It was located to the upper left of my navel. Other than that, I had no other drains. Some of the surgeons at the hospital don't use drains at all. I hope that helps at all. Eric C. 478/205/205 March 22, 2004 RNY 64-66" waist to 34" waist

Hi Denise I just wanted to drop in and welcome you to the board There are lots of supportive people here who would be more than happy to answer any questions you may have I am still preop but in the final stages of it and will soon be a Loser If I can ever be of any help feel free to ask or email me. Take care, Anita

Welcome to the board. I had my surgery one year ago. I have lost 195 lbs. I was 398 lbs and I am now down to about 203 lbs. The weight loss really makes a difference. My quality is so much better than it was a year ago. I did wake up with a g tube and it stayed in for over a month. It was uncomfortable.. The whole surgery process was uncomfortable. It took a good 2 to 3 months to start feeling better. By Easter I felt like a new man and had the best summer I can remember. The people at my church have been wonderful. I used to have to wear sweats to church because nothing else fit. I could not find a pair of pants that would fit I had a couple of 62 inch pants that I could pull up and wear with suspenders but I could never keep my shirt tucked in and my fat belly would always stick out. I was in a 6x and 7x shirt. This past Sunday I was a greeter and shook everybody hand as they entered the church. I wore a new three piece suit. I was embarrassed by all the people who told me how good I looked. I told them yes I look better but what is reaaly great, I feel better. A year ago I was "sick", today I am healthy.

Hey Sandra The seminar I am going to is in Columbia, SC at the Lexiton Medical Center, and will be Nov. 7. The doctors that my pcp is recommending is Dr. Strickland and Dr. Givens. From what I have asked on the SC board everyone that has gone to them highly recommends them. It is about an hour a way from me, and I have looked closer but am not to thrilled with what I have found. So I guess I will continue on. Denise

Thanks to everyone who has responded. I am feeling better, I think besides the shock of realizing how big I actually am, I have been under some stress. We are moving the end of this month, after Thanksgiving we have to move my mom who has parkinson's from Missouri and she will be living with us, and then in January I will be starting online classes in a two year program to become a sign language interpretor. I just got overloaded today. I know just one day at a time. Denise