Is this the end for me?????????

I really don't want to post this, but........... I can't stand it anymore. I have to say why I feel the way I do. My friend had GBP surgery about 2 years ago and she has only lost 100 pounds. She was very big when she started and I feel that she still is. She is about 5' 4" and I know she is in a tight size 24. She does not eat right and did not follow the program like she should have in my opinion. For instance she can drink 3-4 HUGE glasses of Kool aid WHILE she is eating. I know she's 2 years out, but that is a big NO NO!!! My most greatest fear has always been that I'm going to go through this surgery and be a "failure". I could just cry. Maybe everyone goes through this, these feelings. Well it's official. I'm on my first plateau. It has now been 3 weeks and the scale has moved back and forth 3 pounds. I know I have lost alot of weight in such a short time, but I'm scared as hell. I keep telling myself that my body is catching up with my weight loss. I can't stop worrying about it or thinking about it. I just keep thinking of my friend and how she failed. I have noticed that I can eat a little bit more now, and that scares me to death too. These are the things that we need to talk about!!!! I need some help. Being SMO to begin with made me feel that I WILL NEVER BE THIN or a normal size. I mean come on, 400 lbs. It just can't happen. Please don't let this be the end for me. I want to be normal. Dammit, I didn't go through this risky surgery just to lose 108 pounds!!! I could have done that without surgery!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AM I DONE??????????????????? What should I do???????????? I am soo sorry for whining about this and I probably should be thankful for what I have lost, and I am, really, but I won't be satisfied or consider myself a sucessful patient, if I don't come close to my goal size/weight. Please, someone, tell me what I need to do. I eat for **** Maybe 500-700 cal a day, I can only get in about 35-40 oz of water and I haven't been able to start excersising yet because of my foot. Is this what I'm doing wrong??????????????? A very scared SMOer ~~Carmella~~ PS I'm not posting this to any other board, because they wouldn't understand what I'm going through or feeling. **** my Mayers are at goal already!!! And I still have 115 pounds to go.

Oh Carm, Don't despair... it is only the end for you if you let it be. It may be the end for your friend if she chooses to go off of her program, but I know you are much too dedicated to this new lifestyle (and to getting into those size 14 jeans ) to let everything that you've worked so hard for slip away! You're just not that kind of girl... come on, I mean look at how committed you've been to giving up your Pepsi and your Mountain Dew!?!? A little plateau means nothing; your body is taking a rest and catching up like you said. Also, once you start exercising the pounds will come off again for sure. Maybe you need to try harder in the water department. As for the eating, make sure you are getting enough calories in because that can slow things down too. If you aren't sure about this you should contact your nutritionist, but for me, if things tend to slow down a bit, I increase my calories by 100 or so for a couple of days and then go back down. For me, this seems to help. I once read a post someone wrote about how to break plateaus, and basically she advised to change something in your routine - *anything at all* - even if it is small... because your body can get too comfortable in one place if you keep doing the exact same exercise, eating the exact same foods, etc. Besides, you are only 5 months out - you've still got plenty of losing to do and time to do it. I know the exercise will definitely help, but... and I hate to say it... things like "Fritos" won't . I know you know all these things; you just need to keep staying positive and doing what you know are the right things for you. What happens with your friend has no bearing on your success (or lack thereof) unless you allow it to affect in that way! Keep that chin up, Carm; you're a rebel trucker - remember?? Take Care, Tanja

((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((TANJA)))))))))))))))))))))))))) My friend. I love ya girl. I'm really trying. Carmella

Carmella, plateaus happen to everyone, and you know that. People lose at different rates, and you know that. Step away from the scale, continue on program, exercise when you are able, and you'll continue to do well. Best of luck. Kasey 365/215/195 (nonop)

Carm, Come on girlfriend, you know better. You have a good year left for your surgery "honeymoon" before it is over. I have gone for 2 months at a time without losing and then bam. You know I have a spandex pouch. I eat a lot, I drink my protien and water. I get in between 1300-2000 calories a day and I am still losing. Its not a race, even if you slow up you will still lose. I think you need to eat more. I think maybe your body is in starvation mode. It will catch up soon, dont be discouraged. You are doing terrific. Just remember, we all lose at different rates, and as long as you are not eating the wrong foods (and I know you are not) you will be a sucess. I thought I was the only one that was going to fail at this. That is part of the reason I didnt tell people, even to this day my neighbors dont know. I figured all my diets always failed, and this wont be different. Then, when I started being able to eat so much, I got really worried. But I am down 165lbs now, so it does work if you work it. Hang in there girl, your doing great. Love, Granny soos

Carmella, I really dont have any words of wisdom since I havent started down that road yet. Just wanted to say please dont get disheartened. Remember your post to me? The one where you were so excited about the weight you lost and you were so encouraging to me? Please try to look at what youve ALREADY accomplished........not how far you have to go. You CAN do this! willby

Carmella, I can only imagine what you are going through as I am still pre-op, but don't give up! It sounds like these other girls know you very well and you are doing what you are supposed to. Don't let your friend bring you down just because she chose not to follow her proper diet. 108 pounds in 5 months is AMAZING!! And like someone else said, you have a long way to go in your "honeymoon' period. I believe it was Tanja that suggested change something in your everyday routine, that even works for me now and I haven't had surgery yet. When I did weigh****chers i found foods within my points that I liked and stuck with the same boring things over and over. After four months of this and only losing 17 pounds I knew something wasnt right! so try that if you havent already. Good luck and keep your chin up, you can do this! ((((HUGS)))) Karyn

Hey Carm, Girl dont make me have to get my traveling muu muu on and head out to Ohio ok! I dont want to hear anymore about your friend! Number one. She is NOT you and YOU are more committed to your lifestyle change than she apparently is. She wont never lose more than that prob sucking down the koolaid like that lol. And im almost sure her eatting habits aint all that either. I am telling you now, you have done a UNREAL job and will continue to as long as you keep focused like you have been. We all hit plateaus. I havent had surgery yet but I can tell you now you would be on your soapbox to fussing at me telling me to get a grip and things will pick up again. Give it time and like tan said change it up a little. But please I worry about ya, DONT LET ME HAVE TO HAVE AN INTERVENTION FOR KOOLAID! LOL.... Hugs Margaret

Carmella, Not all your Mayers are at goal already. I still have 112 lbs to go myself! This is a long scary process for us. I've lost 102 lbs, but, can eat almost normally now and that worries me. I sometimes make poor choices or eat too much of something before I realize it. That is the old Lori creeping back in. It really does scare me. The one very good thing I've done is to exercise. I hope you will be able to as well when you are healed. In the meantime, do the sitting chair exercises with your arms above your head and such. My nutritionist told me to put on an exercise video like Richard Simmons or something and just do the arms part. It does help. It also helps your head. When I feel like I might be failing once again, a trip to the gym really helps! Hang in there and keep talking to us who do understand! Lori 384/282/170