Are my feelings hurt or am I just mad?

Okay my friends I gotta vent this to someone or I might just blow up. Let me first give you a few details my marriage broke up in July of 2004 due to husband use of drugs illegal that is.I tried everything to get him to get help but you can't help someone who does not want it.Our divorce was final in Aug of 2005 due to previous break-ups over drug use. We have two small kids and he does not pay support nor does he have anything to do with them. That is with him seeing them about every6 3mths or so since the divorce and sleeping with me the whole time this is going which is my fault has well I should have never slept with him again and then maybe this would not hurt so bad.Back in March he met his current flavor off the internet and have been going together since they met and sleeping with me the whole time he is dating her and living with her.Since him and his flavor have been together he has seen his boys a little bit more and paid support couple of times. This weekend my kids were at his apartment for visitation while they were there he told them that his current flavor is preggers. this came up in conversation with my four yr old who ask me mommy do you have a baby in your belly like daddy's flavor does? My mouth hit the floor and I was speechless. Now my feelings are hurt real bad I knew he was jerk but I really did not think they would have any kids together I guess that what I get for thinkking right.I called him and ask him if his flavor was knocked up and he said yes that their baby is due in June.I feel like his flavor is really just dumb kid who has never had sex with anyone but him and maybe thats how she reasons all his bull**** away she is 21 and he is 29 and I am 34. Does anyone think I should tell her that he has been unfaithful to her does that make me sound like I am just seeking revenge because she is knocked up by him?Maybe I just should cut my losses the best I can and leave alone because I know he will be done with her once that baby of theirs gets here. I could use some advice. Connie

Dam that is a tough one. I would tell her but I am that way. I hate when people play other people and that goes for men or woman... She should know that she needs to start a life for her and her child and not count on him to be there for her. So my vote is tell her but do not do it yelling either call her up when he is at work or stop by there and just talk with her. Let me know how it goes Good luck and remember be DONE with him once a cheat always a cheat as he has now proven.... Good Luck Priscilla

Connie, It is so hard to make a judgement call, when you are unsure of your true motives. You need to think about this, do you truly care about this girl and what happens to her? Chances are she will do what she wants regardless of what you have to say about it, and she will likely think you are lying because you are jealous, then you will just have a big mess. As tempting as it may be, you really should just cut your losses and let her figure it out for herself, and if she doesn't, it's not your problem. Would you have listened to someone if you were in her situation? Believe me, I know it is easier said than done, because I would probably want to rub it in her face! But you can be the better person and stay out of it, and lose that LOSER!! I am so sorry that you even had to go through any of this and cant imagine how hurt you must feel, I hope that you can find the strength to kick his A** to the curb and let the new one deal with his abusive habits. You did what was best for you and your kids and now you have to stick with it. You can do it, we are here for you. (((((((((((HUGS)))))))))) Karyn

Prisicilla and Karyn, Thanks for the advice or the kind words I have decide to do nothing and when that little girls rose colored glasses fall off I figure she will have enough broken pieces to pick up without me adding to it.I realize I am more seeking revenge on him not her I don't want any harm to come to her and her baby even though some other women showed no campassion for me when that F***ing shoe was on my foot 2years ago. So again thanks for letting me get this off my chest Connie

Cut your losses and leave it all behind you. Their business is theirs ... meaning, she'll find out when it's meant for her to find out ... coming from you she might just side in with him more thinking it's sour grapes on your part. Anyway, you need to be heading forward with your life ... let go and don't look back. How can I say all this with such confidence? Because this sounds like such a familiar story to me (ditto the drug thing, ditto the other wom(e)n thing, ditto the other child thing) from my divorce. I could have saved myself alot of hurt and residual psyche damage if I'd simply let go faster and walked away. There was no fixing the situation, it was a lost cause completely, but I didn't see that soon enough and suffered longer than was necessary. In turn it made it very hard to build trust in another person. So give yourself a break and start on a new life, leaving all this old stuff behind. You'll be better off in the long run. signed: Been There, Done That, Myra