Just Need to Talk.........

Hi everyone. Just been one of those days (weeks). I miss everyone. Nobody's hardly posting anymore either!!!!! As some of you know, me and my SIL got into it a few months ago and since then have not spoken to each other. (We have been very close friends for 10 years) Well, now of course the birthday parties are starting and the holidays. Well I haven't seen her in 4 weeks until Saturday. Well the MIL calls me on Sat. and says to me, "Well Carmella, you a still part of the family and just because you and Tammy are not getting along doesn't mean you are not welcome." Then she proceeds to say to me, "Tammy said that she would be socialable to you, she just doesn't want to hang out with you anymore." WTH?????????????????????? Ohhh holer than tho???? Thank you (Tammy) for giving me my forgiveness. I couldn't believe that my MIL had the nerve to say that too me, My thoughts were, ya know, just drop it and keep it to yourself. So, being the bigger person that I am, I go to the birthday party. NOT ONE PERSON SPOKE TO ME!!!!!! Not Tammy, BIL, or my 2 nieces. I could not believe it. Well, I am DONE!!! I WILL NOT let anyone treat me like dog **** I just want to put that in writing. I'm just really depressed. I'm stressed at home, work and just in general . I'm trying to get used to my new body and "I" am changing too. This is all new too me. I go through my moments. I'm not on any meds anymore for it and I think that maybe I should go to MD and get back on them. Thanks for letting blow some smoke. I just don't want to let this bother me as much as it has. I'm doing the best that I can, "getting on with my life" as they say. I need to make new friends now and find things to keep me busy on the weekends. Take Care~~ Carmella

Carmella, You are so right. You need to be the focus of your life right now. I know it can be so difficult as we go through these changes. Some people are treating me different as well. But, I am feeling so darn good about myself now, the fact that I still keep track of what I eat in fitday.com and that I go to the gym 5 days a week. Nobody can shake me now! You are in the right place here, girl. We are here for you. Lori 384/278/170

Oh Carmella Sweetie here is a {{{{GREAT BIG HUG}}} being sent to you! I am really sorry you are having to deal with the inlaws from hell. I, unfortunately had to write mine off A LONG time ago. I think time heals all wounds and just go on with your life and be happy and be damn them and what they think. You know what, the next time your MIL feels the need to bring this up and how your "still a part of the family" tell her LIFE IS TOO SHORT TO DEAL WITH IDIOTS>>NO THANKS!! I guess I might be out of place to call your hubby's folks idiots but they are really acting foolish at a time when YOU need support and understanding not glares and ignorance. WE ARE HERE FOR YOU CARMELLA and I WILL NEVER TURN MY BACK ON YOU!! {{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}} Jamie

I am sorry you are having these problems. If you feel you need to talk to your doctor about getting back on your medication, why don't you? No sense in it being any harder than it has to be. My husband's sister doesn't get along with anyone, except her mom and sis because they are afraid to say boo to her. I got tired of her being either all kissy pie or in a outrage so I don't communicate with her except to make very small talk family functions. Life is too short to be on other people's roller coasters. Some people really like drama in their lives. I don't. Your MIL should stay out of it. I may not go home for Christmas this year even though we have already bought our tickets. Because of various cir****tances, I have been home four times since July. If I can't go with a cheerful heart, I am staying home. I have had my quota of relatives this year. (I just got back yesterday.) Enjoy your own family over the holidays. I hope you get to feeling better soon. Loris

Carmella, OK... I have some Aunt Pam stuff to share: you showed such maturity going to the party with your relatives that had said such back handed comments to you. I know it is a hard situation, but how does your hubby respond to his families response to you? Was the party for someone who was glad you were there and not the inconsiderate ones who ignored you? Each time things like this happens in our lives we must decide where to spend our energy, and sometimes, even though it is hard, going to occations for one nephew or if one occation is super important to a spouse is worth the hard situations, because "they" are worth the energy. YOU have to decide. You said you are changing.. that can be hard and sometimes scarry for others aound us. I am not saying don't change, but communication of the changes can bring those in to your evolving when you wish. Think about the energy you are spending on these people who you wish out of your life right now.... let it go, so your energy is NOT spent on them, right now, they are not worth your time.... breath their words and the memory of their rude actions out and let your mind then be filled with the peace as you breath in! Carmella, surround yourself with postive... {{{{{{Carmella}}}}} with people who truely care, and those who support YOU! You know... you said it "I WILL NOT let anyone treat me like dog ****" There is nothing wrong with asking your doctor about your meds. You are going through alot and sometimes meds can help ease the adjustment to such depressing situations life brings our way..... You will know it they hel*****t.. HUGS, Aunt Pam

Carmella, Come on girl! Dont let them get you down. You have been doing so good at pulling yourself up by your boot straps. Anytime you venture into a conversation with another person (be it relative or not) you take the risk of drama. Most of the time its good.........but then again........with relatives who knows? I have been taking Zoloft for depression for about 3 years now. When I had my surgery, I coulnt take it for a few days so I thought it might be a good oppurtunity to get off of it for good. WRONG! I started to be real irritable(trust me.........I didnt think that was even possible) So I started taking it again. I feel pretty good now. Granted, it doesnt take care of the relative thing. But you cant win them all My own sister who I was really close to growing up, hasnt talked to me for going on 4 years. S-O-R-R-Y I had to turn her husband in for child abuse. Anyways, the day before my WLS she gives my mom a card and a present for me. WTH? She still isnt talking to me.........so I cant figure out the gift Remember,GF, you can pick your nose, you can pick your friends ..........but you cant pick your relatives! take care willby PS: that will be 5 cents please(just like Lucy from peanuts)

a few years back i suffered from some major depression and I found this great counselor who taught me alot and one of them was that i was a person and that i have the right for respect as well as the next person. and so do you Carmella. Just keep doing what you need to do to take care of carmella and the rest will fall in place. Time will heel the reef between you and your sil. You are changing and that is hard sometimes for families and friends to understand. Good luck, marie