Where is the trust????

Hi Everyone, Well I have to say I am so upset in fact I cried all night last night. This was the first time that this really upset me. I really thought I could trust a close friend of mine at work. Well I was wrong. She called me last night to inform me that she has statred telling people at the office that I had WLS. I was so mad I just told I had to get off of the phone. I was so upset. She made me a promise and she broke it. I told her to please just go with that I am having gall bladder surgery. Well she aske dme if they took my gall bladder and I told her the truth - no they said that my gall bladder was fine. Well since they have not taken my gall bladder she felt that she couldn't lie for me to she has just been telling everyone that I had WLS. If I wanted the entire office to know that the fattest person in the room was having WLS - I would have taken out a bill board in King of Prussia. I am very hurt - because now I know I am going to get a bunch of crap in my life that I never wanted to deal with in the first place. It is my personal business that I had this surgery. I guess we all learn something new every day. I guess you just can't trust anyone in the world anymore or at least it sure feels that way. Now I don't even know what to say to her - because I know that she has already told the biggest loud mouth at the office. SO I am sure the whole office knows by now. Everytime I think about it I just want to cry. I am sure that is part of the medicines that I am still on as well. I just don't even know how to handle the situation. I still need to think about it. Thanks for reading, Monica F.

I dont know what to tell you I was yelling from the rof tops about mine wanted every one to know but I understand that you wanted this not to get around sorry to hear that your friend did this to you hope that you get the support you need from the office not what you think will happen love you guys shelley

HI Shelley, Well I just did not want to be picked on or harassed about something else at the office. My office is like 95% men and they treat me terrible so I just did not want to hear all the crap about taking the easy way out , etc. I just wanted to keep it private. I know I will never get support from my co-workers at the office and that was part of the reason why I decided that I did not want them to know. My friends and family knew and I felt that those were the people that needed to know. Thanks for the words of encouragement - I will have to turn this into a positive thing. Hugs, Monica

hi monica: i'm so sorry your friend(?) let you down. it happens alot but always hurts to have it happen to you. you may find, however, that the people in your office are genuinely interested and trying to be supportive, if you give them a chance and can be open with them about it. i, too, wanted to shout from the rooftops when i was approved. by the time i got to that point i was convinced this surgery was my final choice, wls or death. so i solicited support. there was no secret here. i was desperately, horribly, incredibly overweight and mostly i found that people were happy/relieved that i had decided to do this for myself. how to deal with the so called friend - i don't believe in carrying around anger, it's too hard on the angry person. i guess i'd tell her, forcefully, that she had let me down. then i would never, ever trust her again. but you'll have to ultimately decide what's best. good luck. dorthe

Hi Dorthe, I know that alot of people want to shout theirs from the roof tops. But my office is not a nice place to work men (no offense) at least the ones in my office remind me everyday how fat I am by making some kind of comment. It's awful - I want out of that job so bad, but for right now I guess I will have to use the cards that I have been dealt with and tell all the Skinny men in the office if I wanted them to know I would have told them. Trust me I know that this sounds very negative and I am not trying to sound negative. But after you have gotten moo'ed at, laughed at, called horrible names, and get stared at when you eat. It just makes you very hurt that these are the people that you work with and that they have no respect for you. When you know that you go in everyday and do the best that you can do at your job. I just feel that the atmosphere there is terrible for me and when I get back I do plan on looking for a new job. But I know that it will take some time. As you can tell - I have experienced a huge amount of being treated terrible like most of us have. And I am just so am very hurt that some one that makes a promise can't even keep it. Thanks for the thoughts & I will think about what you said, Hugs, Monica F.

I know it's awful to lose a friend to that sort of betrayal... and I wish I could take that hurt away. OMG... had I been "moo'd at" I would have definitely reported that to superiors even to the district manager... technically that's sexual harrassment, that is considered "workplace harrassment" based on your gender and weight... and in some states, that's grounds for quitting and STILL collecting unemployment.

this is about you not them. If they are interested let them know as much as you want them to. And also i wish i could remember where but I read somewhere u should let them know what u expect out of them. I wish u didnt have to go threw this but now all u can do is try to take control of the situation. my prayers are with u. bye marie. Oh it was a wls site try kate bailey. something i found on the net when i first started research. maybe it was a barbara somebody. oh heeelll i wish i could remember it would help u so much. i am sorry. bye marie

Hi Marie, Thanks, I never thought of it that way. Hmmmm - maybe I could not say anything about it when I get back and let them believe whatever they want to believe. I will have to check out that website thanks! Monica F.

Hi Monica. I am sorry that you have a friend that has betrayed your trust and I cant blame you one bit for being upset about it. There is no excuse and she should have kept her promise to you. If it was your wish to keep this private she should have respected that. But since she did not, you have nothing to be embarrassed or ashamed about having WLS. I think that people that chose to do this are very brave and respectable people. You have made a decision to demand your life back and you should be PROUD of yourself for making that decision. People that chose to make negative comments are doing so because they have never been in our shoes and they are ignorant to what this life is like. So, i guess what I am saying is that I agree with Shelley, I told everyone, and I also made it quite clear that it was MY decision and if you weren't supportive of me than BUTT OUT!!!! So be proud of the decision you made and for any one that chooses to be negative or ignorant they are not worthy of your friendship. We are all here for you! Karyn

Awww thanks Karyn, All you guys are so right - the more I read everyones responses. The more I feel like (yea, if you don't like what I did then go away!) I have not even said anything to my friend yet and I am going to tell her that she betrayed my trust. Thanks, Monica F. PS - I guess I am learning something new today huh?