Where is the trust????

Aw Monica, I'm sorry that that dumb lady has diarrhea of the mouth! I wish I had some sage words of wisdom.......like dont let it bother you.......but I dont. It just amazes me that she took it upon herself to tell your private information!! What an idiot!! take care and hope youre feeling better! willby

Hi Willby, Well - I am feeling better after all the wonderful messages I got about the situation. I am going to have a talk to her tonight and if she does not like it tough she will just have to realize that she broke a promise. Thanks, monica F.

Monica, I am very sorry that someone betrayed your trust. I do want to say, however, that you can't hide weight loss surgery. You lose too fast. If you don't let people know the truth, the rumors start that you have cancer or something. Believe me, it happened here at my work. I was open about my WLS because of it. I'm a 4 year breast cancer survivor and I didn't want people to think I had it back and was wasting away! This one guy here at work had the surgery and didn't tell any of us, the cancer rumor ran rampant for awhile! If anyone gives the the "taking the easy way out" line, you have my permission to slap them. Lori 384/274/170

Hi Marlene, Sheesh!! How dare she- especially after you asked and she promised not to tell. I am so sorry this happened to you. I understand about being selective with who you want to share this with. My father in law is the jerk of the century, and I really did not even want to deal with him regarding WLS. Well.... he found out anyone and ever since, he has been harassing me and everytime we go over there he comes up with all this crap about how this surgery is either and terrible scary mistake, or that it is the easy way out. He's always trying to adjust the menu when we eat there with them and constantly asks if I can eat this or that. He drives me nuts and I am still mad at the family member who told him I was having WLS. I just feel that he is hostile and an ass, so I hate that he even has anything at all to do with it. For me this is a sensitive thing, and I really want to keep it as positive as possible, so I understand about not wanting anyone who won't honor your decision for the beautiful gift that it is in your life. Please know that I am sorry that you were hurt by this. You did one of the bravest things in the world to take care of yourself, and even though I don't know you other than from reading your posts here, I am proud of you. You had courage, and that courage can be drawn upon again now to help you to hold your head high in the face of what the jerks might say or do with the knowledge you never wanted them to have in the first place. Be proud of you. You are strong and nothing they could ever say could take that away. Take gentle care.

Mon, I am so sorry this happened! ((((((((((((MONICA))))))))))) I know how you felt about this. You can't take back what she has already said to people, so you can turn it into a positive. If you are asked questions you can... blow them off, tell them it's private and do not wish to discuss it, or you can educate them about WLS. I have found those that have a negative impression about the surgery, don't really know anything about it. As far as those that have been rude and have said hurtful things in the past, F 'em! First and foremost, you are better than they are. What reasonable adult would do and say such things?! I know it happens, I've been the brunt of jokes for years, but not at work. I really feel for you sweetie! Love ya! Huggs, Ruth

Monica, hi my name is Connie. This happened to me also it not that I care who knows it just as the fat girl we get talked about so much anyways who needs this to complicate things. My friend put her opinion in the newspaper under the editor section about How can someone be desperate enough to have WLS.which insued with several comments from readers. I simply wrote the paper back and I said i feel it is private matter for someone to decide on WLS and my first only mistake I made was thinking the lady who orginal sent you this comment was my friend I know different now and thanks to your paper for exposing a mean jealous person who was posing as my dear friend and they printed it just like that. That was in Nov of 04 I had surgery in Aug. 05 have never spoken to my alleged friend again. I also had mine done with outsiders knowing only that my gallbladder was being taken out no one knows the truth cept for my SMO's and my immediate family. I did not even tell my X husband the father of my childern it was my choice and no body else's I hope this helps some I am so sorry that your friend messed with you like that. Peace, Connie

Monica, Your "friend" probably told people before coming to you to ask about the gall bladder. She's trying to pretend she has moral authority -- she can't lie, etc. Keeping her trap shut isn't the same as lying. She should learn to do more of that. That said, I think there's a larger issue here. It sounds like your workplace is incredibly hostile. Maybe you should think about looking for work someplace else? I'm not saying you should quit your job, just that you might consider sending out some resumes and taking it from there. If you get a comparable offer someplace less creepy, that might be the way to go. You should also try standing up to some of these men. If someone mooed at me in a work environment, I'd report them to management or HR. Failing that, I'd get right in their face and ask them what the problem was. I'm sure not one of these men is such a perfect physical specimen that he has th right to make fun of anybody else. I'd probably look at the guy, stare at his crotch and say "Oh, so sad. You're compensating again. Maybe you could try a pump or some Viagra and leave me the hell alone."